Awkward moments...

[Satya]

So I was at the gym this morning, as usual. I was at the end of my workout, hitting the heavy bag. Above the area is a track for walking/jogging that circles around about a 1/20th of a mile (20 laps = 1 mile). There's two people walking the track above me, a guy and a girl, both regulars that I see several times a week but never talk to.

Recently, I shaved my head; I'd had it grown out pretty long up until that point, about shoulder-length. But DAMN has it been hot/humid lately, and there's no way I could've gotten through the rest of summer like that. Anyways, during a break between rounds of hitting the bag, the guy leans over the rail and says to me, quite sincerely,

"hey, what ever possessed you to cut off all that beautiful hair..?"

Uh.... awkward... slowly back away...

Share awkward moments here.

[Cellphone Flasher]

I took a cellphone snapshot of my manparts and showed it to a girl.

She told everyone in a Dear You.

[Graff^]

Cyanide and happiness!!!!

[zeroguy]

Unnecessary demotivator-ification!!!!

[locke]

future of car seats

[megxers]

+Getting a call about a job while watching True Blood. Thankfully it was just the opening credits.

+My cousin went from "it's complicated" to "married." Congrats?

+My most recent google search history is "gay bar Hollywood," etc.

[Rei]

It's slightly belated, but getting hit on by an older guy at work.

[LilBee91]

For some reason I thought this was the thumbs up thread (I think it was the "+" in megxers' post) which made Rei's post a rather awkward read...

[ValentineNicole]

For some reason I thought this was the thumbs up thread (I think it was the "+" in megxers' post) which made Rei's post a rather awkward read...

Ditto! I'm glad I'm not the only one...

My thought process went, "Wait...but...huh..." LOL

[Rei]

*snrk*

Wow.

[Gravity Defier]

As part of my attempt to keep distracted during this latest, biggest breakdown of 2010, I found myself in a club in San Diego Sunday night. With strippers (male). And my mother. That last bit, being there with my mom, was not the awkward part.

Neither was my bad joke to my mom about having sex on the beach right next to my mother, who was also having sex on the beach. (Yes, the drink.)

No, the awkward moment was watching mulitple strangers practically having sex about 8 feet from where I stood. This was not a case of "no touching" allowed. A man, in what amounted to nothing more than a glitzy penis sock, was bumping and grinding his way through the audience (didn't touch me, thank god) and even pulled out a finger vibrator on one of the women dragged on stage. That wasn't even the worst/most of it.

The last awkward moment of that night was me dragging my mom out, not after 2 hours of train-wreck, rubber-necking, can't look away type watching finally getting to me but rather after a Mary J Blige song came on that I have been associating with this whole mess and I didn't want to break down in a club, in San Diego, with my mom, surrounded by male strippers and their fans. Because holy cow, those women were clearly enjoying themselves whereas I just felt scarred.

[buckshot]

WOW!

[Gravity Defier]

I saw a real life penis at work on Saturday.

It made me sad. I thought the next time I saw a penis (that didn't involve diaper changing+baby relatives) would be an enjoyable experience for me.

He was really embarrassed and it was suggested that I make him a "Sorry I saw your penis" card since I told my friend Hallmark doesn't make those.

[neo-dragon]

Silly Alea. An apology for seeing a man's penis is an insult. He'll feel much better if you give him a thank you card.

[jotabe]

Silly Alea. An apology for seeing a man's penis is an insult.

Well, perhaps that's her intention
May I suggest, furthermore, jokes that involve augmentation lenses?

[mr_thebrain]

so many jokes come to mind.

how many fake penises do you see at work?
I'm assuming you aren't a prostitute and you don't work at a strip club. so how exactly did it happen.

i mean i know i work in a penis free work environment. it's in the dress code.

[neo-dragon]

I had some 9th grade girls make an over sized paper mache penis as part of a project in the biological reproduction unit. That's my most memorable penis moment at work.

[Gravity Defier]

i mean i know i work in a penis free work environment. it's in the dress code.

You have a detachable penis? It must be a Pweb thing.




As for fake penises at work, unless you count whatever I see in art books I occasionally browse, the typical number I see is zero. The "real" comment was as opposed to something I might see in a video/movie at home, spray-painted (graffiti...very popular image around here) on my bike path, etc.

I walked into the unlocked staff restroom and possibly literally scared the s*** out of the person using it, who forgot to lock it behind himself.

I didn't stare or linger but I saw enough to be sad that that was my reintroduction to the penis, in person.

[locke]

that would be national news in the States, neo, in a bad way. public consternation, investigations, outrage, etc etc. good thing you don't work in mcjesus land, a land where the penis does not exist, especially not in school. :-p

[mr_thebrain]

[literally scared the s*** out of the person using it

sounds messy...

i would be more embarrassed about having the s*** literally scared out of me in front of someone than them seeing my detachable penis.

[neo-dragon]

that would be national news in the States, neo, in a bad way. public consternation, investigations, outrage, etc etc. good thing you don't work in mcjesus land, a land where the penis does not exist, especially not in school. :-p

Alea said so too but I still find it hard to believe that it'd be such a big deal. It's a science class. The penis is part of the male reproductive anatomy. I don't get you guys sometimes.

[Petra456]

At my graduation ceremony someone snuck in a giant inflatable penis, blew it up, and started tossing it around once they started handing out diplomas.

I've never had a penis incident at work.... So far.

[locke]

It's a science class.

Here, science is just a fancy word for lies

The penis is part of the male reproductive anatomy.

That is a lie. Sarah Palin and Jesus do not approve. You are clearly not a Real American TM.

We have to take the country back, we can't let it be overrun by people who think the penis exists.

[Eaquae Legit]

As for fake penises at work, unless you count whatever I see in art books I occasionally browse, the typical number I see is zero.

I, however, have seen far too many at work. It's stopped being awkward. Ah, the glamorous life of a health support worker.

[Gravity Defier]

But they're not exactly your peers, are they? It seems different, in my mind, when it is someone you are caring for versus someone who is fully capable of taking care of themselves, and furthermore, when that someone who is capable is not someone you are intimate with or, on the other end of the spectrum, a stranger.

It's not really a big deal but I truly do feel bad for it happening, as it seemed to embarrass the hell out of him.

[Brian]

After reading all of this I scrolled to the top of the thread and couldn't help but laugh.

[Eaquae Legit]

But they're not exactly your peers, are they? It seems different, in my mind, when it is someone you are caring for versus someone who is fully capable of taking care of themselves, and furthermore, when that someone who is capable is not someone you are intimate with or, on the other end of the spectrum, a stranger.

Very true. What a weird thread this is.

[Gravity Defier]

After reading all of this I scrolled to the top of the thread and couldn't help but laugh.

Err, why?

What a weird thread this is.

One might almost call it...awkward.

[Brian]

Err, why?

Just the correlation.

[neo-dragon]

In 11th grade english my whole class got into a big discussion about what the plural of penis is. Some idiots got it in their heads that it was "peni". The teacher just seemed amused by the whole thing. And to think, we were the gifted class.

[Eaquae Legit]

In 11th grade english my whole class got into a big discussion about what the plural of penis is. Some idiots got it in their heads that it was "peni". The teacher just seemed amused by the whole thing. And to think, we were the gifted class.

Penes. Just sayin'. For the record.

[Janus%TheDoorman]

So pretty much we've reached the conclusion that penes are awkward. Can we move on now? This whole thread is getting kinda awkward.

(Side note: The spell-check on Firefox says penes is a misspelling. I suppose it says a lot about the awkwardness of penes that discussing several at once at all gets your computer scolding you.)

[neo-dragon]

Penes. Just sayin'. For the record.

Yeah, someone looked it up eventually. But I can't help saying penises... You know, on the many occasions that I have reason to use the plural of penis.

[Eaquae Legit]

So pretty much we've reached the conclusion that penes are awkward. Can we move on now? This whole thread is getting kinda awkward.

(Side note: The spell-check on Firefox says penes is a misspelling. I suppose it says a lot about the awkwardness of penes that discussing several at once at all gets your computer scolding you.)

The spellcheck on Firefox used to have problems with "millennia". Kept trying to change it to "millenniums". I think its problem is with Latinate plurals, really.

[jotabe]

The spellcheck on Firefox used to have problems with "millennia". Kept trying to change it to "millenniums". I think its problem is with Latinate plurals, really.

This is an awkward moment... for the spellcheck writers.

Hmmm spellcheck writer... isn't that a beatles song?