Dear Interwebs

[Petrie]

My family likewise had money issues (from having too little of it, not from misspending), so I grew up very aware of money. Actually, amongst all the kids, my two oldest brothers now currently have an issue with thinking money grows on trees and my little brother and I are the exact opposite, though my little brother is less stingy/frugal than I am.

Debt:

I was blessed with a Hispanic last name/brown skin, poor parents, and some amount of brains, so I had every last penny of my Bachelor degree paid for me through either scholarships or grants; no school debts whatsoever.

In fact, I cannot stand debt -it causes me all sorts of anxiety- and for the few years I was paying for my mom's car, I paid down 3x what I was expected to a month (an entire paycheck) to reduce my debt as quickly as possible. If her previous car hadn't died when it did, I would have purchased her car flat out. I also would have been finished sooner if I hadn't lost my job.

I have never had credit card debt.

Credit Cards:

I only have one, don't really care if more would make my credit score look better, and I use it for everything (exception being when I travel).

The only time I carry cash anymore, or even visit a bank/CU in person, is for trips; after finding myself in a bind in NYC and realizing not everywhere takes credit cards, I made it a point to have more than I did that trip on hand. The cash, more often than not, goes untouched and deposited right back into my account, where I then transfer it to the credit card to cover what I charged on the trip. I get rewards, so I won't use cash if I can earn something for the card.

As soon as I spend money, I transfer funds from Checking to cover it. That very day. Again, only exception being if I am traveling.

If a local business doesn't accept credit or charges for it, I won't do business with them.

Budgeting:

I have a notebook where I keep track because I'm old school. Spreadsheets would be faster but I like keeping a pen and paper copy. I do three major entries with many minor entries throughout the month; one entry each for a paycheck and one entry for the first of the month, when interest hits.

The smaller, more numerous entries are when I'm noting where I've spent money.

I'm currently being a tight wad but my general practice is the same regardless of what I'm bringing in. An advantage to being a loser and living at home is I have it pretty easy, in some ways.

First paycheck of the month goes to paying off essentials. In my current case, this is the "rent" money I'm paying my mom and my small set of bills. When figuring out rent, I asked my mom how much she paid for utilities and groceries and basically gave her half. That's the easiness of this; I don't pay an additional rent...just do some chores and she considers it even. The utilities and groceries is still a decent chunk of what I now make, so it's nothing to sneeze at, but I'm aware it could be worse.

The second paycheck, if I weren't currently in a savings frenzy, would be where play money, travel money, home improvement money comes in. As it is, depending on my Chicago savings, I can set aside anywhere from $1-5 per second paycheck for play money. This means I hardly ever eat out (okay, never on my dime, for a long time), buy junk I don't need but really want, go out to movies, etc. Whatever I do for fun that requires money is usually done out of pressure and people insisting they pay for me, which I hate and makes me resent them because I do have money, I'm simply exercising self-control over it, and now I feel like I'm in debt to them. See above about how I don't do debt.

Regardless of paycheck size, I've always had a savings account. Before, it was $400/month. Now, it's everything that doesn't go to bills/rent. If I hadn't been so good about it before, I would have been royally screwed on my 14 month "vacation."

For the past 1.5 years, I've had CDs and will from here on out refuse to have any less than $1,000 in that form. Interest rates are kind of s*** but I'd rather have money that I know I can't touch for a set amount of time, that is earning me more interest than my savings account, than have it sitting in savings, touchable and less aggressive. I hope to get solid enough to have that minimum CD size be at least $10K.


Sharing:

Assuming I am capable, I am more than happy to spend money on other people and sometimes insist on it. I will never offer if I can't swing it and if people hear "I'm broke, I can't do [this]," that doesn't mean I'm actually broke and can't do anything; it means I budget very specifically and my budget for X ran dry but Y is still okay. I'll be considerably more lenient with spending if I know it's for something that will benefit someone else.

As for actually sharing expenses, joint accounts, all that...not an issue at the moment but I think I would like to do either "keep it separate" or do a three account system; two separate- one for me and the future-mister, and one joint. I would, at this point, prefer the "keep it separate" option but I could probably be talked into the other option.

As long as I'm physically/mentally capable, I want to work. I do not ever want to rely on a man for my well-being and I don't care if I think he's The One or the "OMG love you forever, baby" kind of man. This is why I always try to have a savings. If I can't get me by, I'm not doing well enough by my standards.

I think, depending on the man, I would feel better about going 50/50, no matter what I earn- and I'm almost certainly always going to earn less than any partner of mine. I also can't lie about saying I'd feel a bit resentful if I ever had to be the sole breadwinner.


ETA: I do my banking at a military-based credit union and have since I was a teen. I won't do big name banks.

Okay, I think I covered everything. Basically, I'm a tightwad, control freak who doesn't like financial assistance now that I'm out of school. :)

[Petra456]

My parents, to this day, are horrible with money. They have always had dept and continue to have dept, and it is probably the reason for the majority of fights that go on in this house.

I think because of this i'm so paranoid about my money. I have always had a savings account since i've started working and it's always had a good amount of money in it in case of emergency. Right now i've been kinda stressed because it's the lowest it's ever been (but it was spent on important things). I do have two credit cards, one is from my work and the other is from my credit union. I used to only use the credit card for when I would make big purchased like hotels or plane tickets, then I would pay it off. However, a couple of years ago after my Dad was laid off I let my parents put some money on the card and they have bee slowly paying it off (making about double the min. payments) since then.

Will and I both have separate checking and saving accounts. Right now I can always see us having our separate accounts, but eventually getting a joint checking for things like rent.


I really *hate* money.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You all,

I kind of hate that I am resorting to this and I foresee this being a long, painful, brutal, embarrassing process for me but I need help and I'm not above asking for it.

I have too much s*** in my room, plain and simple. I want to get rid of quite a bit of it. I justify keeping it for the stupidest reasons.

I need some harsh love/advice, here. Is anyone willing to be the voice of reason I can't be for myself? Either on board or off, I don't care.

But, to be honest, I'm not sure how to put things up on the "for consideration" block, for those willing to help. Pictures? Descriptions? Both? I guess that can be worked out if anyone is willing to help.

So, uh, please help!

[steph]

I play a good voice of reason for Brian, but I don't know that I would for anyone else.

[ender1]

A description should do it, unless is some obscure thing.

[Gravity Defier]

Here, then, or PM?

I'll throw out an example and if you feel up to the task -not kidding on the long process part- you can let me know which way you'd prefer. If you're not, since I don't even want to do this, that's cool too.


First up, then. My DVD collection. I have probably close to 250 DVDs, maybe a bit more, of mostly movies but a random season of some television series that I hardly ever watch. I want to keep some that I consider staples but I'm feeling like having them around just in case I ever find myself in the mood isn't a good reason anymore. I'm much more likely to watch a movie I own if it's on TV and I stumble into it than I am to grab it and play it. However, I'm reasoning that I paid good money building up that collection, don't have the heart to sell them and would lose money giving them away, and I do like them, so why not keep them. Plus, and this is the truly stupid part, it gives me some sense of status as a serious movie lover.

So...do I get rid of them or hang onto them?

[Jayelle]

A tip that might take longer then you're willing, but a tip nonetheless:
Every time you watch a DVD this year, do something to it - put a sticker on it, turn it backwards on your shelf, something obvious. Then, at the end of the year (or six months or whatever), take a serious look at what you haven't watched and decide what to keep and what to throw out.

I've heard this tip with clothes (hang them with the hangers facing out, then after you wear them, face them in).

[Syphon the Sun]

Post a list of the movies and when I see one I want/don't have, I can tell you to get rid of it.

ETA: My general feeling is to keep media. Books, movies, music, whathaveyou. But, then again, those are the staples of my home and the only things I really "collect."

If it's a space issue, you may think about doing Jan's idea and (if you still want to keep the DVDs you don't watch) putting the unwatched DVDs somewhere else (maybe leave them packed after the big move?). Or convert your collection to slimline cases and/or the folder-y things (with the actual cases stored elsewhere). *shrugs*

[Jayelle]

Or convert your collection to slimline cases and/or the folder-y things (with the actual cases stored elsewhere). *shrugs*

Ooh, yes. If space is your issue, do that. We put all our DVDs in folders for moving here and it saved so much space.

[Gravity Defier]

The problem with keeping track of it is I'm more likely to start watching stuff to justify keeping it. I can honestly say, with the exception of When Harry Met Sally and Star Wars and maybe one or two other things, all my DVDs have sat untouched by me for the last year. My brothers or mom or friends might have borrowed from them but I have not used most of them basically since I got them and watched them the first time. Hell, I have some that I never even gave a first viewing and I know this because they're still in the plastic.


Space is a bit of an issue but also, it's the fact that I will keep just about anything if I can come up with any excuse to do so.

[mr_thebrain]

keep media. my collection is large as well, i wouldn't ever get rid of it. don't know why you would. like you said, you spend good money on it.

uhm why the sudden need to get rid of stuff? remember you probably will have more than just one room in the sometime future... you'll need stuff to fill the space. my suggestion is box stuff up that you don't use every day. if you end up missing it, take it out, if not, keep it in the box(es) if by the time you move into a new place you look in the box and go "meh, why did i have this?" throw it. if you say something like "OMG i remember this..." it's a keeper.

[neo-dragon]

I'd offer my advice but then you'd just insist on not tossing everything and we'd have to agree to disagree.

[Gravity Defier]

uhm why the sudden need to get rid of stuff?

It's not sudden; I get the urge every so often but get so overwhelmed, I stop before I've gotten much accomplished. Some things have made it to charity but mostly, it sits unused.



But yeah, I can tell this is going to be a super easy process.


Can I try another? Old textbooks from my BA. I will never read 99% of those again but didn't sell them back to any stores in college because I was pissed about the disparity in what I paid compared to what I'd get back for them. (Naturally I won't get anything back now but I'm more okay with that, I think, than having sold them back years ago)

[Luet]

I would definitely get rid of the old textbooks.

[mr_thebrain]

oust the textbooks. that's a no-brainer. or give them to a book drive. or a bum for insulation/TP/burning

donate them.

[LilBee91]

Dear Interwebs,
I really want to do some form of internship/volunteer thing next summer. It's probably a little premature to be thinking obsessing over it like I am, but that's just my style.

The problem is that I cannot decide which would be the best: a study abroad, a research institute (NIH or the like), a humanitarian organization, etc. Have any of you done any of the the above? What did you like/dislike about it? Would you do something different if you could?

Research would probably be better for grad school, but I'm already doing research on campus. While I would love to be exposed to a different research environment and explore something a little different, I don't know how unique of an experience it would be. Humanitarian organizations seem great--I seriously considered Habitat for Humanity this last summer--but I don't know if they actually are. And studying abroad is just cool.

Any input or personal experiences?

[powerfulcheese04]

I don't know where you go to school, but my undergrad had a Global Health Initiative that sends students to 3rd world countries to do medical outreach kinds of things. It was AWESOME.

[LilBee91]

I don't know where you go to school, but my undergrad had a Global Health Initiative that sends students to 3rd world countries to do medical outreach kinds of things. It was AWESOME.

My school's nursing program has something like that, and possibly the public health program as well. I think they're pretty exclusive to those majors, but I could look into more.

[LilBee91]

Dear Interwebs,

My roommate has been having issues lately with self-confidence and always worrying about stupid little things and what people think. I was thinking about making her a little worry jar. Kind of like Hannelore's worry hat in QC. Full of little notes with her positive qualities and encouragement, that she can draw from and read whenever she's worrying about stuff. Is that a totally lame idea? What types of things should I put in there? Do you all have any great advice on how to help a person be more confident in their decisions? I really want to help her out, and generally don't struggle with this type of thing much myself, but I'm not sure how to explain what I do to avoid silly, obsessive worries. Any ideas?

[Gravity Defier]

Is that a totally lame idea?

I think it's a very sweet idea.

I might include uplifting quotes, little pictures with a word or short phrase (like, "Smile!" or "You're the best!"), relatively short stories about fun things you've done together, silly suggestions like "Blow some bubbles!" (might want to buy a little thing of bubbles) or "Jump on your bed!"...

I don't know. When my confidence is shaken, I usually need to hear, over and over and over, that I can do something or don't need to do something, depending on what is freaking me out or I just need to be distracted completely and allowed to forget about whatever it is.

[Bean_wannabe]

Have you considered filling the jar with nothing but biscuits? Biscuits do a very good job of alleviating worry. Unless you're worrying about eating too many biscuits...

[steph]

It's not a lame idea. I had a friend make one for me. It was very touching that she'd take the time to do it. (Speaking from experience, though, I'm not likely to believe the things she wrote.)

Another thing I really like is a blanket. It's from you and any time she feels worried or alone or self conscience or having a break down, she can cuddle up with the blanket and know that someone loves and cares about her.

[Syphon the Sun]

Have you considered filling the jar with nothing but biscuits? Biscuits do a very good job of alleviating worry. Unless you're worrying about eating too many biscuits...

Tee hee. He said "biscuits." C is for cookie.

[LilBee91]

Thanks all. I compiled a bunch of quotes and such, but I'll probably add to the jar as I go. Now I just need to find a jar, make it cute, and get bubbles, a coloring book, and some fuzzy socks. I may get a hoody or blanket a bit later, and make this a bit of a more ongoing thing. It probably won't really help any of her issues, but maybe it'll make her day a little brighter, which helps.

Mmm...biscuits.

[Mich]

I always picture "biscuit" cookies more as biscotti, or tiny little, tough scones. Or something.

I always forget about Fishy's location.

[thoughtreader]

Dear internets,
I guess this is where to post this but I swear I should just start a "s*** thats wrong with Teresa this week thread!"
But guess what everybody, There is more s*** wrong with me... wooo!????

So on top of all the other crap I need another shoulder surgery, I had a MRI on Monday and went to the Orthopedist today and good news my Blankart repair held perfectly BUT the SLAP repair didn't heal properly/all the way. So it needs to be reattached. AND I have damage to the long head of my biceps tendon. There are a few different things the Dr. might do to fix it but he will wait to see it during the surgery to decide. So all and all another shoulder surgery for me, second one on this shoulder this year, third ever.
I'm glad that I know that there is indeed still something wrong and that it can be fixed, it sucks to need another surgery. But the fixing means that the pain I've been feeling since my last surgery isn't as good as its going to get.
But man once all is said and done I think I may be off the job for more then a year. I had my first surgery May 3rd, left work they day before and haven't been back, mainly because the the HD is being a pain in the butt and not letting me work, but yeah . It will most likely take a month+ to get my surgery approved by insurance and scheduled. So even if it gets all done by the end of march, they usually don't let you return to even light duty for 6 weeks. All the way into MAY. The home depot has some policy about returning within a year or "else" I really don't know what "else" mean... but I guess I get to wait and see.
Note to self... Be nicer to you shoulders!!!

[LilBee91]

Dear Interwebs (probably more specifically the boys thereof),

I am worried that I committed some terrible social faux pas this weekend. A guy I'd talked to a bit at a church function asked for my number. I gave it to him, since I don't know of a nice way to say no to that. From the bit I talked to him he seems like a nice guy, albeit a little awkward, but I have no interest in him whatsoever. Or anybody else for that matter. I don't have a boyfriend, technically speaking, but I'm pretty sure I'll pursue Boy of Interest come fall. I don't really want to date anyone else in the meantime, because that just seems rude.

Anyway, I did not explain this to the guy who asked for my number because, frankly, it seems a little presumptuous to assume that someone asks for your number solely for the purpose of asking you out at a later date (however true that may be). So, interwebs, the question is: do I simply pray that this guy never calls, screen his calls, or just answer and turn him down if he does call? When a girl gives you her number, how interested do you assume she is? Did I lead this poor guy on horribly?

The good thing about this is that this guy is from the Twin Cities and I'm only here for a couple of months, so it's not like I'll be running into him all that often in my life...

[Luet]

If it were me, I would wait til if/when he calls and actually asks you out. Then tell him thanks but you are already interested in someone else so you aren't available right now.

[Mich]

If it were me, I would wait til if/when he calls and actually asks you out. Then tell him thanks but you are already interested in someone else so you aren't available right now.

I can't believe no guys responded on this one! But yeah. Nomi pretty much has it. In these kind of cases, the best response is probably direct. Unless he seemed like someone who will completely freak out at you for explaining the situation and all that, then screening the calls will probably just lead to you being more annoyed at him in the future.

In any case, it's been, like, a week since this happened, because I've been gone for ten days... So, did he call?

[LilBee91]

In any case, it's been, like, a week since this happened, because I've been gone for ten days... So, did he call?

Nope. Well, he texted me on Wednesday (I think) and asked how my week was going. I don't get cell service at work, so I didn't reply for a few hours, and he never replied so maybe I don't have to worry?

[Wind Swept]

[...] so maybe I don't have to worry?

Famous last words.