Confessions of a 20-something mother

[LilBee91]

Confession: After watching Hangover last year, I got this sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be one of those awful, bitchy, nagging, never happy, never trusting, clingy type of girlfriends who is hated by all the guy's friends and I'm not going to realize I'm doing it/am as bad as I am.

This is also a concern of mine.


Confession: I am secretly wishing horrible wedding planning luck on a couple so they will have to delay their wedding a significant amount of time.

And I don't feel as bad about it as I know I should.

[Luet]

Confession: I am SO sick of being the confidante of my mom about all of her marital problems with my stepfather. He has terrible physical and mental problems and I feel really bad for both of them but it's such a burden to hear every detail of every fight. I kept recommending that she get a therapist and one day she told me "Why do I need one when I have you?". Sigh.

[Dr. Mobius]

I totally did not think the latest newbie was a giberish bot at first glance. Nope, not me. >.>

[zeroguy]

Example, we had a coworker who is Russian, and though he's lived in the US for most of his life still missed out on important cultural things. He didn't know what the word "rogue" meant, and we all jumped to Han Solo as the definitive lovable rogue. Of course, having never seen Star Wars, Han Solo wasn't a good example, and we were all stumped after that.

That's your only reference for "rogue"!? Obviously Xenocide is a much more common shared experience, isn't it?

<Bound to him. Like my people. Except you have free will. Independent philote. Rogue people, all of you.>
"She's making a joke," whispered Ender. "Not a judgment."
Valentine was grateful for his interpretation. The visual image that came with the phrase rogue people was of an elephant stomping a man to death. It was an image out of her childhood, the story from which she had first learned the word rogue. It frightened her, that image, the way it had frightened her as a child.

[Claire]

I think I'm getting addicted to coffee. Coffee shops are the only place I can get wireless, and so I spend way too much time in them.

[Luet]

Do they have decaf?

[Claire]

Now that I think about it, I don't know! Its certainly not on the menus though.

[Noodle]

I am bad, like REALLY bad, at small talk. I should take a class or something I just suck at it so bad.

[Eaquae Legit]

I am bad, like REALLY bad, at small talk. I should take a class or something I just suck at it so bad.

If it's not about food, I'm pretty bad at small talk. Food is one of the few things I can connect about.

[Noodle]

I'm bad enough that i can barely manage a hello. I'm also often oblivious to the most obvious things. For example, today in the halls at a client location, I was asked what the weather was like outside. I had *just* walked through the door and had to turn around and look outside to remember what it was like.

If it's raining or snowing on me and I'm wet because of it, I'll remember, but if it's just hot, or windy, or otherwise not impacting me directly while we talk, I'm oblivious.

I also always get the "Hello, how are you?" question, and I never remember to say "I'm doing good, how are you?" I usually answer the self centered way and say "good" and go on about my business.

Fundamentals.

[Eaquae Legit]

That just makes me want to meet you in person more. Heehee.

[LilBee91]

I'm bad enough that i can barely manage a hello. I'm also often oblivious to the most obvious things. For example, today in the halls at a client location, I was asked what the weather was like outside. I had *just* walked through the door and had to turn around and look outside to remember what it was like.

If it's raining or snowing on me and I'm wet because of it, I'll remember, but if it's just hot, or windy, or otherwise not impacting me directly while we talk, I'm oblivious.

I also always get the "Hello, how are you?" question, and I never remember to say "I'm doing good, how are you?" I usually answer the self centered way and say "good" and go on about my business.

Fundamentals.

Story of my life right there.

[Noodle]

if you enjoy awkward social skills? I'm your man.

Though it's possible since I "know" you better than your average stranger, I'd be a little more open face to face.

Speaking of which, it really annoys me when people say stuff like "My IRL friends" vs. "My Online Friends." Maybe not so much anymore, but at one point I had better friendships with some of the people on PWeb than my "IRL friends." "Online friendships" are no less real than face to face ones, and recently with my relationships that developed on twitter and have culminated with becoming "IRL friends" the lines have been severely blurred for me.

In some ways, I know my online friends better than my face to face ones. Something about the medium of the written word that opens a person up and accelerates friendships in a way that's nearly impossible to replicate in oral conversations.

[Noodle]

Story of my life right there.

There's somebody else out there with my affliction? huh.

[neo-dragon]

In some ways, I know my online friends better than my face to face ones. Something about the medium of the written word that opens a person up and accelerates friendships in a way that's nearly impossible to replicate in oral conversations.

I know what you mean.

I also frequently suck at small talk although sometimes I can pull it off. Also, while having a one-on-one conversation while standing I get self-conscious about my stance and body language. In my head I'll be like, "Am I turned to the side slightly? Does that make it look like I'm trying to leave? If I cross my arms does that look like I'm stand-offish? etc."

Social interactions are awkward. Thank God for the internet. I'm like ten times more charming and witty online

[Gravity Defier]

Speaking of which, it really annoys me when people say stuff like "My IRL friends" vs. "My Online Friends."

Yes. The term "real life" in that sort of context bothers me to no end. I use meatspace to differentiate between happenings online and happenings here where I live but I don't see one as any more real than the other.

Something about the medium of the written word that opens a person up and accelerates friendships in a way that's nearly impossible to replicate in oral conversations.

For me, online works better because it gives me time to really stop and think, which is just how I work. Speaking with someone either face to face or on the phone makes me feel rushed and unsure of myself.

I feel safer in writing than I do otherwise. Speaking just feels so...confrontational.

[VelvetElvis]

I know you will all be shocked to learn this ... I am painfully awkward to be around.

[Jayelle]

I have a tip about small talk: Do not talk about your medical problems or family tragedies with complete strangers!!

I had a woman approach me in Tim Horton's yesterday to tell me how adorable and well-behaved my girls were, which was nice. She asked their ages, she told me that her granddaughter worked there. It was all good. But! Then she launched into how her diabetes was acting up, how she had a son who died... and I'm like "Listen, I met you 3 seconds ago. I have no idea how to respond to that." All I could do was nod until she went away.

Also: Yay for well-behaved kids, but I'm not sure it's that unusual for a 3 year old to be able to eat a cheese croissant. Three different old ladies approached me to say how good the girls were and how good of an eater Ginny was being. Kinda funny, really.

[Noodle]

I have a tip about small talk: Do not talk about your medical problems or family tragedies with complete strangers!!

Noted. Any other tips from the gallery?

[Wind Swept]

I'm like ten times more charming and witty online

Interesting. I'm more charming offline, but more witty online.

Something about the medium of the written word that opens a person up and accelerates friendships in a way that's nearly impossible to replicate in oral conversations.

Ah, the beauty of asynchronous communication.

[powerfulcheese04]

I am not sure I'm going to make it 3-5 years after the wedding before trying to have kids! If my ovaries don't knock it off, it'll probably be more like right after graduation.

[zeroguy]

Noted. Any other tips from the gallery?

I don't really think of what you said as being "bad" at smalltalk. Just do what you want and that makes you comfortable, with a certain amount of accommodation for the perceived preferences of others. If you like silence, don't say a lot. If others aren't comfortable with it, then that's just someone you may not get along with. I would never have found others that are more along my lines of casual conversation if I always tried to come up with the "correct" way of responding to small talk.

Business relationships are different, of course, since you may not have a choice. But... that's why it's business and not personal.

[LilBee91]

Confession: I watched football and Two and a Half Men tonight instead of doing homework I should have done.

I don't even like Two and a Half Men. Or football, really.

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: I don't know if it's too depressing and my subconscious is trying to protect my much too fragile self or what but ever since my last pay cut, I've managed to forget what days I get paid despite receiving the stub, breakdown thing. (What are those called, again? Not really the stub since I have direct deposit, or is it? Whatever.) Since I don't really spend, I now do my budgeting whenever I randomly remember I have a paycheck waiting for me. That's usually a few days later.

[Mich]

Confession: I was watching the digital floor readout in the mirror while waiting for the elevator. I got excited when it hit floor "01", but then got confused when it read "P".

Stupid mirrors.

Made me think of Futurama, though. So that was fun.

[Luet]

I am having one of those insecure days where I feel like people don't like me, are talking bad about me behind my back, and don't want to hang out with me (not you guys). Sigh.

[steph]

I had that day on Sunday, Nomi. I know exactly how you feel.

[Dr. Mobius]

On the off chance we could even find something bad about either of you, I'd like to think we'd at least be direct and say it to your face.

[VelvetElvis]

I made my husband go buy tickets to The Lion King 3D last night so we could get the showing I wanted. I remember going to watch it when it was in theaters the first time around. SO EXCITED.

[steph]

I remember riding my bike to the old 2 screen theatre to see Lion King. They didn't have big multi-screen theatres back then. My sister and I met my cousin there. It was hot, since it was the middle of summer, and my candy bar melted. It was a cookies 'n mint. Remember those candy bars? I loved those. I was trying to decided whether to take my kids to see it in the theatre. We're taking them to the stage production in November.

[Petra456]

I want to see it in theaters soooo bad! The firs time around my Mom took us, but it ended up being sold out. I wish it wasn't in 3D, but i'm really thinking about going just so I can see it in theaters!

[VelvetElvis]

Our theater is having one showing a day in 2d!!

[Luet]

I saw it after my high school graduation. I'm so old.

[Gravity Defier]

6th grade for me, I believe. I saw it in the Nicklelodeon theater in San Diego. First time I sat in stadium seats and there were pretty shooting star lights on the ceiling. I even sang, if you can call it that, the Pumba part for our talent show.

[Young Val]

Confession: I buy myself flowers on a regular basis because it makes me happy. I have been doing this for years, whether single or in a relationship. David has bought me flowers once, bought me "flours" twice, and made me origami flowers once, and done many many many other sweet and unexpected romantic things. But I love love love having fresh flowers in the house. I think they are beautiful and cheerful and--now that I frequent the farmers market--cheap! I need my flower fix, so I just take care of that need myself. Some of my friends think this is weird, like I'm passive-aggressively trying to send David hints or something, but that's not how it is. For awhile, their opinions made me stop my little indulgence, but recently I got over it, and I'm so glad! :::admires sunflowers, etc. on her livingroom table:::