Wedding Planning!

[Luet]

It sounds like they just picked out some pre-done menus and didn't take the time to tailor anything to you. That doesn't sound very promising.

[steph]

Holy cow! Don't they realize that they serve the customer and if they can't come up with something for the customer, they have no business? That's CRAZY!

I SO wish Brian and I could come cook Italian for you. Brian learned to cook from small, old Italian women in Italy.

[Young Val]

The funniest part is that they seriously sent us this HUGE questionnaire that required really specific answers about things like this. I just think it's so weird to request all that information and then not read it. There's a LOT of options, so David and I will have to sit down with it all over the weekend and figure out what to do.

Meanwhile, the other caterer has sort of secretly been my favorite all along, so I'm hoping they come up with something really fantastic and then this insanity can end!

And steph, I'd snap up you and Brian as my caterers in a hot minute if it were feasible! Mmmm, I need cooking lessons from you guys. Or just to come over for dinner.

[steph]

I'm having faith that your secretly favorite caterers will put together the perfect menu!

And you totally don't need cooking lessons from us. You are a way more gourmet cook than me. You just can't cook for your own wedding! It's pretty much impossible. We'd love to have dinner together, though.

[powerfulcheese04]

Man, the "Mexican Fiesta!" still gets me. I hate it when wedding vendors ask you lots of questions and don't actually pay attention to the answers.

I hope the secret favorites turn out to be the clear winners and it all wraps up!

[Young Val]

Because David's every spare moment is dedicated to studying for school, we schedule in our weddings talks. I do a lot of the preliminary stuff by myself, the reasearch, etc, and narrow things down to a few choices, and we discuss them and decide together which way we want to go. We usually schedule this wedding stuff for the weekend, and last night we definitely did not have any wedding talk scheduled, but I couldn't help myself.

David comes in from work, and has about 40 minutes to eat dinner and get to class. I already have dinner on the stove, I give him a hug and kiss, and let him say hi to the cat, but before he can even take his shoes off, I break into Wedding Talk.

Kelly: So, I know tonight is not a Wedding Talk night, and I know you probably have not even opened the email from the caterer, and we don't have to discuss it or anything in detail right now, but I HAVE to tell you what's going on because either the caterer is on drugs or I am.
David: Ok. What's up?
Kelly: Remember how we decided that we wanted Family-Style Rustic Italian?
David: Yeah.
Kelly: And communicated that very clearly to the caterer?
David: Yeah.
Kelly: Guess what we got instead!
David: What?
Kelly: A buffet menu called "MEXICAN FIESTA!" :::jazz hands:::
David: ....what?
Kelly: A taco bar.
David: What?
Kelly: I know.
David: I don't understand.
Kelly: Me neither.
David: Mexican....
Kelly: Fiesta, yes.
David: But...
Kelly: I know!
David: Well. I see why you had to tell me that right away.
Kelly: I couldn't wait. I mean. MEXICAN FIESTA!
:::pause:::
David and Kelly: :::jazz hands:::

[VelvetElvis]

[Mich]

Hahahahaha! That's one of the best wedding-related-dumb-caterer stories I've heard. And it's also awesome because it doesn't sound like you freaked out or broke down or anything. So good on you.

Are you guys... going to go with Mexican Fiesta? <-- my attempt at :::jazz hands:::

[GS]

I understand that this isn't what you want. But I would be super excited to attend a wedding with a taco bar!

[Young Val]

Every time I think about it I HONESTLY start giggling. It's so preposterous and random. I can't even get mad about it or anything. I mean. MEXICAN FIESTA! It's freaking hilarious!

MEXICAN FIESTA has now become the theme for our alternate universe wedding. There are pinatas and all kinds of other awesome, probably-not-culturally-accurate stuff. Tequila shots instead of champagne toasts! I shall wear a sombrero instead of a veil! And a taco bar. OBVIOUSLY. MEXICAN FIESTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister is legitimately disappointed that we're not going to take the taco bar and run with it.

[GS]

I am firmly on board with your sister.

[VelvetElvis]

I will say that I love taco bars.

[Young Val]

Taco bars are awesome. I'm tempted to DIY one for our rehearsal dinner (if we bother having one, it will probably just be at our apartment or his aunts house. And we may not even have one at that. But TACO BAR!)

[steph]

This whole conversation makes me smile.

[GS]

I think that if you do have a rehearsal dinner, you should turn it into your bizarro wedding.

Sombreros, pinatas and Taco Bar for everyone!

[LilBee91]

I think that if you do have a rehearsal dinner, you should turn it into your bizarro wedding.

Sombreros, pinatas and Taco Bar for everyone!

This. Please.

[VelvetElvis]

Can I pretend his hat is a sombrero?

[steph]

I think that if you do have a rehearsal dinner, you should turn it into your bizarro wedding.

Sombreros, pinatas and Taco Bar for everyone!

This. Please.

Oh my gosh, yes! That's the best idea ever!

[GS]

Mr. Green is dressed for the occasion!

Okay. I am done with the derailment of this thread, but it did decide my lunch for today. TACOS!

[starlooker]

HAHAHA. I LOVE that conversation.

[VelvetElvis]

PWEB: Food and Sex as Discussed by People Who Have Probably Read Ender's Game.

[Noodle]

PWEB: Food and Sex as Discussed by People Who Have Probably Read Ender's Game.

OK, so I'm late to the fiesta, but I love this conversation.

[Young Val]

Secret Favorite Caterers sent in their menu proposal late last night. And they actually listened to our requests!

***

Menu:

Summer Salad - heirloom tomatos, arugula, Reggiano, aged balsamico, Partana olive oil, smoked sea salt

Roasted Breast of Kadejan Chicken - brined/porcini jus

Roast of Minnesota Lamb Leg - rosemary, garlic, thyme, red wine glace

Butternut Squash Ravioli - fresh pasta, vanilla bean-sage butter, crispy parsnip

Sauteed Rapini - garlic, red chili, lemon, olive oil

Artisan Bread Service with olive oil

Coffee Service.

***

It is EXACTLY what we envisioned and looks insanely delicious. Their bid is extremely professional; they broke each menu item down by cost per head, included ALL taxes and service fees in their estimate (also thoroughly broken down and explained) AND included rough rental estimates based on the limited information we provided to them. Their communication has been excellent; the events coordinator is warm and professional and really just all around great to work with. The chef seems to be able to take a vague concept and transform it into something tangible, and has also expressed that he's very willing to make adjustments and changes based on our needs and preferences. Assuming the food tastes good, I'd pick the Secret Favorites in a heartbeat. (They have a FARM where they grow their own organic produce!!!!)

However.

The estimate as it currently stands is over our budget. The food and labor costs and taxes and everything are IN budget. The rentals push us over. But we've got to get plates and forks and wine glasses SOMEWHERE. I'm not convinced it will be any cheaper to rent from a different company (plus this way the caterers clean up everything after the meal, it's included in the service fees) and I don't have the energy to spend the next year scouring thrift stores for plates and knives and spoons and things (which we would then somehow have to collect and clean ourselves, after the meal. No, thank you).


The Mexican Fiesta Caterers came in just under budget BUT did not include any rental estimates in their bid, despite the fact that we clearly asked about rentals. And they were less clear on the taxes/fees/etc. I'm not sure if everything was included there, or if we'll get some surprises on our bill if we go with them. The events coordinater there has been nice, but not very communicative. She never confirms receiving any of my emails or the information (requested information!) that I've sent to her, and needs to be nudged a few times before she'll respond. (And I am not being psychotic about this. I waited two weeks in silence before sending a follow up). I am less than jazzed about that aspect of their customer service, and really feel that they didn't listen to our needs and wants closely or at all. It's just too much money for me to spend and feel like I'm not being heard. Also, they pitched us a taco bar. :::jazz hands!:::

David and I won't have time to discuss this menu in detail until the weekend. We might try to play around with the menu a bit. Much as we LOVE the lamb dish, it's by far the most expensive. We may switch it out for another red meat. See if we can bring the cost down a little bit that way. We'll also need to get a rental estimate from Mexican Fiesta Caterers to see whether or not we're even talking about that big of a price difference between the two, when all is said and done.

We'll probably end up scheduling tastings with both, which means we'll be out around $60 to whichever one we don't go with, but we're ok with eating that cost, because after establishing a positive working relationship (or maybe before!), the way the food tastes is pretty high on our list of importance.


In other wedding news, the envelopes for our Save the Save bookmarks came in today and they are SO perfect. I can't wait to address them all! (and get them out of my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). We still have to buy stamps, but I have FINALLY settled on which ones I want. Since stamps all cost the same anyway, I might as well get cute ones. The traditional wedding ones don't really vibe with us. They're pretty: white flowers, wedding rings, a wedding cake. But they're not really in line with our quirky, colorful, orchard-y, chaotic wedding. So I stumbled on the Garden of Lovestamp series and the search was over. Hopefully we'll get those all mailed out by the first week in November. We'll see. The other day we got a postcard STD in the mail from a couple who got engaged 3 months AFTER we did. I am such a slacker bride.

Re: Bridesmaid dresses: I have fallen hard, hard, head over heels hard in love with the idea of patterned dresses for my girls. Stripes or polka dots. maaaaaaaybe a floral. But stripes or polka dots, please and thank you. While both my sister and my bff are thrilled that I've a) given them more instruction and b) both like the idea of a patterned dress, unfortunately it is apparently very difficult to find such dresses for grown women and not toddlers. Still, we will prevail. I'm sure eventually they'll wish they just took all the freedom I gave them and ran with it, but now I want stripes, damnit!

MY dress: My sister is coming out to visit for four days in early November and has convinced me that we MUST go dress shopping while she's here, to get the first time out of the way so that goign with my mother during Thanksgiving isn't so very traumatic. I am sort of looking forward to it and sort of outof my mind terrified. Ok, mostly out of my mind terrified. I am stalling on making the actual appointments, because I am so scared. But I should just suck it up and do it.

[GS]

That menu sounds amazing! I am a meat eater through and through, but that Butternut Squash Ravioli sounds delicious.

[steph]

Holy cow, that menu is amazing. It sucks that lamb cost so much, since lamb is a very popular meat in Italy.

Also, I LOVE those stamps so much.

[Young Val]

RIGHT!?!?! Ever since I saw the ravioli dish on their sample menu I have been drooling. It sounds incredible.
I cannot WAIT to taste it. Also, yes, the lamb. YUM. We may stick with it anyway and try to cut down costs elsewhere, because, UGH, it sounds so delicious!

Another really interesting part of this whole wedding process is that I am evolving into a more conscious consumer. I've heard the whole "vote with your dollar" thing before, of course. But really, aside from food, I've never been particularly fussed about shopping locally or supporting small businesses. I mean, I'm not AGAINST doing that, but the convenience of big box stores and chains and brands often wins out for me.

With food, we started buying organically/hormone-free/etc because we believe it's healthier and more ethical.. We evolved to buying locally from there, because buying food locally is ofter way, way, way cheaper. But as we'd visit the farmer's market more often and met the people growing and raising our food, I started to care more about supporting THEM. About putting my money back into my local economy. So we joined the co-op grocery store here (David actually ran for the board; the results of the election are tonight! Fingers crossed!) and that further cemented our commitment to buying local.

And now with our wedding, we're spending an outrageous (to us) amount of money on one single event. And I know that our guests, for the most part, won't really care about the food we serve them. They won't care if it's organic or locally grown or hormone free. They might appreciate it if it tastes good, but for the most part they are not going to carry memories of the food we served at our wedding away with them for the rest of their lives. We're serving this type of food because it's the way we live our life, and it would be strange to eat differently at our wedding than we do in our daily lives.

But beyond just the food thing, I've become really excited about where and how we spend the rest of our wedding money, and the ways in which we can support our community through our wedding. (The actual spending of the physical money still freaks me the hell out, but the philosophical implications are nice to contemplate).

I like that we are holding our wedding at a local apple orchard that will be there for years. That we can go there again and again, and take our children there, and pick apples and say, "This is where mom and dad got married." That the money we pay to hold our wedding in this orchard will help keep the orchard around, so that our kids can enjoy it someday. That feels GOOD to me. That's something I'm willing to spend money on.

And I find David and I are making more and more of our wedding decisions that way. Seeking out small local business and really putting all of this money back into our community. Getting the flowers for my bouquet the morning of my wedding at the farmers market. Researching local bakeries in the event the self-made pie idea falls through.

I'm still shocked at spending all this money, but at least I feel good about where we're spending it.

[Eaquae Legit]

[Jayelle]

Menu:

Summer Salad - heirloom tomatos, arugula, Reggiano, aged balsamico, Partana olive oil, smoked sea salt

Roasted Breast of Kadejan Chicken - brined/porcini jus

Roast of Minnesota Lamb Leg - rosemary, garlic, thyme, red wine glace

Butternut Squash Ravioli - fresh pasta, vanilla bean-sage butter, crispy parsnip

Sauteed Rapini - garlic, red chili, lemon, olive oil

Artisan Bread Service with olive oil

Coffee Service.

That's it. Come hell or high water, I'm crashing your wedding.

[steph]

That's it. Come hell or high water, I'm crashing your wedding.

[Young Val]

After plugging all of Mexican Fiesta Caterers figures into an excel sheet, I've discovered they've shorted us in their quote, which is only for 120 guests, though we specifically said 150. When the numbers are corrected for the actual number of guests, the price goes up significantly, and is a lot closer to the Secret Favorite Caterers numbers (because they actually LISTENED and gave us a bid for the correct number of guests!). Mexican Fiestas may even come out higher; the Service Fee charge is approximate and varies depending on the number of guests.

UGH.

This is so irritating.

[Young Val]

I have never hated my handwriting so much as in these last several hours of addressing Save the Dates...

[steph]

Is your penmanship getting worse the longer you address or are you just getting sick of seeing it? Either way, I understand the feeling.

[locke]

Your menu sounds amazing. We're splurging on photographers rather than food. We're having a chicken or fish option and the tasting is next weekend.

speaking of photos, here's some of what our photographers can do...

[Petra456]

They're both amazing but I absolutely LOVE the first one, the expressions on both of your faces is just amazing : )

[Young Val]

Adam, Renee, those pictures are beautiful! You're both beaming!


Save the dates (with a very few exceptions, 5 tops) SENT. Mailed 'em myself today.

And David and I opened joint wedding savings and checking accounts today, rather painlessly. A very positive step, both in wedding-related news, and in Money Talk terms. So far so good.

I have emailed Secret Favorite caterers to set up a tasting with them and tell them how much we love, love, love them and their menu.

Still need to email Mexican Fiestas to also set up a tasting and gently mention all the things they need to correct in their bid to remain a viable option.

Didn't get around to making dress appointments yesterday, so it MUST be done today, no stalling or excuses.

Oh, wedding stuff. You are never-ending.