Confessions of a 20-something mother

[Eddie Pinz]

I am making a real effort to stop typing with so many damn ellipses. Pretty much for the last 6 years I have used them when posting or IMing and I'm not sure why. I don't remember why it started or why I still do it. In fact, it got to the point where I would do it without even noticing I was doing it. The funny thing is, it is hard to stop doing. I thought it would be relatively easy, but that's not the case. So, if you see me posting with ellipses, yell at me. Where is the Grammar Nazi when I need him or her (or it)???



P.S. There was many an ellipse I had to go back and delete when writing this post. Ha.

[Jayelle]

I gotta admit, they always kinda bothered me...

[Young Val]

God, I love me some ellipses It's the punctuation I'm most frivolous with. I am more frustrated by those who use en and em dashes incorrectly.

[Eddie Pinz]

I know what you mean Jayelle. I never really noticed how annoying it was until I started to go back and try to read some of my longer posts. They were all over the place.

And Val, I love ellipses and they definitely have their place, but putting them after every sentence is just not cool.

[Eddie Pinz]

Confession: I am double posting.

Real Confesion: I feel like I am a junior in high school again. That was when I was the most invovled with Pweb. I would be online all the time and constantly refresh Pweb in the hopes that someone would post to keep me entertained for a little. I am now at work doing the same thing. Somehow Pweb is not blocked by the filters, and is my only entertainment all day.

[v-girl]

Pweb has certainly seen us grow up a lot. I remember when half my posts were *giggles* and the other half were full of intense teenage drama.

[starlooker]

I, starlooker, do solemnly swear that I shall yell at Eddie Pinz (aka Great Saiyaman) should I see improperly used ellipses in any of his posts.

God, I have so much respect for you for admitting that you have a problem and seeking help.

*glowers at frivolously used ellipses*

If I hadn't had the completely negative experience with the professor who could not write more than five words without them -- literally! -- they wouldn't bother me. In fact, I used to use them myself. However, that experience has scarred me. I abhor ellipses used for anything other than to indicate that words have been deleted.

Seriously... his writing... was like this... in one half hour lecture with slides... I once counted... forty two... of the damn... things.

When you're trying to read the notes for the purpose of learning, that makes subvocalizing very difficult.

[Rei]

I find it's equally bad when people write ellipses like this.... Or worse, like this.....

[Young Val]

Technically, placing four dots at the end of a sentence is grammatically correct. If you end a sentence in an elipsis, you must also still punctuate with a full stop--a period. This led to the debate over whether or not ellipses should have spaces between the dots (". . .") or not ("...") which has never been definitively resolved. Either way, if an ellipsis appears at the end of a sentence, four dots is proper.

[Rei]

How odd. I suppose I can accept that, so long as the person doing it is not doing it because they think it's supposed to be <insert random number here> dots long.

[Grammar Nazi]

*bellows incomprehensibly at Ed*

[Amka]

I'm not sure if this should go in the personal triumphs thread or not.

Today I made caramel fudge. So I could eat a lot. It was my first try at real, old fashioned fudge and it was very grainy.

Also, I put 2 yr old toddler boy to bed in a garden spider costume, because he fell asleep on the couch after having missed a nap and and then split his lip after he fell off the chair he'd pulled to the counter to get some food he wanted there.

[BonitoDeMadrid]

Confession: Wow, I just realised how beautiful my life are. So great. It could be so much worse.. And to think I wanted to end that.

...but then again, I'm in the hardest time of life, so it's pretty obvious I have those feelings, from time to time.

[Mich]

Confession: I always feel guilty when I post goofy confessions, while other people are confessing, you know, real ones.

Confession: I create elaborate horror/survival stories/scripts in my head if I'm bored at a stop light or checkout lane. I imagine backgrounds of all of the characters around me, why we're representative of the cliched "all walks of life" group, who would die, why we're surviving, etc.

[v-girl]

Confession: I didn't leave my apartment at all today. I didn't even go to church. I got up and took a shower and got ready, and then put my pajamas back on and started studying. I haven't seen another person today. Weird! At least I talked to my mom on the phone for a little bit.

[Eddie Pinz]

I am glad that people are willing to help me through the tough times of this addictive problem. I am also glad the Grammar Nazi bellowed at me. It made me giggle.

Confession: I think I may be falling in love. I have never felt this way about anyone before. We have talked about we both feel and the fact that this relationship seems to be moving along so quickly. I think it is because we were friends for a couple years before we were together. Nonetheless, I am utterly scared s*** less.

[Young Val]

Confession: Ever since I started singing again I've been slightly less depressed. The songs I sing are invariably Musicals or early 90's.

[Eaquae Legit]

I really hate the "What are you listening to?" thread. If I could arbitrarily delete just one thread from pweb forever, that would be it.

[Luet]

I hate it too but I just never go into it.

[vendor]

I'm not sure if I've ever posted here.

Confession: I find myself at times entertaining thoughts of divorcing my wife. I feel especially guilty because we just celebrated our four year anniversary and made a big deal about it. It was very special.

Nobody has cheated or planning to.

Five months ago my wife encouraged her brother and his girlfriend to move into our house. They lost their jobs in Sacramento, CA and couldn't pay rent. They were evicted and needed a place to go. They are both 21 yrs old.

I made the usual ground rules (be employed, stay employed and/or move out). Come to find out, he lost his job because his employer finally did a background check and found that he was a convicted felon and had various warrants out for his arrest. Oh, and he owes roughly a half a million to the city of Sacramento. He refuses to look for work because he's afraid of another background check and she refuses to look for work at all. All they do is play video games ALL DAY.

They say they want to get married, but they can't because if they did, Sacramento could seize her accounts and garnish her wages as well (not that she has a job). Their presence in my home is costing me at least $1,000 more per month.

My wife refuses to evict them because he's family. My wife says that we can't evict the girlfriend because they're just too close and they want to get married. I know that if I went behind her back and obtained a court order of eviction, then she would HATE me FOREVER and NEVER forgive me. I LOVE my wife. I don't want to lose her.

If I made an "anonymous" call to Sac PD she'd of course know it was me. I don't want to be harboring criminals for the rest of my life either.

They have no initiative to do household chores and at times they refuse altogether. I have tried so hard to find positive solutions, but can't. My wife knows my feelings regarding her brother and girlfriend, but she doesn't know I am contemplating divorce. This has been such a strain on our relationship.

This looks more like venting than a confession....random ellipses ....anyone want to play relationship therapist?

[Luet]

Since you invited comments, I will, tho usually we refrain from doing so to people's confessions...

Have you considered marriage counseling? Is that something that you have insurance or the finances to cover? Would your wife be willing? It sounds like you both could use help communicating your real feelings and needs with each other to better understand where the other is coming from.

My husband and I will be married 10 years next month but a year ago I wasn't sure if we were going to make it at all. It's amazing how much can change when you are both willing to really work at it.

Feel free to start a thread about this if you want to invite more comments and/or discussion since some people might not wander in here.

[Rei]

I accidentally made chocolate orange juice instead of chocolate milk, today. Fortunately I was suspicious of the colour in the dim lighting and checked the carton before trying some.

[Wind Swept]

Confession: It took me much too long to realize where Mich's avatar is from.

[BonitoDeMadrid]

Confession: It took me much too long to realize where Mich's avatar is from.

Where is it from?

Confession: I could be getting addicted to Rock music, which I hate, and it bothers me. I like some good songs- like FFVII's One Winged Angel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5st0b3l ... ed&search=) and some more- but I hate most of those songs. And yet I sometime can't stop drumming with my fingers (though, I'm not very good at it). I hope this period in my time passes soon.

[starlooker]

In our department, I've gotten so used to eating "s*** sandwiches" that I cannot hear a positive compliment without flinching, waiting for the negative one that is really the point of the conversation.

Which is why having my on-site, non-departmental supervisor tell me today that I am, in fact, "good material" after a week of having several professors in the department completely tear my ego to shreds (always preceded by a general but accurate compliment) may have saved me.

*confession*

It's a sharp, steep downward spiral. I had forgotten that. Amongst other things.

There's an upward spiral, too. But I'm not there yet.

[Young Val]

Confession: I don't remember the graphic in the upper left corner of the page from any other incarnation of pweb. It looks like Voldemort.

[leshea]

Confession 1: This is the first post I've made anywhere on the internet, unless you count the two or three wall posts I've done on facebook.
Confession 2: I've never downloaded AIM, not even when I was 13 and everyone was doing it. At the time, no one cared enough to ask for my screen name.
Confession 3: I get more emails from yahoo groups that I never contribute to than I get from people I actually know and want to hear about.
Confession 4: I'm 19 years old and have never been kissed or had a significant other.
Confession 5: I like book characters more than real people because they can go away for an indefinite period with no hard feelings.
Confession 6: I don't like talking to more than one person at a time.
Confession 7: I always feel like my mother is negatively comparing me to my younger sisters and their bubbling little social lives. (see #6)

[neo-dragon]

Welcome to Pweb, leshea!

[Confessions]

I've been doing it pretty regularly this week. I'm very ashamed and don't know what to do. I wish I'd never started. I wish I'd stopped. I wish I were stronger. Except that I don't really want to stop. I'm very torn about it.

I can't bring myself to tell my friends. I'm scared. I want to break up with my boyfriend so he won't find out and we won't have to talk about it. I'd rather have my secret than my relationship.

I am a little bit scared of myself these days. I spent the day thinking about what it would be like to kill myself. I'm not going to do it, I promise, no worries, and I wish I weren't thinking about it. It reminds me too much of previous bad times.

I thought I was done with this sort of thing. I wish I had been right.

[starlooker]

Last night, I started brushing my teeth with facial hair remover. The tip of my tongue was actually slightly numb for a little while. Ew. Just... ew. Of course, the second I tasted it I spit it out and rinsed like crazy, but still. Nasty.

I have lost one of my rec letters. It was RIGHT HERE two seconds ago and I can't find it anywhere. I haven't left this room, or this chair even. Oh. My. God.

[starlooker]

I have highlighting and notes all over Chapter 10 of my career counseling book. I read it to prepare for comps. Coincidentally, it is the assigned reading for tomorrow.

I have to read it again. I don't remember a single thing from it.

Drat. That just seems so unutterably unfair.

*EDIT

And, I discovered, had I read this particular chapter right before Orals, it would've been so much easier not to make an idiot of myself.

[Mich]

Confession: It took me much too long to realize where Mich's avatar is from.

Confession: This made me unbelievable happy!

It's from Psychonauts, a sweet game by the awesome Tim Schafer. The turtle in question is the pet of one of the henchmen of the main bad guy, I believe. It's been too long... but I kept it because he is one of the more endearing characters, and turtles have become my call-sign.

Maybe I got a little too excited from that.

[Confessions]

I feel invisible in every imaginable way: online and in person, with friends and strangers alike.

[Confessions]

I am so uncomfortable with my body. I would give up a lot just to lose five pounds.

[daPyr0x]

Confession: I wish I would die. No, that's not the emo boy in me crying with my mom's razor blade held perpendicular to my wrist. In some ways, though, I do. I wish some sort of freak accident or health concern would come and pull me into the hell I have earned myself a spot in (cuz there aint no way I'm goin anywhere near heaven). I wish I could trade with my dad.

I feel like such a lump. I do nothing with my life, with my time. I go to work, put in my 8 hours, and come home. That's it. My job isn't going anywhere special. It's a steady 40+ hours a week at less than double minimum wage (which isn't anything bad, don't get me wrong - just not nearly where I'd like to be or like to be heading), and no real chance of going anywhere 'up'. I can't quit because I can't afford to take in less money, so I just go through my work day as I do. I have no real hobbies to fill my spare time, no work on improving myself in any sense of the word, no drive to any career in my future; just a bullshit plan to go back to school which I know I won't end up doing.

I feel like my dad could do so much with another 20 years that I couldn't possibly achieve. And I feel like my little brother would be a better person having him around for that time.
And strange as it may be to say, his welfare is more important to me. Despite the obvious grief losing me in such a manner would give him, I can't begin to think it would affect him remotely near how my dad does, nor could it be nearly as negative.

But really, I'm putting far too much thought into it.
If it could be, would be...
Then I'd be dead already, what the f*** do I care about anything after that? I'm dead...

Confession: I really don't care if this maybe should have gone into bob; if you can't understand why it's here then you can bite my shiny metal ass.