Philotic Web

Oh all knowing internet, I humbley seek your potentially insightful advice.

Currently, I've been stressed by a dilemma of sorts that every high school student has and will
eventually feel.

Amidst the crushing weight of peer pressure, I ask for your advice and experience, for a solution to my decision
about this rare event.

Hopefully you can answer fast, as I was about to send a message accepting a prior proposal-invitation to prom, before I realized that despite talking with a friend, I still wasn't sure.

I'm having mixed feelings about whether I want to go to prom.

First of all, the girl I like, that I actually wanted to go with, has a boyfriend that she's already made plans with. I never actually wanted to go to prom, but the chance of spending the whole night partying and having fun with this girl - overrode that that feeling. Alas, that won't be happening.

Second, it's supposed to be a dance. I don't dance. Yet, people have told me that I'm gonna have to learn to dance for the prom (including stupid modern s*** like Stanky Leg). I have no rhythym and am behind on all the modern dances.

Third, it costs alot. How much? I don't know. I just know that I'm going to have to chip in for the beachouse and limo. Maybe even Tuxedo. The tickets.

On the otherhand,

I could go with a girl that already asked me. Though I barely know her, I know some people in her group and have time to get to know her. And her group has pretty much already established stuff like a beach house and a limo.

People tell me it's a once in a lifetime oppurtunity, and since I already have low expectations about it, it's going to be better than I expected.
Someone's told me that most people don't dance and that the dance doesn't even matter at all in the slightest and I won't have to learn to dance.

I'd pretty much have to do no planning whatsoever.

So, I have a dilemma. And you guys possibley have experience and better judgement.

What say you fellow P-webbers?

Oh come on...

I say go. If you don't, you will never understand any of the movie references to prom, you will have missed out on what is actually a once-a-life thing, and you'll be tossing out a chance to have a lot of fun because you're worried you might not. My prom was great, no one knew how to dance, I went with a girl I kind of knew but was mostly a friendly acquaintance with, everyone had fun because everyone knew how awkward it would be, etc., etc., etc. Just don't let it build up in your mind like you already probably have (knowing you), and go with the flow. Spend the money, because you're a high schooler and you're supposed to spend it on things like this. Even if you don't have fun, you'll always be able to groan and reminisce with your friends about how horrible it was, and you'll still be glad you went.

It tends to be the things that we don't do in life that we regret. 10 years from now you'd probably be more likely to say, "boy, I wish I had gone to my prom..." rather than, "I wish I hadn't gone to my prom..."

As for not being able to dance, it's a frickin' high school prom, not a royal ball or something. Everyone on the dance floor is going to look stupid, and no one will care.

I severely doubt it.

Dances aren't and have never been my thing. Parties were in middleschool, but not anymore.

My sister said the same thing about this reunion party I went to a couple of months ago. She was all "you'll always regret it". And after I went, she was like, "see, I stopped you from making a mistake you'd regret the rest of your life"
My reply was, "no you didn't. Wasn't worth it."

Of course, the prom and a reunion party aren't really on the same level. But I have a feeling the end result will be very much the same.

Requisite Pretty in Pink quote:

My girlfriend always has that feeling that something's missing. She checks her pockets, checks her purse, counts her kids, but nothing's gone. She decided it was side effects from not going to her prom.

And now that I've said that...I did not go to my prom, either junior or senior year. I do not regret not going. I do feel lame for no one asking me but that is not the same bad feeling as regret and having gone to three other formal dances alone, I know I didn't miss out on anything by choosing to skip going to prom stag. I also can truthfully say that I do in fact regret wasting my time and money on two of the three formals I went to. Maybe I'd feel differently now if I had dates to them, which it seems like you will have if you want it. Just thought I'd throw it out there that not everyone goes and we live to tell the story.

I would say, however, if even a tiny part of you wants to go, then go. If none of you wants to go, don't try to force it.

I would say, however, if even a tiny part of you wants to go, then go. If none of you wants to go, don't try to force it.

Agreed.

I went stag, but I still had fun. In fact, I was the only one in my group of friends who actually liked the food.

I probably should have grown a spine and asked a certain someone though... I was an idiot back in high school. Who am I kidding? I haven't changed a bit!

I would say, however, if even a tiny part of you wants to go, then go. If none of you wants to go, don't try to force it

I agree with Alea.

I went to my prom stag, but I think proms are a bit different in Canada (and ten years ago). I had a blast just hanging out with my friends and there were tons of other things to do besides dance. What I'm not really getting from your post is - do you have a group of friends you usually hang out with that are going? People you can hang with that aren't so "date-y"? Cause if you do, it might be fun, if you don't, there might be too much pressure.

But, don't let anyone tell you that you HAVE to go. You don't have to regret it either. There are plently of opportunities to have fun in your life. A prom may be technically a "once in a lifetime" thing, but you never know where good memories are going to come from.

My best end-of-high-school memory has nothing to do with prom/grad, it was going on a group camping trip the day school ended.

It really depends on the situation. If you have a date/group of friends that are going and you are going to have fun with then go. If not, then who cares? Also, you don't have to know how to dance to cut loose and have a good time. Once you get over the "this is awkward, I have no rhythm, everyone is staring at me thing" dancing is actually pretty fun. Because to be honest; its not awkward, nobody is staring and... well you probably don't have any rhythm. Now this is coming from the whitest white boy out there, rhythm is not hard to fake. But the fun of dancing is to either laugh at your friends stupid dance moves while they laugh at yours or to get close to a girl. If neither of these are going to happen, then maybe prom isn't for you. But the best part, is definitely the after party. You get a weekend to hang out with your friends, in a different environment with (assuming) no parental supervision. And maybe you get drunk (Underage drinking! *gasp*) or get laid (Premarital sex! *double gasp*) or get into to some other possibly illegal shenanigans (*faints*). And if that's not your scene, they you get to hang out with your friends and do whatever it is you do for fun. So it really depends on who you are going to be hanging out with and how much fun you are capable of having with those people. Only you can be the judge of that.

I agree with the if you think you care about it at all, you do care approach. I personally did not go to prom and had no interest. I ended up eating pizza with my "date" and one of my best friends and playing weird video games my brother lent us. It was pretty memorable...even if my "date" mistakenly thought for the longest time that I liked him..

I personally did not go to prom and had no interest. I ended up eating pizza with my "date" and one of my best friends and playing weird video games my brother lent us. It was pretty memorable...even if my "date" mistakenly thought for the longest time that I liked him..

I went to a double feature (back when they still had those) of The Forsaken and Freddy Got Fingered and got Jack n The Box with a friend.

The more you post, the more I think you are a kindred spirit. Please don't freak out if I declare my undying love for you by the end of the year.

Just brush up on moves like the sprinkler, the shopping cart, hammer time, dice shaker, running man, etc. You'll be fine.

I went; it was okay. After-prom was a blast, though.

i didn't go. still doesn't bother me one little bit. never will. not my kind of thing.

but i'm a bit antisocial.

I went to mine; I didn't (have to) dance. (My friend-date was cool like that, though I do have to wonder if she just said she didn't want to because I obviously didn't.)

I dunno, I might mildly regret going to mine since it was a waste of time, but mildly enough that it didn't really make a difference either way. But the awkwardness of going may have been less than the awkwardness of not-going if that makes sense, so... eh.

dancing_bear.gif

I think that's the first time I've seen that without the pedobear head...

I went to my junior prom. I did it the cheap way and borrowed a dress, but that doesn't really make it any cheaper for the guy. It was alright. It made for good stories. Though I had more fun before/after prom than at the actual dance.
Senior year I made the much better choice of seeing Spamalot instead. But I had a significant other. We'd done the prom thing junior year, and once was enough for both of us.
I say go unless you have some better alternative. There's always a chance you'll have a great time, so just go for it.

As someone from a cultural background without proms (or middle/highschool parties/dances for that matter), i never really got to understand what's so memorable about them.
Isn't just a dance with people you will never see again (hopefully)?

Isn't just a dance with people you will never see again (hopefully)?

Oh yes, and it has become especially irrelevant in the days of Facebook/etc. By my high school graduation, nearly everyone I would have wanted to keep in contact with was on it, so its like, why go to these one off, incredibly boring events during which I would wish I had spent my dress money on RAM or a bigger hard drive? My high school usually has senior prom on a military base because they are so cheap. (Though, one of my years though was at the Air & Space museum. I kind of wish I had gone for that).

Wow, I am so cynical at 1 am This is coming from a person who was goaded into attending their high school graduation the day of, skipped out on university one, and now awkwardly runs into high school best friends while walking their dog on sporadic trips home...

I did it the cheap way and borrowed a dress, but that doesn't really make it any cheaper for the guy.

Assuming he has a nice black suit, most of the kids there probably wouldn't even know the difference.

I did it the cheap way and borrowed a dress, but that doesn't really make it any cheaper for the guy.

Assuming he has a nice black suit, most of the kids there probably wouldn't even know the difference.

Yeah, I just wore a black suit for my senior prom. Bought a new tie for it, but I'll use almost any excuse to by a new tie. I wonder if ties are a dying fashion item, because this year I have found that most of the people in my class in college (business majors, engineers, graphics students alike) don't know how to tie one.

Um, in high school I went to six proms, total. Some of them were magical, some of them were horrendous, but there's not a single one I regret attending.

If nothing else, it's good practice for attending weddings later in life!

I ended up going, even though up until a week before I had absolutely NO intention of it. I never went to a single other dance, had spent nearly all of my school years up until my late junior-senior year feeling like a crazy loner reject, and didn't have anybody to go with as a date. However, a guy I'd become friends with that year working in the office suddenly ended up with no date (she'd been grounded or something), and the two girls we worked with in office applied a little pressure, and so I ended up going.

And it was definitely a lot of fun. I was surprised. At that point, I did have a few friends I knew I'd be able to hang out with, and everyone's feeling all nostalgic and happy and less-cliquey than normal, and afterprom was a blast. (At my school, after prom, you either went to the school sponsored afterprom or you rented hotel rooms and partied and got utterly wasted. Either was socially acceptable. I went the non-alcoholic route.)

(And, then, when it was all over, I ended up getting locked out of my best friend's house on her concrete porch at dawn and couldn't wake anyone up to let me in, and hallucinated that I saw my childhood cat that had been dead for several years, and walked home and completely crashed. Well, probably not actually hallucinated. There probably was actually a white cat I saw out of the corner of my eye. But, yeah. I was exhausted.)

Anyways, cat-related psychotic phenomena aside, I'm glad I went, I'm glad I have the memories, and I probably wouldn't have regretted it if I did not go.

Okay, thanks for all the advice.
Especially GD
"I would say, however, if even a tiny part of you wants to go, then go. If none of you wants to go, don't try to force it."
However, update: The girl who previously asked me has already found another date.
Since I don't even feel like going to the prom, the idea of not only going but also having to set up all the other stuff, pushes me towards the choice of not going.

However, you guys have convinced me that I should at least go to one of the prom after-parties. I have to wear a tux/vest/goodformalwear and ect. for that too?

Not necessarily. We changed clothes afterwards for the afterprom. Something reasonably nice, but casual. But it might depend on where you're going. Ask around.

I went with my group of friends and my "friend-date" ended up winning prom king, so I would say it was pretty memorable for me.

It as basically just a bunch of hanging out and everyone looking stupid while pretending to know how to dance.

If your friends are going you should too! Life is short , ya get old fast , make all the memories you can you're gonna need em !

Okay, so Prom's tomorrow.

Currently, I have two options:
1. Some good friends aren't going to prom as well. Apparently, "Prom is lame, no one's going". And, they're simply going to go together to some afterparty. I don't know whose afterparty.

I could go with them.

2. Arguably, my best/closest friend, the one I've known the longest, isn't going to Prom. And, I doubt he's going to a party.

So I could spend the day hanging with him at his house. Playing games, watching tv, ect. Pretty much acting like it's a normal day, and it really is to me. Since I don't give a f*** about school dances or social pressures.

I'm leaning towards two because I went through some surgery, which makes it slightly painful to move. Even more painful to be in certain positions and do certain actions. And, I'm guessing the party that they're going to is going to be the drunk, wild type. Pretty sure based on their crowd.
Hypothetically, if it got busted and I had to run - I wouldn't be able to...
If I had to run for any reason at all - I wouldn't be able to...

Hypothetically, if I managed to hook up with someone - I wouldn't be able to... you know...

Option 2 seems the smartest.

Pretty much acting like it's a normal day, and it really is to me. Since I don't give a f*** about school dances or social pressures.

This makes it sound like you care a lot. Just sayin'.

It sounds like you've already made up your mind on two, and are possibly posting to get people to say "go to your senior prom! It's a once in a lifetime thing!" because surprisingly, that's actually something a lot of people like to hear when they're not going. I don't really understand it, but I know a number of people who really love hearing it and having people try to convince them.

But like I said, just sayin'.

Posted to conclude this thread. I mean, from the beginning it was about my future decision about Prom. It just makes sense, to me, to conclude it about the actual decision.

Neither option includes going to Prom ('-' )

...People have already said those things. In this thread and at school.

/thread
(^signifies the end of a thread)

Last post.

Last post.

Pfft. Like you have the chops to kill this thread; you're not even trying.


In honor of the prom theme: *pulls a Carrie and uses telekinesis to set the thread on fire*

from the beginning it was about my future decision about Prom. I didn't expect some kind of Spanish Inquisition...

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!



Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....
Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....
Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....
Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

Pretty much acting like it's a normal day, and it really is to me. Since I don't give a f*** about school dances or social pressures.

This makes it sound like you care a lot. Just sayin'.

I'm going to be honest here. Pointing that out makes you sound a little like a bitch. Just saiyan.

Just super-saiyan.

FTFY

...



Can's stop watching this gif... somebody help me!