Confessions of a 20-something mother

[powerfulcheese04]

I think I have friendship cancer rays.

I have had 2 friends diagnosed with cancer in the last 2 months.


Billie Jean was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. The primary tumor was removed but there are 2 inoperable tumors on her spine. Her 7 month-term baby (at diagnosis) was delivered by C-section (at close to 8 months) so she could start chemo and radiation. In this process, she has lost control of her right hand. We're hoping (1) she and her baby live and (2) she regains function of her hand and arm.

Today, my friend Gillian was diagnosed with acute myelogenic leukemia M-5 acute monocytic leukemia... More testing and starting chemo tomorrow. She had abnormal blood work yesterday and a bone marrow biopsy Monday.

Billie Jean is 22. Gillian is 23. I'm just heartbroken.

[VelvetElvis]

I think I have friendship cancer rays.

I have had 2 friends diagnosed with cancer in the last 2 months.


Billie Jean was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. The primary tumor was removed but there are 2 inoperable tumors on her spine. Her 7 month-term baby (at diagnosis) was delivered by C-section (at close to 8 months) so she could start chemo and radiation. In this process, she has lost control of her right hand. We're hoping (1) she and her baby live and (2) she regains function of her hand and arm.

Today, my friend Gillian was diagnosed with acute myelogenic leukemia M-5 acute monocytic leukemia... More testing and starting chemo tomorrow. She had abnormal blood work yesterday and a bone marrow biopsy Monday.

Billie Jean is 22. Gillian is 23. I'm just heartbroken.

f***.

[VelvetElvis]

double posting to share this


And also to confess that I am kind of skeptical of the soulmate theory.

[Gravity Defier]

There's only one soulmate theory? Is that the one that says they do or don't exist?

[VelvetElvis]

That's the only one that coms to mind.

[Jayelle]

I definitely do not believe in soulmates. I think that way of thinking leads to a lot of heartache.

[jotabe]

There are soulmates. But they are made, not born. Over a long time. With effort.

That's my theory, anyway

[LilBee91]

There are soulmates. But they are made, not born. Over a long time. With effort.

That's my theory, anyway

This is pretty much my view. But I guess that's not the actual soulmate theory anyway...

[Young Val]

Every time I get the hiccups I immediately begin to panic, imagining that they will never, ever go away and I will be one of those people who has incessant hiccups for the next 45 years. This is an actual fear of mine. How miserable.

[Gravity Defier]

I have considered the fact that I may never find someone for the long haul and that means I need to know, for myself, if I do or don't want children and whether or not it's responsible, financially or emotionally, to have them on my own if I do. In the process of starting to think about this, I've begun researching artificial insemination. It means I need to decide when to give up on men because if I do want kids, I refuse to have them past a certain age and I fear that, no matter what happens on that front, I'm going to decide I do and be unable to.


I think this is the lamest and craziest thing I've ever found myself thinking.

[Nehali Sophia]

I've fallen off the Couch to 5K bandwagon. I got past Week 4, and then took a trip two weeks ago. I have still not been able to gear myself up for starting the process again.

[steph]

Sometimes, in the back of my head, when no one is posting anything on here, I wonder if everyone is conspiring against me to make me mad that there are no posts so I'll get frustrated enough to post some stuff. I know it's not true, but sometimes, I wonder...

[Jayelle]

I have been too tired/busy/mothery to post lately. *sigh* I'll post again soon, I promise. I just have no brain these days.

I do, however, have a car and that has made life easier!

[Gravity Defier]

I don't conspire, Steph but I don't handle apparent apathy well. Trying to pour posts into this place and watching them completely and utterly fail at sparking anything produced just about the same results as doing nothing for a week, so if it's all the same, I'm going to go find things to do away from the computer and save myself the frustration and mental exhaustion.

[steph]

Yay for the car! And I totally understand no brain.

Alea, I read everything you post, and I'm sorry I don't do a better job at telling you that I appreciate your posts. I appreciate them! I do, I do! I just have never been a big poster. (My post count can prove that!)

[Gravity Defier]

Oh, goodness, no, Steph. I didn't mean I wanted attention.

I was operating under the assumption that any posting begets more posting and was simply hoping, before, that if I just threw stuff out, other people would see activity and then be active themselves.

But very quiet board for going on a month + recent case of trolling + FB activity gave me a big case of the "Why bother?"s.


The Random Speculations posts from the Three Stooges (Jeebs, brain, and Syphon) went a decent way in motivating me, though, so there's that.

[Dr. Mobius]

Sometimes, in the back of my head, when no one is posting anything on here, I wonder if everyone is conspiring against me to make me mad that there are no posts so I'll get frustrated enough to post some stuff. I know it's not true, but sometimes, I wonder...

I can neither confirm nor deny... >.>

[Dr. Mobius]

I think some day when I'm really bored I might go and delete all of a certain douche bag's posts so I won't cringe anymore when I look at the list of top posters.

[Eaquae Legit]

I like it better when people post more and just bump him down to irrelevance.

*eyes Chico's post count meaningfully*

[starlooker]

*raises hand*

Sorry I haven't been around. First I've been off the Internet more because of my New Year's Resolution; second, the Internet connection went out; third, I got really icky sinusy sick and have barely been able to summon enough concentration to watch Star Trek reruns. Will try to do better in the future.

[Gravity Defier]

I think some day when I'm really bored I might go and delete all of a certain douche bag's posts so I won't cringe anymore when I look at the list of top posters.

I can't tell with you lately, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt before I give you an honest to goodness tongue lashing for even considering this.

I mean, you are joking, right?

[mr_thebrain]

i'm assuming he means eriador. i know i was lurking pretty heavy towards the end of his stint here, but i never thought he was that terrible. i mean he may have been a little annoying, but he was not the worst person we've ever had in the forum. even annoying people that just want to up their posts can create conversation, which is something that lately the forum has been needing more and more.

if movies or books had no antagonist they would be dull and never sell.

[Gravity Defier]

I know exactly who he was talking about but that is besides the point. I don't think it is within any mod's right (and he's admin for the new site, not a forum mod) to just start deleting posts (or editing them, or otherwise messing with members both past and present) for no good reason. If it is one of the very rare and few that breaks a rule, it's one thing but abuse of mod power is one of those things that pisses me off like no other.

[mr_thebrain]

that's not what i was saying. i actually agree with your point of view on that matter GD. I was actually just saying that because i wanted to say something about eriador because i was assuming that's who he was meaning.

P.S. i'm sorry you think i'm scary

[zeroguy]

I think some day when I'm really bored I might go and delete all of a certain douche bag's posts so I won't cringe anymore when I look at the list of top posters.

I know it's been said, but please don't do this. Having been in positions where not abusing such power has made things work... seeing how casually some people do this (elsewhere) really pains me.

[ender1]

I think some day when I'm really bored I might go and delete all of a certain douche bag's posts so I won't cringe anymore when I look at the list of top posters.

I know it's been said, but please don't do this. Having been in positions where not abusing such power has made things work... seeing how casually some people do this (elsewhere) really pains me.

Am I the only one who took this as a joke? Weird.

[zeroguy]

I used to, before I found out some people aren't joking when saying things like that.

[Gravity Defier]

P.S. i'm sorry you think i'm scary

I'm not; it's part of your shtick. "Hey, it's brain, that guy who is scary but not scary!"

Which is even better when Steph calls you Joshy.

[starlooker]

I'm NOT pregnant. We're not trying right now. Let me please make that perfectly clear. I swear, I cannot go a week without someone checking in on whether I'm pregnant or making plans to be. And I mean people whose business it definitely is not.

All the same, I'm lately falling asleep imagining things I can make to decorate our baby's room someday. I have a great idea for a very long-term project above the bookcase involving all kinds of book characters, with Splat and Kitten in the center. And I'm buying an embroidery pattern I love of a baby in it's mother's arms to work on if/when I get pregnant. Whenever that elusive time shows up.

Stupid money situation. If Donny's work situation were better and I could pay off a few debts faster and we could move into a bigger place quicker, I'd be a lot happier and feel a lot closer to being ready to try.

[Eaquae Legit]

I know (a little) how you feel. I'm not quite there yet, but we have a small and growing collection of children's books we love. *hugs*

[Dr. Mobius]

God damn, Satya's right, you guys need to chill out. It was just an idea that's been floating around in the back of my mind for at least a couple years. I'd never actually do it.

...And now I need to go wash my mouth out with battery acid for saying "Satya's right."

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: I don't follow celebrity news nearly as much as I did once upon a time, so it was news to me to learn Natalie Portman is pregnant and engaged. Honestly, this disappointed me. I somehow got it in my head that she wasn't interested in that sort of traditional lifestyle and it made me feel a bit better knowing that if I can't have that, I'd have been in good company. So...now I'm back to being freakish. Exciting.


Confession: A part of me wants Her (any her, really, but since he gave me a Her to focus on, I will) to be interested. Part of me aches for the complete freedom that moment of heartache would open up, not to mention that glorious moment, months later, when I would wake up and that ache would be unexpectedly gone, filled by a sense of growth (and disinterest). That part of me thinks it'd be a blessing in disguise, a way to cut loose from someone who doesn't need or necessarily even want me around and where, some days, the frustration runs so high that the only thing holding me in place is a sense of loyalty.

There are days when that part of me asymptotically approaches 100%, others when it asymptotically approaches 0%, and the rest of the time when it falls somewhere in between those two poles. If we averaged that out, well, it'd be an unhelpful figure but if we went with the modal percentage, the picture would clear up...and the result would be I want that less than I don't want that. However, the point of this whole thing really is, even if that part of me is on the low side percentage-wise, it is still a non-zero number and maybe admitting and acknowledging as much is a good place to start.

Confession: There's a pun in there that made me giggle way too much.

[Luet]

Confession: I've never seen Dr. Who in any version. And thus, I've never been in the Dr. Who thread because I don't want to read spoilers in case I ever do see it.

[LilBee91]

Confession: I've never seen Dr. Who in any version. And thus, I've never been in the Dr. Who thread because I don't want to read spoilers in case I ever do see it.

I do this too.

Confession 1: I get annoyed at stupid people whenever I read comments on Digg.

Confession 2: This has not stopped me from reading them.

[Luet]

It sounds weird to me when people that I don't know well on here call me Nomi. It doesn't bother me but the only people IRL that call me that are my family members and childhood friends.