Wedding Planning!

[VelvetElvis]

Gross.

[LilBee91]

Is it just me or is it rather trashy to attend the bachelor party and not the wedding?

Unless there's some scheduling conflict or extenuating circumstances, it's definitely trashy. Boo on that guy.

[steph]

Confession: I really want to get married at the Stanley Hotel. <~~ nerd.

Not that I don't already love you forever, but I'd totally love you forever for getting married there!!

(I actually was just looking at it this weekend from a mountain top. *sigh*)

P.S. I agree.....trashy.

[fawkes]

Confession: I really want to get married at the Stanley Hotel. <~~ nerd.

Not that I don't already love you forever, but I'd totally love you forever for getting married there!!

I really, REALLY want to, but a hotel in the mountains, in April no less, would be nearly impossible. It would be so cool, though, right?

[steph]

Seriously cool. I went to someone's wedding there when I was a kid. It was amazing. My brother used to be a lounge pianist up there. I love that place.

[Young Val]

Planning a wedding is crappiest thing I've ever decided to do. Everyone I know sucks.

[VelvetElvis]

I was thinking about you today when I walked into the spare bedroom and saw all the wedding stuff in there. I thought, "I should've just boxed all this stuff up and sent it to Kelly!"

[Young Val]

Every day, I wake up wishing I were one of those people who could elope without regretting it for the rest of her life.

Because I would regret it, I know that.

And that is the ONLY thing that has stopped David and I from running down to the courthouse.

Planning my wedding sucks ass. I hate it. I can't believe we have another year of this s*** before we actually get married.

David and I have had our hard emotional conversations, carving out the wedding we want to have, making difficult decisions, and coming together on the same page. And now that it's time to start implementing that vision?

Everybody sucks.

The family land we want to get married on? The family doesn't so much want us to do that. In fact, they emphatically DO NOT want us to do that. To the point where David's mother is offering to pay for the wedding if we'll have it somewhere else (an offer we're not going to accept because we want to pay for the wedding ourselves, and there's no way she can spare any money right now; we know that even if she doesn't).

Sooooo we're back to having no place to have the wedding. Which means we are back to having no set date. And everywhere? Pretty much booked through October 2012 at this point. Swell.

Other s***** things? My friends talking behind my back about how they really don't want to come all the way to Minnesota for my wedding and would skip it if they thought they could get away with it (one of these people is MY OFFICIANT).

Everyone I know (except David, who is my biggest cheerleader, always) telling me that attempting to bake enough pie for 150 guests is impossible and that I'll never be able to pull it off. If I DO pull it off, my pies will probably be terrible, because I'm not a professional. These are the same freaking people who are always up my ass about how I should open a bakery, blah blah blah. Screw them.

And those 150 guests? Everyone is shocked that the guest list is so high. Are we crazy? Do we even know that many people? What the hell are we thinking, inviting all these crazy random people to the wedding? The guest list is waaaaay too high! And then in the same freaking breath it's all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T INVITING YOUR STEP-FATHER'S SECOND-COUSIN'S SISTER'S BOYFRIEND?!?! WHO CARES IF THE BRIDE HASN'T MET HIM AND THE GROOM HASN'T SPOKEN TO HIM SINCE HE WAS FOUR YEARS OLD?!?!?!

Not to mention that the number of people who actually show up probably won't be anywhere near as high as 150 because, as my mother so bluntly said to me, "I hope you don't actually expect a lot of people from the East Coast to show up."

Um, actually? Yes. I do. I do expect people to show up. I know the economy sucks. I know that money is tight and lives are busy. We are trying to get out Save The Dates out a YEAR in advance to give people time to save up money for a plane ticket, and we're specifically requesting no gifts, because we'd much rather have people BE at our wedding then receive something off a registry. Truly, your presence is the best present--corny as it is. I am not stupid. I know my wedding isn't the most important event in the universe. I know that things happen and some people will not be able to make it. And I'll be sad, but I'll understand. But you know what? I fly out East twice a year at least and THEN fly out however many times for people's weddings and baby showers and whatever. So yes. Yes. I do expect people to show up for my freaking wedding. Coming to Minnesota for one damn weekend will not f****** kill you, people.

And those book-page flowers I am slaving over? My labor of love? Apparently they look BORING because they aren't colorful. I should apparently paint them. So I bought some paints and I painted a few. And I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the way it looks. So I plan to keep them plain. And I guess that means my center pieces are going to be boring, then. SO BE IT.

My best friend/bridesmaid is pissed that I won't go dress shopping in Boston. I have explained a thousand times that if I buy a dress in Boston, then I have to fly to Boston for all my fittings! I can't afford to do that! I am buying my dress here. I have said that I would LOVE it if she and my sister and my mother could make a little long-weekend trip out here and that I'd help shell out some cash for them all to get a hotel room and they could come dress shopping with me. I understand if that is not feasible. I can go dress shopping by myself. But DROP THE EAST COAST THING. If you can't afford to fly out here once, how do you expect me to fly out there 3+ times?!?!

Everyone sucks. Everyone sucks. Everyone SUCKS.

[Eaquae Legit]

*super big hugs to Kelly*

I honestly think one of the best parts of our wedding was knowing it was OVER FINALLY THANK GOD. And that I would never, ever do it again. I am so, so sorry people are being awful and unsupportive.

1. Those flowers are freaking awesome! If they need colour, perhaps a bright vase? Actually, I can't believe how much people seem to care about centrepieces. To me they are an obstacle to seeing the other people at my table. We almost didn't have any.

2. I would totally help you bake pies if I could. I think your pies will be delicious, and with all the opposition, I wouldn't blame you if it made you stick to your guns just to spite people. TAKE THAT, YOU PIE-DOUBTERS.

3. People should show up for your wedding! We had family come from both the east AND west coasts, and some from in the distant-middle, too! It's a WEDDING!

4. Thoughts/prayers/good vibes over the venue. So very stressful. HUGS!

5. What is it about weddings that lets people be so judgemental? Ugh.

*many many hugs*

[starlooker]

****So Many Hugs****

Well, you and David do not suck, anyhow, so that's two people involved with your wedding that should be fine.

I love the centerpieces as they are. There are PLENTY of ways you can add a splash of color to the table or centerpieces besides painting them. Good lands. And it won't look boring. It will look elegant. Your people have no imagination.

You WILL find a place that you love to hold your wedding. I guarantee it. The wedding gods will look out for you. You will find a place and, in the end, you will say, "I'm actually really glad it worked out that way."

ABSOLUTELY shop locally for your wedding dress. I wish I'd had my mom able to help me, but I have NO regrets about doing it with my one local friend at the time. Because I could go to the shop and look at it and try it on again whenever I wanted, popping in to do alterations was not a big deal, and I didn't have to worry about getting it to the wedding (other than making sure we had room in our car). Plus, if you DON'T find the dress or a shop you like right away, you can keep looking. There's not the pressure of making a big, huge trip out to the East Coast and feeling like you HAVE to find something that day. (Especially since I have come to the opinion, between you and a friend of mine from Pennsylvania and many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, that East Coast people are INSANE when it comes to weddings/budgets. Frankly, I think you'll probably find Midwestern stores a lot more you-focused and less judgmental and whatnot. This could just be a stereotype. But, anyhow, I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED my store and the people who helped me find my dress. OOOH. Come to Wichita and I'll take you shopping Oh, wait. That totally defeats my "buy locally" spiel.)

Ignore the behind-your-back sniping and ask people who start to tell you about it what so-and-so is saying to kindly knock it off (because do you REALLY need to know that?) or to ask that person to talk to you themselves. I know I had a few friends who had doubts about coming to North Dakota (aka, the middle of NOWHERE, hicksville, do people actually LIVE there?) for the wedding who, by all accounts, had an absolutely fabulous time and wouldn't have missed it for the world when all was said and done. Let 'em grouse now. They probably will come and, when it's over, be very glad they did and conveniently forget that they ever thought about missing it.

And f*** the people who don't believe you can make the pies. Morons.

I do remember getting into a bit of a sticky situation with the guest list, with the person who was primarily helping me put things together wanting me to invite my mom's cousins to the wedding -- who I have never even met, to my knowledge. Fortunately, Mom was very understanding and sort of buffered communication there. And when it came down to it, Mom and I were the ones sending out the invitations, so, again, let 'em grouse if they want to. Basically the lesson in this is, be polite when people suggest you invite various folks, tell them you're still finalizing things, and make sure you and/or someone you trust has final control over the invitations. After invitations are sent, when they ask why so-and-so wasn't invited, make a sad face and say there are so many people you wish you could have invited. And then change the subject.

(Actually, somewhere or another, I read an idea about having an A and B list. A list being the people you definitely want to invite, and B list being people you wish you could invite if you had enough room. Invite the A list people, and then when you start getting people replying that they cannot be there, send invitations to B-list people. Of course, though, that would be hard with save-the-date cards. Hmmm. Possibly a stupid idea. Finalizing how many people are actually going to show is one of the most difficult things.)

It will get better.

[Luet]

*lots of hugs for Kelly*

[steph]

Kelly, your wedding will be amazing and wonderful and YOU and I will personally come slap anyone who is making you feel like crap for your decisions. And then I'll help you bake pies, cuz your pies are going to be delectable and awesome. (And seriously....pie for 150? You could easily get away with 15 pies if you did 10 slices to a pie. That is NOT very many pies. You can totally do it.)

[Gravity Defier]

Um, I don't think those book-page flowers were at all boring. I thought their charm lay in the fact that they were obviously book-pages and the paint would disguise that, which is a shame. Not to mention, neutral base color =! boring; the text was a pattern of sorts that added character.

Now, I have to admit I wondered what they might look like painted but not enough to think they should be painted. I'm also wondering how they'd look if they were dusted with glitter but I know most grown-ups thing it's the herpes of the crafting world.

People are silly. It's still the both of yours day, go with what you want.

[steph]

Um, I don't think those book-page flowers were at all boring. I thought their charm lay in the fact that they were obviously book-pages and the paint would disguise that, which is a shame. Not to mention, neutral base color =! boring; the text was a pattern of sorts that added character.

This. I forgot to mention this same thing earlier.

[Eaquae Legit]

I admit to being curious what they'd look like with the faintest brush of watercolours along the edges of the petals, but that's just because I'm too lazy to do it myself to find out. Like Alea and Steph said, part of the charm of them is that they are made from books! And books are so Kelly! And if that got covered over, it just would not be the same.

[Young Val]

I admit to being curious what they'd look like with the faintest brush of watercolours along the edges of the petals, but that's just because I'm too lazy to do it myself to find out. Like Alea and Steph said, part of the charm of them is that they are made from books! And books are so Kelly! And if that got covered over, it just would not be the same.

That's exactly what I tried! I bought some watercolors, thinned them out considerably, and blended it on just the tips of the petals. Nice in theory, right?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaated it. I can take a picture and show you guys, though.


Plus? I love you all. Thank you so much for making me feel normal and rational and sane.

[Eaquae Legit]

I'd love to see pictures to see if they match what I envision in my mind. But either way, it's your dang wedding and what YOU like or hate is what counts!

[powerfulcheese04]

Oh Kelly! I'm so sorry your wedding planning experience has been so bad! I love everything you've posted about what you guys want to do! It will be beautiful and unique and awesome. I hope the people around your wedding pull their heads out of their asses soon.

[Petra456]

Do you have any ideas on what type of pie you're going to make? I absolutely love the idea of having pie, and love that you're making them!

[VelvetElvis]

Kelly, I know I haven't really responded to your doubts very much, but really, it's because I have such a hard time believing that you could possibly plan a wedding that wasn't fabulous. Tonight or tomorrow I can post some of my wedding photos if you'd like to see a wedding that was practically colorless.

[Jayelle]

*Belated hugs to Kelly*

Boo to all those lame people. I think your ideas sound awesome, too. Clearly they read too many one-size-fits-all wedding magazines.
I think you're amazing for doing a wedding on your own. I was so lucky to have parents who paid for it all.

[Caspian]

Oh good gravy. Wedding planning is stressful under the best circumstances, and it sounds like your circumstances are not being best.

Someone gave me this piece of advice, and it really helped us: "As long as you're married when it's all over, it was a success."

[steph]

*waits for Erica to enter thread*

[fawkes]

*is home* ahem. I am officially engaged!!!!

[fawkes]

*double post, apologies* You guys especially are going to love this: Anthony made a Tardis ring box. And it lights up. Pictures later, promise!

[Gravity Defier]

Congratulations, Erica. :)

[Petra456]

Woo! Congratulations!

[LilBee91]

Yahoo! Congrats!!!

[Young Val]

Congratulations!

[powerfulcheese04]

Congrats, Erica!

[steph]

[VelvetElvis]

Yay!

[locke]

Hey! I can post in this thread now...

[Gravity Defier]

Congrats again, Adam!

[VelvetElvis]

You could've posted in this thread before... it just means more now!