Confessions of a 20-something mother

[zeroguy]

I do not see being in the top ten as a good thing.

Why is it a bad thing?

Why can't it just be what it is? You have something to say, so you say it. That's neither good nor bad, in my oh so humble opinion.

Um, do you see anything strange with this post? "I do not see it as a good thing" "I see it as neither a good thing nor a bad thing." Heh.

But it's probably a bad sign for me specifically; I spend more time here than I really can spend here. I mean, look, it's 4:30 and I'm posting.

[Dr. Mobius]

Could be worse.

Could be a WoW addict.

>_>

[Gravity Defier]

I have a math boyband. Their first performance will be next week for the whole school. Ha.

[zeroguy]

If they're anything like the Klein Four Group, they have my full support.

So this isn't completely off topic or whatever, confession: I largely determine how much I know about mathematics (as in, discrete stuff) based on how many puns I get in that song. There's still a lot I don't get; I wonder if I ever will.

[steph]

*My self-esteem is directly attached to the ability to feed my baby.*

I don't have much self-esteem right now.

[Gravity Defier]

If they're anything like the Klein Four Group, they have my full support.

That's awesome. My bunch on the other hand are a bunch of 13-14 y.o. boys...they're not quite that advanced.

[Luet]

Aww, I'm so sorry steph. Did Tyler have trouble nursing too? Or is it just Brayden? Do you have a lactation consultant at your disposal for advice or just encouragement? *hugs*

[Eaquae Legit]

*My self-esteem is directly attached to the ability to feed my baby.*

I don't have much self-esteem right now.

*hugs* I was one of those babies. I refused to gain weight breastfeeding, and my mom had to switch to formula. I should ask her if she remembers being upset by it, or if she had any coping strategies.

But most importantly, just remember that you are more than just the one thing. There are lots and lots of awesome things about you.

[Amka]

Hey Steph,

Just think, when we all think back to our moms, is it how they fed us as babies that makes us admire them? Breastfeeding is wonderful, yadda, yadda but more important is the snuggling, the gazing into the eyes, that connection you make when you play with them and teach them that they are creatures who are loved. They have no idea about breastfeeding vs formula. They just know their mommy loves them.

[steph]

*Baby poop has never made me more happy than just now*

Thanks for all the support, guys. I've been working with a Lactation Consultant, taking every pill, drinking every concoction, feeding non-stop, and my production has stayed low enough that Brayden didn't poop for over a week. He just pooped, so I'm feeling better about things. I may still need to supplement, but I'll feel better about it when I can make the decision rationally! You guys are the greatest!

[Confessions]

I suck.

A lot.

[Eaquae Legit]

I wrote a damn good grant application this year and I'm trying SO hard not to get my hopes up.

[Oliver Dale]

I hate the Heroes thread.

[daPyr0x]

Confession: This past year has been the biggest learning experience of my life. Almost every aspect of my life has changed drastically, for better or for worse. And yet, if I could forget all of it, every minute that I have had, I would.

It's not that I want to go back a year (2 would be nice, though...); merely that the most positive thing to happen to me in the past year is buying rims for my car....Whoo. I could do without that.

[starlooker]

My confidence and self-esteem are pretty much gone these days. I'm supposed to work on selling myself for interviews, and all I can think of are the multiple arenas in which I fall short.

[Rei]

I have two major papers due in the next month for which I have not picked topics.

[RandomMaker]

If they're anything like the Klein Four Group, they have my full support.

Thank you for pretty much making my life by introducing that to me. Someday, someday I'm going to understand all of the funny parts of it.

I might have to buy their CD.

[Young Val]

Sometimes I think I gained the weight on purpose, so that I wouldn't have to worry that people were rejecting me because of who I was instead of how I looked.

Now that it's gotten to the point where I don't really care about who's rejecting me or why--I'm sort of kicking myself.

Losing weight is hard!

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: After four years here, it is still ridiculously easy for certain (groups of) Pwebbers to make me feel completely nonexistent and/or unimportant. I haven't decided which is the worse feeling.

[Luet]

On a related (to Kel's confession) note, I've realized that my current weight is now fairly voluntary because I like it and don't want to go back to have curves and a chest (for reasons involving physical violations). It has proven beyond me to gain weight and get back to normal. I come up with all kinds of excuses to myself to not eat...mostly that it's too much effort.

But tomorrow starts vacation and eating out and no effort for food, so here's to gaining some weight and getting back into some old clothes!

[zeroguy]

Confession: whenever I see the :P smilie (or variants), I think of an ex; because she's the only person I know who would actually stick her tongue out in similar situations. (Or at least the only person I seem to have noticed...)

[Eddie Pinz]

Confession: After four years here, it is still ridiculously easy for certain (groups of) Pwebbers to make me feel completely nonexistent and/or unimportant. I haven't decided which is the worse feeling.

I feel you here. I've been here 6 years and I still feel the same way sometimes.

[steph]

Confession: After four years here, it is still ridiculously easy for certain (groups of) Pwebbers to make me feel completely nonexistent and/or unimportant. I haven't decided which is the worse feeling.

I'm with you, girl. In fact, I remember PM's I've written to you about the subject because I was feeling so left out. Thanks for listening to those, by the way. I, for one, think you exist and are very important! Love ya, babe!

[starlooker]

*confession*

When all the already skinny women in my department went on weight-watchers, I nearly went insane with resentment and hits to my own self-esteem.

I always felt so completely out of it and worthless when they would talk about food and dieting. Because it's like, if you think you need to lose weight, what must you think of me?

And I resent that because I really would like to like my body, height, mass, volume, and all.

On the one hand. On the other hand, if my ADHD medication does nothing for my symptoms but keeps me losing weight, I ain't gonna change it. Because I secretly want to be accepted among the pretty pretty princesses who represent all the people throughout my childhood and adolescence and early adulthood who rejected me.

[BonitoDeMadrid]

Confession: After four years here, it is still ridiculously easy for certain (groups of) Pwebbers to make me feel completely nonexistent and/or unimportant. I haven't decided which is the worse feeling.

I feel you here. I've been here 6 years and I still feel the same way sometimes.

Same, only I've been here for about a year and I feel the same way a lot.

[zeroguy]

I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep in numerous days (usually it's been closer to 5). I will not tonight, either.

I don't deal with death very well. I'm not sure how to fix that.

[Mich]

Confession: After four years here, it is still ridiculously easy for certain (groups of) Pwebbers to make me feel completely nonexistent and/or unimportant. I haven't decided which is the worse feeling.

I feel you here. I've been here 6 years and I still feel the same way sometimes.

Same, only I've been here for about a year and I feel the same way a lot.

I was going to post a confession about this about a month back, but forgot to. Is it just because it's fall?

[Gravity Defier]

No, not because it's fall. I feel this way year round. Comes and goes, and not by season.

[Eddie Pinz]

Confession: I hate that the little icon in front of each thread shakes when a thread gets a certain amount of posts. It annoys the hell out of me.

[fawkes]

I wonder if anybody would even notice if said something shocking? Probably not, since all my other posts in the last few months have gone completely ignored. I shouldn't think too much of it, though, since if you don't belong to the 'clique' of old p-webbers, what you say doesn't matter. Why do I keep coming back here? No one cares about me. I read what other people say, and I care about them, and what happens, but why should I bother? No one even wished me a happy birthday. But why should they? I don't matter. I haven't been around long enough for my presence to even be noticed. Only a year. Not nearly long enough.

Screw this. I'm so tired of being ignored. I doubt anyone will read this anyway.

[Mich]

As should be evidenced by the past few posts, you aren't alone, Anty.

[Claire]

I wonder if anybody would even notice if said something shocking? Probably not, since all my other posts in the last few months have gone completely ignored. I shouldn't think too much of it, though, since if you don't belong to the 'clique' of old p-webbers, what you say doesn't matter. Why do I keep coming back here? No one cares about me. I read what other people say, and I care about them, and what happens, but why should I bother? No one even wished me a happy birthday. But why should they? I don't matter. I haven't been around long enough for my presence to even be noticed. Only a year. Not nearly long enough.

Screw this. I'm so tired of being ignored. I doubt anyone will read this anyway.

I've had four birthdays here and no one has ever wished me a happy birthday on PWEB. You just have to learn not to take it personally.

[Young Val]

Confession: Now I feel guilty for ignoring everyone. And I'm annoyed that I feel guilty.

Confession: Dating is so MANIC. I'm exhausted after just three text messages. I don't think I'm good at this anymore. It's been years.

[neo-dragon]

I wonder if anybody would even notice if said something shocking? Probably not, since all my other posts in the last few months have gone completely ignored. I shouldn't think too much of it, though, since if you don't belong to the 'clique' of old p-webbers, what you say doesn't matter. Why do I keep coming back here? No one cares about me. I read what other people say, and I care about them, and what happens, but why should I bother? No one even wished me a happy birthday. But why should they? I don't matter. I haven't been around long enough for my presence to even be noticed. Only a year. Not nearly long enough.

Screw this. I'm so tired of being ignored. I doubt anyone will read this anyway.

I notice you. I think it's cool that you like anime/manga and Firefly. I even sent you that song from an FMA music video, remember? (so if nothing else, you got that out of being here ). I also thought that you looked cute dressed as a pirate in picture that you posted way back when.

I hope that counts for something.

[KennEnder]

Screw this. I'm so tired of being ignored. I doubt anyone will read this anyway.

Heck, not only did I read this, I LEARNED something! There's a separate Birthday list (and I'm not even on it)!

Maybe you needed to take drastic action, but you're obviously read and cared about... although I must say, all the people writing about how ignored they feel is very distressing. Is PWeb really so cold? I certainly hope not. But then, I'm not exactly Mr. Active Pweb anymore (although I have been much more active recently, it's true--that's subject to change as soon as I take off on another trip somewhere).