Dear Interwebs

[starlooker]

Publish it!

Publish it! You did the work, you were not the one to make the choice, it's an awesome opportunity, and you earned it.

Just make damn sure that it's documented like mad that you were not the one to make selections for this edition. Be amazingly humble and understated when you announce the selections. Also, I would advise you not to make ANY changes to the selected articles if you're not going to change your own. And, during the rest of your tenure, don't submit anything to the journal that you've written unless you've got some kind of blind review procedure established.

(By the way -- how did it happen before that people were selecting their own? You would think they would have protocols established for that sort of thing. However, one of your goals as editor-in-chief might be to establish some fair protocols around in-house publishing.)

Basically, if I were staff, I might be upset/suspicious initially, but if you're ethically above-board the rest of the time (and if it really IS a quality article, which I assume is the case) it would not totally ruin my impression of you or relationship with you.

And, frankly, even if you do have one or two people who are begrudging you this, how much does that actually matter? 1. As long as you have documentation that you did not do anything improper, they can't get you fired. 2. This editor position is great resume builder, but it isn't the bulk of your career, is it? Prospective employers will probably weigh more heavily, "Look! Two articles!" than sour grapes of former co-workers.

In short, you did the work, you earned it, you didn't select it, for God's sake, man, publish it. Benefits totally outweigh risks in my mind. (By the by, you might want to make some sort of note somewhere in the edition that you did not select the articles for the journal, for the sake of anyone reading it. Up to you.)

Alternatively, you could submit it elsewhere. Or, if there's some sort of board you could consult with about it, that might be good.

Congratulations!!!!

[Syphon the Sun]

Thanks, Kirsten.

How the former editor(s) selected their own work for publication is sort of interesting, I think, and results from two things: no binding rules and the date when the editorial board officially takes over. A long time ago, our journal was affiliated with another journal and bound by their constitution, bylaws, etc. At some point, we severed the affiliation. But, when we did that, we didn't bother to draft our own protocols. The other journal's protocols were sort of used as default rules, but nothing really bound us to those rules, so when an editor didn't like one, he'd simply stop adhering to it and implement a different policy, which would get passed down to the next editor. Or it would go back to the old way, but there was no way to enforce one or the other. And we officially take over the helm in June, right after the summer issue is published and after the fall issue is sent to the publisher. Our name is put on the masthead in the winter issue and it stays there until the following fall issue. But our first selection won't be published until next summer, and our last selection will be published the spring after next (2012 for me). So what happened is that when the outgoing board decided they didn't want to make the selections for the Fall/Winter issues, the new board made them and picked their own works. And because we had no binding rules, it just sort of happened and there wasn't much that could be done about it. This is being changed, finally, as I brought it to the attention of my bosses (who were absolutely shocked that it's been operating this way for years) and a committee was formed to draft bylaws and make some much-needed changes in how the journal is run.

As far as what happens now, I met with a few higher-ups in the organization for several hours yesterday. I explained the situation and, after all was said and done, they were pretty adament about publishing whatever my predecessor selected (he's been realy good for the organization). I also explained that I didn't feel comfortable editing my own work (and that I didn't think I'd be able to do a good job with it), so one of them offered to edit it (she's a former editor and current referee for us). I think that works best, particularly because she's a heavy-handed editor.

And as far as future articles go, I have no plans to submit anything during my tenure. I'm currently shopping an article around to other journals, anyway, because I have one (and a half-ish) that I've written since my election that I couldn't submit to myself.

Thank you, again, for the advice and encouragement. It really did help (especially the advice to talk to some people higher in the organization).

[Mich]

Dear Interbutts,

Today I made my first big furniture purchase! Since my car is out of commission getting the water pump fixed, I took the scaaaaary bus-and-MAX route to IKEA from my place, and now feel comfortable enough with the public transportation in Portland to consider getting a Trimet pass. IKEA is awesome, of course, and I stupidly did not borrow money from my parents to get a great table-and-chairs combo that was available last week and was not available today. However, I did buy a sofa! It's comfortable and faux-suede and I should have it in a few hours (getting $20 off of the delivery because I took the MAX was awesome, by the way).

HOWEVER, I'm considering reconfiguring my living room to better accommodate the couch. Currently I have a setup with my TV on one wall, perpendicular to the main window, and my desk on the opposite wall, so, when I'm working on my laptop, my back is to the TV. From this setup, the sofa would go next to the desk and everything would be hunky-dory. If I want to watch TV while on the computer, I would just spin around and slide onto the couch, taking my laptop with me. I eventually plan to upgrade to a new, custom-built desktop within the next few months, and would still like to be able to operate it with one eye on the TV, should the mood strike. I could accomplish this by leaving the desk where it is, maybe pushing it further from the window a few feet, moving the TV in front of the window, and putting the sofa in the middle of the room, facing the TV, perpendicular to the desk.

My TV is really nice, though, or at least is to me. I got it three years ago, brand new, for $600. It's a 32'' LCD and is the TV of my dreams. So the question is, has anyone ever had a setup like this before, with a TV in front of a window? Are there any dangers to the electronics? Obviously I would shut the blinds before turning on the TV, to ease seeing it and to prevent heating issues, but the rest of the time the blinds will be open and ready to receive the afternoon sun, so the TV would have direct sunlight on it for 4-5 hours a day. Beyond color fading, might this have any problems?

Love,
the new, hipper Jeff.

[starlooker]

Congratulations, again, Michael! Glad the advice/encouragement helped and I'm glad the higher-ups are supporting the publication of your work!

[Eaquae Legit]

Good luck, Michael!

[daPyr0x]

Dear Interwebs,

Does anybody else here intentionally dumb-ify themselves for their company? That can't be that uncommon, right? I don't mean speaking simpler, but rather outright avoiding the higher level questioning altogether and not letting your surroundings aware that you actually have that capability. I do. All the time. It's (part of) why I keep high, sarcastic walls around myself. I don't like to let people know my capabilities. The oblivious in the room are asking the logical question of why, exactly, one would do that; not realizing that in most structured school systems, those who learn well and quickly are punished and restricted when shown to excel. The smart ones learn to act like the rest of the class so they were left them alone to do what they wanted. Sure, things are much different as a 20-something man than they were in the days of school, but I continue to experience negative reactions in others due to my achievements. I don't like being someone about whom others are jealous, and most of my relationships eventually turn to exactly that. I'm really shy about my singing, as an example; I remember many times where I'd finally open up for a close friend 'cause she'd always be singing around me and I got comfortable, just to have her suddenly get insecure and quit singing entirely around me. I have a gravitational pull towards leadership; or more, people are generally drawn to me for knowledge. I guess that's good for getting women, except that one of my biggest turn offs is clingy women seeking direction. Another reason I purposely avoid showing myself. Seriously, if I was a little more "marketed" (ie: not spending most of my time at home, and being antisocial in public), I'd be knocking women away with a bat. Yes, a bat; I've had some pretty crazy women after me. That's really, generally, where my "insecurity" or, more appropriately, "inability to make new social relationships" lies. If I didn't, EVERYBODY would wanna hang out with me. It would just be too much for me to actually be able to find people with whom I could actually relate. There's a big difference between being brought in as the knowledge center of a group and actually building connections with said groups. Hell, there'a a big difference between women I would like to spend some time with and women with whom I'd like to build a real relationship. I'm tired of being the "bad guy" when I figure out a woman doesn't stand where she wants to and she hates me for it. It's just easier not to show nothing.

I'm not the only one who does this, am I?

[[yes, the double negative was intended]]

[Jayelle]

Dear Pweb advice-givers,

Is there any way I can tactfully and non passive-aggressively tell my neighbours across the hall that their dog barks all afternoon? YAP YAP YAP YAP SCRATCH WHINE YAP.
I am sad for the dog, who clearly hates to be left alone, I'm annoyed for me who has to listen to this all day and frustrated that it's during Ginny's nap time so I can't just leave the house (and it also keeps her awake sometimes). However, I also feel like I might be a jerk for saying anything because sometimes Ginny is loud - she has temper tantrums from time to time and I'm sure that other people are annoyed with me.

Dog owners: are there ways to stop your dog from doing this? Is it a puppy thing?

Other people: What's worse? Barking dog or crying child?

[Luet]

Well, as a non-dog owner, I would say that dog barking is worse, especially if it goes on all afternoon. I would guess that Ginny doesn't usually cry for hours at a time. I don't really have a suggestion on how to handle it, though. Sorry.

[Wil]

Idea: Record their own dog barking in the afternoon, then when they get home at night play it really loudly back at them.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it would humorous.

[Jayelle]

Idea: Record their own dog barking in the afternoon, then when they get home at night play it really loudly back at them.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it would humorous.

You're not the first person to suggest that!

I'm thinking that would be HIGHLY passive-aggressive, though.

[Gravity Defier]

Wil, that would be passive-aggressive.

I wouldn't say either crying or barking is better or worse than the other; they can both be tolerable and understandable and they can both be annoying and intolerable, all depending on various factors such as time of day, location/environment, temperament of those who can hear it, etc.

I think the best thing you could do is just politely approach them with the information but give them some time to work on a solution. They may not be aware of it happening and unless they're extremely knowledgeable in all things pets, they probably won't know, on the spot, how to fix it.

That was the issue I had when my neighbor came to me about my dogs; she got snobby and not only expected me to have the answer for her right then and there about how I planned to approach fixing the problem, she started lecturing me about how her dog was superior to mine in that hers never barked. Had she stayed polite, raised the issue and let me think on it, I would have been more than happy to work on it with them.

We were told more exercise/play time would do the trick and if it didn't, there are collars that shock the poor things into barking less. Probably not a good idea to offer those suggestions right off the bat, though, since you don't know the situation of your neighbor and what they can or can't do.

That's probably not helpful. Sorry.

[daPyr0x]

Idea: Record their own dog barking in the afternoon, then when they get home at night play it really loudly back at them.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it would humorous.

You're not the first person to suggest that!

I'm thinking that would be HIGHLY passive-aggressive, though.

Why not talk to them, point out he clearly doesn't like being left alone for long periods of time, and offer to take him for a short walk in the afternoons or something?

[Eaquae Legit]

Idea: Record their own dog barking in the afternoon, then when they get home at night play it really loudly back at them.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it would humorous.

You're not the first person to suggest that!

I'm thinking that would be HIGHLY passive-aggressive, though.

Why not talk to them, point out he clearly doesn't like being left alone for long periods of time, and offer to take him for a short walk in the afternoons or something?

That's sort of what I was thinking. Does Ginny like dogs?

[Gravity Defier]

Whereas I'd be very cautious about offering such a thing, for my own sake as well as the neighbor's.

How long would this be expected to take place? The entire time they're living there? Until other arrangements could be made?

For me personally, someone offering to walk my dogs would shame me a bit or make me feel even less in control of the situation. I grant you, I may be weird that way.

[Wil]

I'm thinking that would be HIGHLY passive-aggressive, though.

Wil, that would be passive-aggressive.

... so?

Okay, okay. We could fall back on my (apparently not original idea) if the neighbors decide to do nothing about it!

[Jayelle]

Idea: Record their own dog barking in the afternoon, then when they get home at night play it really loudly back at them.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it would humorous.

You're not the first person to suggest that!

I'm thinking that would be HIGHLY passive-aggressive, though.

Why not talk to them, point out he clearly doesn't like being left alone for long periods of time, and offer to take him for a short walk in the afternoons or something?

That's sort of what I was thinking. Does Ginny like dogs?

She LOVES them. I was thinking of offering that as well.

[Gravity Defier]

I need it to be understood, these two things are something I've been considering for longer than just tonight, so I'm turning to you guys since I am just as stuck as I was before.

Facebook.

I see how it has good potential but I believe it to be harmful to my mental health. The question is what to do about it. There are three options, basically.

One, don't sign in. Two, deactivate. Three, delete.

I don't want to delete, I'm pretty sure, because there may come a time when I'm mentally stable enough to not be a complete freak about it.

I have deactivated it in the past but that was when I didn't have any family friended on there, so I didn't have to explain to anyone. People on Pweb knew why or didn't, local friends didn't know why but I couldn't really be bothered to give a s*** about that. I'm a little worried family might ask why and I don't want to tell them that some of my closest friends have broken my heart one too many times and I'm better off not having it rubbed in my face.

That might open up option four: block the offenders from seeing anything and from me seeing any of their stuff. I'm just going to say it: I've done this with Janelle, which is funny given she created my account for me and handed it over. I sometimes sneak a peak, just to make sure she's still alive.

Or, I can just not sign in. Problem with this is, I know I'll get curious and since Pweb was taken from me at work, I'll get bored and it will be there, shaking it's ugly little social networking head at me.


Second issue:

Phone.

I've been considering waiting until my phone itself dies and then canceling service in place of buying a new phone. I have been thinking about not waiting for that and just canceling it anyway. I've done this before, in 2005 and had a blissful ~year with no phone and no desire to use one.

Now, the problem there is my parents would probably throw a fit because they worry and to be honest, I get a little nervous about being without one too and will remain so until I'm off probation.

But I think of all the movies I can see for the money I spend (10 if I catch a matinee, 7 if I go full price) and I'm mighty tempted to say to hell with it all, no phone. Nomi calls me, once every few months I call Josh, and my parents text the hell out of me. I never get anywhere near approaching my limits.

Maybe I should switch to prepaid?

Advice, please :)

[steph]

This is me being selfish, but I love seeing you on FB and I love being able to text you! Don't forget that your name puts you first in my phone book, so when my kids accidentally call someone, it's you!

[Wil]

Facebook: You can't delete your profile because then my phone wouldn't have a Facebook picture associated with your number.

Phone: I know several people who are on the T-Mobile prepaid plan that costs $100/year for 1000 minutes. If you don't use those 1000 minutes before the year ends, the minutes roll over. Texting is $0.10/message, but I'm sure there are some plans if that's something you do often enough.

Even if you go with something else, it's always a good idea to keep a cellphone handy. Never know when you'll need it!

Plus, you should not-not call me again. We could have Alea-that-swears-she-doesn't-ever-talk-this-much-talk and Wil-is-awkward-as-hell-on-the-phone-talk! Or something.

[CezeN]

Easybib: Thanks for all the Bibliography help. I used to be nervous about doing those.

Cracked.com: Thanks for all the lols. You are the fittest comedy website that I've ever been on.

Meebo: Keeping me in touch with my best friend from home.

[Gravity Defier]

I know all about how T-Mobile prepaid services works; I was considering that. Thing to note, if you don't use the $100 card in a year and add more minutes to roll them over, anything less than another $100 card will change your rate from 10 cents a minute to something higher, depending on what value you purchase. It can go up as high as 33 cents a minute, I believe, if you start adding too many of the cheaper valued cards. A $50 card would put it up to 12.5 cents a minute for the first one, I think. Still, cheaper than what I pay now. Thinking shall commence.


*grin* As for FB, none of that is at all helpful. I'm being serious!

[Sirius]

I'm being serious!

Me, too.

[Gravity Defier]

You are ridiculous.

[Joker]

Why so serious?

[Luet]

I would probably suggest blocking each person you don't wish to see. That's what I have done. That way you don't see anything they post (even if they comment on someone else's post or picture) and they can't see anything of yours.

As far the phone goes, you should look into Straight Talk at Walmart. They have two options. One is $30/month for 1000 minutes and 1000 texts; or $45/month for unlimited minutes, text and internet. Those are the total prices, no extra taxes or fees. You can sign up in store or online. Some phones are free online with the plan. I'm thinking of doing this when my Verizon contract runs out. (Side note: The phones ending with a "C" run on the Verizon network. The ones ending with a "G" use the ATT network. So, pick whichever works better in your area).

[Gravity Defier]

I shall take that into consideration; thanks.

As a side note, I love how much hell I've been given (not on board) over the consideration to get rid of FB -considerably more than over my phone. They think it's a recent development, as in from the last few days, they think they know what it's over when it's a long series of events, and they think it's excessive and melodramatic (given my history, understandable) when I truly believe, after my history on the site, that it is bad for my mental health. Not that I owe anyone any explanations but I'm dumbfounded over the reaction. It's a website and a pretty pointless one for me.

[Eaquae Legit]

I would miss you on FB, as I'd miss you anywhere, but it is up to you, after all.

[Luet]

I'm not giving you a hard time over the phone because I can't imagine anyone actually getting rid of a cell phone. Maybe that's silly of me.

[Luet]

Okay, I think Ali will understand this but I'm not sure if I overreacted to this or not. Someone who was my friend on facebook posted about how they were annoyed about something and she used the word "retarded" as an insult THREE times in her post. I really don't like when people use that word. I sent her a private email saying that she might want to be careful using that term since it might offend people. (The ironic thing is that she has a mentally handicapped sister so I'm surprised she doesn't know better). She got very annoyed that I said anything and unfriended me. I don't really care since we were childhood friends and haven't spoken in years.

I just wondered if I did the wrong thing. What do you guys think?

[neo-dragon]

I think that the wrong thing would have been to post a comment on her wall or something, but since you expressed your concern privately I think that her reaction of unfriending you was childish.

She may disagree with you and not change her ways, but I don't think that you were out of line to say something privately.

[Wil]

Let me try and write my opinion on this as carefully as I can...

I can understand why some people would be upset when other people use words like "retarded", "fag", and "gay" in negative, but not necessarily derogatory ways. When this bothers people, I even forgo using these words despite the fact that I rarely use them at all and I don't completely agree with not using the words. It's just the respectful thing to do.

However, I also understand how people can use these words without it ever having been intended to be derogatory or hurtful to mentally handicap or homosexuals. These are words that can be used to hurt, and they are used in that way, but they aren't always. I don't think the majority of the uses of these words are ever used to be indirectly hurtful to those that are gay or are mentally handicapped.

I think that her using the word just kind of proves this in that, even though she has a sister which is mentally handicapped, her using the word didn't really have any connection to her sisters condition.

For more on this, I implore you to watch this video, which covers it in a (some might say) comedic way which is NSFW because of some light language.

I don't think you did the wrong thing, and you definitely did the right thing by saying it privately, but I think you just did something which some might find too forward. I wouldn't have done that, and if someone posts things which I don't like I often just remove them from my feed. She definitely overreacted, though.

[Luet]

I appreciate hearing both of your viewpoints.

[Young Val]

Where I grew up the word "retarded" was regularly used and could mean anything from "stupid" to "ridiculous." I myself used the word frequently, and do still have to check myself because since moving out of the greater Boston area I've encountered multiple people who find this word offensive.

What Wil mentioned about the word not being meant in a derrogatory way (we/I have not ever used the words gay/fag so loosely, and it does make me uncomfortable when other people do so; I can understand how the word "retarded" raises similar concerns in other people) but simply part of our vocabulary. I know many people with mentally disabled relatives, as Nomi mention, who do still use the word "retarded" to describe things in the way I've mentioned above.

I'm not suggesting that the fact that everyone does it where I grew up, or the fact that people with mentally disabled relatives use it means that it's ok. I make on-going efforts to remove that word from my vocabulary specifically because people have gently pointed out that they find it offensive.

At times, though, I do still use it when speaking with the people I grew up around. It slips out. I don't really feel that guilty about it among those people because they understand what I'm trying to communicate when I say that word, but it is something I try to be aware of outside of that group.


It's like swearing. I tend to swear a lot (never around children, though, ever). I have been making an increasing effort to make sure that I don't swear around adults who are uncomfortable with such language. I do that out of respect for my peers, but in the privacy of my own home I do still swear. I guess I'm comfortable with my intent behind the words and so I don't feel any concern over it?

I also believe--strongly--that words are a reflection of the world and the attitudes and social contracts of the people who live in it. I think words are powerful and having meaning. Language is a tool and it can become a weapon. The things that people say matter. If the words I say are truly damaging and I can find another way to express myself, then I will. I'm not going to cling stubbornly to some slang I used growing up.

[Jayelle]

Alea -I have no strong opinion about FB, but about the phone...

When we moved, we had to cancel our cell phone (since it was province-specific) and we haven't gotten a new one since we got here. People survived a long time without cell phones, so we figured it was no big deal.

It hasn't been. People were pretty shocked to hear that at 9mo pregnant, I didn't have an immediate way of contacting Paul. It turned out totally fine.

I suppose it's a little different to rely on a family phone when you're living with your parents, though.

[Syphon the Sun]

Canadians still have home phones? Weird.