Confessions of a 20-something mother

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Petra456 » Wed May 08, 2013 12:00 am

Mich wrote:New confession! And a meta confession. I feel kind of like a traitor for not picking the trailer apart and just basking in enjoyment that it did, in fact, come out.

Just wanted you all to know. It's not an end of an era or anything like that, and it won't change my own participation here. So I'm just satisfied it's happening. We'll finally know: is such a thing even possible?


So much this. I'm not picking it apart, i'm just flat out excited.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby steph » Tue May 21, 2013 7:05 pm

My cute chubby baby has so many fat rolls that I JUST discovered a birthmark on the back of her leg, above the knee pit. She's 4 months old. What a great mom I am!
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I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby starlooker » Wed May 22, 2013 4:51 am

You absolutely are.

Also, d'awww to chubby roly baby with a birthmark. :)
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Eaquae Legit » Wed May 22, 2013 2:15 pm

I love the little chubbers! :kisses: I want to give them so many smooches!
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby thoughtreader » Wed May 22, 2013 2:25 pm

It feels so strange ton me that I wont be a 20-something mother... I just turned 29 on the 7th and we have no plans to start trying yet. so unless my IUD fails and my PCOS somehow manages to let me ovulate on the next few months and all the stars align... I wont be a 20-something mom. and that just blows my mind a little.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby starlooker » Wed May 22, 2013 7:07 pm

Being a thirty-something Mom is pretty nifty, too.

But, yeah. I know.
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Luet » Fri May 24, 2013 4:21 pm

Today I got my second speeding ticket in a little over a year. Before that, it had been over ten years since I had gotten any ticket. I guess I need to slow down. :oops:
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Eaquae Legit » Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:45 am

I'm somehow becoming the sort of person that tidies up every night and gets annoyed by messes and cluttered counters. What? :shrug:

My mother and every teacher I had in elementary school just experienced a great disturbance in the Force.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Petra456 » Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:29 am

Kind of tied to my post in "Things I love".

Confession:

I can't stand my office mate. She is the ONLY person I work with that just being around her feels like nails on a chalk board. She doesn't need this job and I hope it doesn't work out for her. I feel horrible for feeling this way.
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And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Qing_Jao » Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:21 pm

I totally forgot about this place (or at least forgot to check it) until Alea mentioned something and I caught it on Facebook. I'm really looking forward to the movie and have been geeking out over it.

Also, Thing One read EG for the first time this year. He's really looking forward to the movie, too.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby thoughtreader » Wed Jul 24, 2013 2:08 am

My sister and law (husbands sister) and her family (Husband, Son 7, and Daughter 3 in 2 weeks) came to visit for two days. And she said something that stuck with me and I’d kinda like to vent it out and get your opinions…

She asked me “ are you and Chris going to have kids” Not “when” but “are” as in not assuming that we are but just waiting but wondering if its ever going to happen…. And while people I meet or am not close with might have asked this way before (are) family and close friends have always said “when”

I have always said I want to be a mom and have always wanted to be a mom. Chris has always said he wanted kids and wanted to be a dad. There has been some discussion on whether we should/can have genetic children, but its always been in the context of when we have kids…. If not we adopt.

So anyways it made me think. More and more lately Chris and I have seen children we love (family) or just around and instead of saying things like “when we have kids we will do ‘this’ instead of ‘that’… or we really want to do what they did with there kids” we have been looking at each other and saying “Dogs…. We can just have dogs” and each time we say it, it sounds less like a joke...

So to back to the point, I responded, “I don’t know” … “not yet we still need to get a little more stable” (me having a JOB) “and she said something that surprised me something a long the lines of “you know its ok if you don’t have kids… Having kids is the best thing I’ve done But you and Chris just have a great thing, a great relationship, you can do what you want when you want. You are so happy together… kids will change that and there it nothing wrong with just being people who have dogs”

Now she has 2 kids and she and her husband are thinking of having a 3rd (a huge surprise since he had a vasectomy but apparently they got it reversed!) She asked me my opinion on it and I said “as long as you guys know what your getting into (financially and time wise) and after 2 kids they have a good idea, I said you guys have a great relationship and great kids who are well behaved so having more seems good to me. I asked her what she thought of us having kids “you two will be great parents if you decide to have kids but it will change you relationship and if you change your mind later you can always adopt” so I don’t know…

I think that hopefully in a year or two Chris and I will do the not trying but not preventing thing and to be a little TMI We have sex a lot like at least 5 times a week so if everything is working right we should be able to get pregnant pretty fast…… but then there is the whole PCOS thing so you never know.

And I worry that if we don’t have kids there will be a lot we miss out on. I mean now we will be having friends with kids that we can borrow and give back but what about 30 years from now when we should be having grand kids over for Christmas… Where will we go... who will we spend the time with.

Part of our “we could just have dogs response” is kids are work. Lots of work and we know that. They also cost lots of money. And we have always known that. But we are experiencing it more close hand. And for me its much easier to deal with the stress of the whirlwind of small children visiting when I am closer to the parents (My cousin who grew up down the street from me I can help oh her daughter's worst days… when everything is screaming and her husband is being an unengaged turd… I want to help her and stay and giver her all the breaks I can) but my sister in law and I are less close and I think that might be part of the reason why her kids exhaust me so. Because she exhausts me so as well…

But anyways I really don’t know if I want to have kids anymore… well I do but I don’t know if I will be crushed or broken if it somehow doesn’t happen….

So I don't know it was just a different conversation when it comes to me having kids and yeah what do you guys think.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Luet » Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:25 am

Ever since I was an adult, I never questioned my choice to not have kids. I'm now 36 and am as sure as ever that I have made the right decision and continue to make the right decision, for us. I know that physically and mentally, I don't have what it takes to give a child all that they deserve. Sure, I would do my best, but I don't feel like it would be enough. So, I make do with playing with other people's kids. My husband is incredible with kids. Just lately he said that he finally feels like he is mature enough to handle having a child but he still agrees that he doesn't actually want one of his own. I think you do what feels right for you without feeling pressured either way.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby thoughtreader » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:00 am

Thanks Luet, Its nice knowing you are so certain about your choice. I think a lot of what I wrote was to get it out there, mainly that I'd always been certain I wanted to be a mom and it is just so strange to be thinking otherwise.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Luet » Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:15 am

I think it's fine to be uncertain and to take your time coming to the point where you are certain, one way or another. :)
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Mich » Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:56 am

Luet wrote:I think it's fine to be uncertain and to take your time coming to the point where you are certain, one way or another. :)

Absolutely. Simply said, but really the best way to put it.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby powerfulcheese04 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 9:53 am

I want Lizzy to be here now. I'm only 38 weeks, but I keep secretly hoping when I go to the doctor today, he'll say "surprise! That discomfort is actually early labor, let's have a baby today!"

But then I feel guilty because I know she should cook longer. And I do want my parents to be here, and the earliest they can get here is next Wednesday. (Mom teaches a class Monday night and its a 2 day drive.)

ETA: and I still haven't installed the car seat.
-Kim

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby starlooker » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:29 am

38 Weeks?!?!?!?! ZOMG, SQUEEEEE!!!! SO CLOSE!!!

Erm, sorry. Just, you know. Baby. :) And I hadn't realized you were so far.

The one good thing about planned induction was knowing, "Okay, there is a definite end to this. I'm not going to be hanging around at 42 weeks going, 'Baby? Y U no cooperate?'"
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby LilBee91 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:08 am

Wow. I swear you just told us you were pregnant. Where did the time go? I suppose it probably wasn't quite that fast for you....
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Young Val » Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:21 am

::hugs Kimmie:::
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Dr. Mobius » Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:48 pm

I think I might be slightly dyslexic. I've been reading "Rootersfriend" as "Roosterfried" all this time...
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby powerfulcheese04 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 3:59 pm

Kirsten, I wish I had a planned induction! But I have no medical reason. Just discomfort and convenience ad that isn't good enough for me to ask.

Shannon, its been fast and slow. Sometimes I'm like "holy s*** there's a baby almost here. Can I possibly be ready for this?!" And other times I'm like "you in there, you're evicted. For real. Get out here. We want to meet you!" And sometimes I can't believe august is almost here and other times I feel like I've been pregnant forever.

Kelly, thanks. *hugs back* how's your small fry doing?


In other news, my OB gives me warm fuzzy feelings. He said at the end of my appt today that he's checking every day for me on the list of their patients in labor over at the hospital. :)
-Kim

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Young Val » Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:09 am

Baby is by all accounts doing well. Mama, on the other hand, is not.

But I'm in therapy now, and on an anti-nausea prescription, so those are good things. So far I have had none of the second trimester magic people talk about. I'm supposed to be able to feel the baby move at any time now, but it hasn't happened yet. Our next appointment is at 17 weeks (we're on a bit of a funny schedule since I knew I was pregnant more or less immediately) and we're hoping to find out the sex then, although it may be too early if baby is feeling uncooperative.

Hope Lizzy arrives quickly, safe and sound! I'm so excited for her to meet her awesome parents!
you snooze, you lose

well I have snozzed and lost

I'm pushing through

I'll disregard the cost

I hear the bells

so fascinating and

I'll slug it out

I'm sick of waiting

and I can

hear the bells are

ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby starlooker » Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:11 pm

powerfulcheese04 wrote:Kirsten, I wish I had a planned induction! But I have no medical reason. Just discomfort and convenience ad that isn't good enough for me to ask.


Hee. No, you really don't want one. Knowing when the end would be was the one bright spot in an otherwise miserable experience. God as my witness, I will never have anyone hook me up to Pitocin again.

(Not that it isn't appropriate for other people, different people, different circumstances, follow your doctor's advice, etc. Just that if next time around they want me to deliver early for whatever reason, I can opt for a planned c-section now. I will opt for that over a planned induction. I would rather have neither. [/disclaimer])

So, so, so excited for Lizzy. And so glad your family is going to be there for you!
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Wind Swept » Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:55 pm

Confession: I declined a Facebook friend request from (a woman whom I assume is) Caspian's mother. I hope she's not too broken up about it.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Confessions » Fri Aug 02, 2013 11:52 pm

I feel like I haven't exhaled in years, that I haven't really talked to anyone in years (including Pweb). Since the breakup of my last best friendship, there is so much I've never told anyone, so many rabbit holes. So many things I've kept bottled up.

I caught myself minorly freaking out while driving to a meeting today, checking and rechecking the time, and had to leave hanging out with a friend/love interest because I felt so uncomfortable, worn, anxious.

I was off one of my meds for 2 weeks, and on one hand I feel like I've gotten some things back (like an interest in sex), but on the other hand, I am really messy. Really messy. It takes about a month for it to really be effective, so 3 more weeks of this...
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Gravity Defier » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:18 am

I am a bit surprised (probably shouldn't be) that there are posts on the front page going back to May. (Have we ever been this slow? Guess we're all grown up, now.)
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby LilBee91 » Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:25 pm

I'm going to start working the graveyard shift right after my wedding (or the week of, depending how scheduling ultimately works out). Starting a marriage and only being able to be with each other for a few hours a day really scares me some days.
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.



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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby powerfulcheese04 » Wed Oct 02, 2013 5:27 am

When we got married, Nate and I lived together about a month working opposite shifts. We slept in the same bed buy only spent awake time together on weekends. Then I went back to school 90 miles away for 2 months. He came to visit on weekends. Thrn, he moved to North Carolina. We saw each other my spring break and when he came out to graduation/moving me. For the first almost year, he worked graveyard and I worked days.

Its totally doable! You'll be fine!
-Kim

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Gravity Defier » Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:00 am

Maybe this should go in Bob but whatever.

I am indescribably happy to have Thomas and Josh join zero and I tonight for the movie because already, for the few hours I've been awake today and much of this past week, I have been in various stages of sadness, at times bordering on depression, over the EG movie. Having them around will mean being distracted from all that.

I can't see this movie as an entirely/mostly positive thing. It is lost opportunity, lost friends, loss of an online home. Most of the time, I'm successful in not thinking about it at all and can convince myself things worked out exactly the way they should have. This past week? Blegh. Today will be a success if I don't end up crying at any point.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Luet » Thu Oct 31, 2013 12:14 pm

I understand all that. But try to focus on the positives, the friends and memories you have made. :)
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Mich » Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:17 pm

I'm more nervous for tonight than I was for my last meeting with a prospective employer.
Shell the unshellable, crawl the uncrawlible.

Row--row.

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Gravity Defier » Tue Nov 26, 2013 12:18 am

I feel like being a Youth library employee and saying I'm not a huge fan of doing storytime is tantamount to being a parent who admits their child annoys them and they just can't take it anymore (even though we all know they can and do and aren't alone in feeling that way at times), only I'm not sure I'm not actually alone in this. Not meaning to insult parents, of course, if it can somehow be taken as an insult. I just feel like if I said this to anyone, well, anywhere, I'd be met with a resounding "Sounds like you need to find a new line of work."
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Claire » Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:09 pm

This has not been my favorite month and a half :|

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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Gravity Defier » Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:11 am

Claire wrote:This has not been my favorite month and a half :|


Hope you're doing okay, Claire.
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Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother

Postby Young Val » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:54 pm

David is in bed, sick with what we are desperately hoping is not the flu. I am on the couch in my pajamas, eating raisin bran by the fistful directly from the box and watching action movies on TV. Even though it is the only thing that makes me feel ok these days, I did not shower today. I have been fighting off tears for the last two hours, and am literally sitting here willing myself to go into labor because I just cannot stand being pregnant for one more minute.
you snooze, you lose

well I have snozzed and lost

I'm pushing through

I'll disregard the cost

I hear the bells

so fascinating and

I'll slug it out

I'm sick of waiting

and I can

hear the bells are

ringing joyful and triumphant


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