Philotic Web

My throat hurts and pathetically, I'm crying like a little baby (seriously).

God. I guess I should get ready for work now. At least working the evening won't feel so awful, given it allowed me to watch this one.

[-] I had the most horrible, emotionally damaging nightmare ever. Even though it looks really lame and stupid on paper, it was SO UPSETTING. I am a wreck.

[-] I overslept and didn't have time to wash my hair in the shower this morning, so it is a total rats nest. I look feral.

[-] I forgot my ID badge for work and had to go through the pain in the ass song and dance to get a temporary badge that won't let me in anywhere anyway.

[-] I forgot my yoga mat so I had to use one of the old community ones in class today, which just grosses me out.

[-] I got an upsetting email from my father this morning out of nowhere about how I am apparently emotionally distant when we talk on the phone now and he is hurt by what he interprets as me shutting him out. We are super close, and this comes out of total left field for me because I have NO IDEA WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. I certainly haven't intended to shut him out, and can't think of a time recently when I may have done so.

[-] I gained three pounds back in one week, when it took me practically three times that long to lose them. UGH.





[+] my yoga instructor said I am graceful and a joy to teach.

Otherwise, today totally sucks ass.

Thumbs up: Free ticket to the Cardinals v. Diamondbacks tomorrow.
Thumbs down: I have to work while I'm there.

Thumbs Up: I just got off the phone with my little brother. This has become a somewhat regular, weekly occurrence and no small part of that is because he wants to talk to me about a girl.

Thumbs Up: He is coming this weekend, most likely.

Thumbs Down: I still work Saturdays, so no real chance to watch World Cup together. I miss him telling me to shut up and sit down when I get too excited.

Thumbs Up: I still get to hang out with him and since my mom won't be in town, we'll have more chances to talk about stuff.

Thumbs Down: My mom will also be out of town for the entire month of August, so barring the time I'm in CO, I'm fearful of what my life will look like that month.

Thumbs Down: July will see another coworker gone for vacation, so I have to help cover the Info desk (worst part of my job ever), meaning July looks sucky, too.

Thumbs Up: I got stuff done today and tomorrow morning is my class, so at least I have small stuff to be happy about in the mean time.

Thumbs Down: One of my small things is going away very, very soon

Thumbs up- Schools over

Thumbs up-Mom is usually gone from home

Thumbs down- One point away from High Honor Roll

Thumbs down- N0 High Honor Roll=no texting.

Thumbs down- I don't get to see my girlfriend now that school is over.

Thumbs up- Every couple weeks we go somewhere.

Thumbs up- Olympic pool is reserved for My mom, the owner, and me.

I guess its mixed right now.

Up: I am watching one of my favorite movies which I just bought because I found it used and of course had to watch it again.
(A total misreading of the movie "The Graduate")
Up: Connie Willis! Though I felt really a bit apologetic for the amount of frustration I had over Blackout just ending, because she spent a good five minutes discussing the issue and people's reactions. Oh.
Up: Gluten Free Mozarella Sticks were MMMMMM.
Down: My apartment now smells like them.
Down: I am paying for my paperwork procrastination.
Eh: I can't seem to say no to my boss when she asks if I can work certain other hours.
Eh: A twelve year old tried to write "hi" on my arm with a broken ruler and now I have three small cuts on it. Dude.
Eh: I realized my unnecessary and somewhat unwelcome attraction (even if his long term relationship is much more on the fritz than he originally told me) to one of my close friends comes from the fact he's the only male nerd who I also like to go out and um, party with, that I am still in touch with. And while our fantasy of living in the Mission District and pretending to be the older incarnations of the main characters in that Cory Doctorow novel will probably not come to fruition, at least we thought about it.
Oh: I think my younger co-worker is cute. I am pretty certain he may like me back so I have tried to let him know how many life changes I've been though he hasn't. Like college. And senior prom....

Thumbs Up: I have work.
Thumbs Down: It's really dull work.
Thumbs Down: It's also cold and dreary out (and I work outside).
Thumbs Up: I have tea to make up for it.

Up: Connie Willis! Though I felt really a bit apologetic for the amount of frustration I had over Blackout just ending, because she spent a good five minutes discussing the issue and people's reactions. Oh.

Oooh! What did she say??

Eh: I can't seem to say no to my boss when she asks if I can work certain other hours.

Um... I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9:00, that would be great. Mm-kay? Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Uh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, 'kay? We, um, lost some people this week and uh, we need to sort of play catch-up. Thanks.

Up: I am watching one of my favorite movies which I just bought because I found it used and of course had to watch it again.
(A total misreading of the movie "The Graduate")

This movie...is it a story of boys meets girl, but not a love story?

Thumbs up: Going home on lunch break
Thumbs down: Having to go back to work

Thumbs up: making money
Thumbs down: double shifts
Thumbs up: Whistler! Woo!
Thumbs down: too tired to eat

Thumbs down: Random nose bleed at work yesterday. Luckily it didn't get on my clothes because I had hours left.
Thumbs up: Awesome 3 hour dinner with co-worker last evening with ~really deep/good conversation~ and good food.
Thumbs down: I wasn't really careful about what I ate and so I ended up throwing up in the middle of the night.
Thumbs up: Farmer's market strawberries! And cherries!
Thumbs down: I need to feel human again because the course I'm taking to help me ~decide my future~ has homework I am not quite done with...due tonight.
Thumbs up: 12 days.

Thumbs up: Will and I Have the house to ourselves for over a week!
Thumbs down: I work most of the week.
Thumbs up: My mom's annoying dog is staying with my sister, so I only have the cool dog to look after!

Thumbs up: I went for my second run this week.
Thumbs down: I felt like I was going to die.
Thumbs up: I felt good about myself after.
Thumbs down: Since I'm trying to learn to run better, and doing that requires me to do POSE running, my calf muscles and the balls of my feet hurt like hell.
Thumbs up: My shins don't hurt. I'd rather skin and muscle which can toughen up and take the abuse hurt rather than bone which is much slower to toughen up and more likely to become injured hurt.
Thumbs down: Other stuff. Which I refuse to talk about, because I'm probably just being stupid, and I don't want to be more stupid and talk about it.

Thumbs down: I had to work Canada day, which makes my week a six-day week.
Thumbs up: That does wonders for my pay cheque this pay period.

Thumbs down: I posted months ago about my mom's boyfriend moving in and that didn't happen then, as planned, but it's definitely happening tonight. The last time she had a boyfriend move in, I was living in Tucson but just visiting for a week drove me crazy.

Thumbs up: He listened to my idea about renovating her bathroom and has insisted he will be doing it. I plan to tell him about the kitchen idea next because I know it's a good idea.

Thumbs down: He makes me uncomfortable. Good thing I like my room, I guess.

Thumbs up: My mom likes him, so hopefully he'll be around when I plan to move out.

Thumbs down: In the never-ending drama that is the life of my nieces, they are in Phoenix again.

Thumbs...?: But a report has been filed with CPS and custody papers are being drawn up.

Thumbs down: The brother I gave money to is going to Disneyland in August. With what money?! Right, right. My Chicago money.

Thumbs up: I can work out all this frustration at class tonight. And if that doesn't do the trick, it's onto the treadmill for me after.

[+] I have finally decided what I want to do to celebrate my birthday next week. I want to go to the Dakota Jazz Club.

[-] The acts performing on my birthday, as well as the days before and after my birthday are not true jazz acts--they're placeholders due to the weekend-long Dakota festival held that weekend, which will be full of tourists and annoying as hell. I don't want to see a sub-par psuedo Jazz act on my birthday. I'd rather wait and see a good act.

[-] which basically means I still don't have plans for my birthday.

Thumbs up: I went for my ultrasound today and everything is fine, plus we got to see little Electric Boogaloo moving around in there. Little face! Little hands! Tiny heartbeat!

Thumbs down: After much debate, we had planned to find out the gender of this baby, so we would know what clothes to bring to St. John's with us, but the hospital we were at apparently doesn't tell. Boo.

Thumbs up: in the last 5 minutes of the workday, I scored a number (was given, rather than asked for) and it took zero effort on my part. Cute, gorgeous eyes.

Thumbs down: I don't think Heidi is what I'm looking for.

Thumbs whichever way: While Heidi isn't my type, maybe it's time I took the local ban off.

Thumbs down: Because what I told Goat, about situational appearances and worthwhile...opportunities, was wrong.

Thumbs up: At least temporarily, my chat is back on the Circ desk. With any luck, it'll stick around and I'll get some company this Thursday night.

Thumbs up: Raise!!! Seriously, it kind of rocks. Even though it's a tiny one - 2.5%, lol. But I've only been there 5 months!!

Thumbs down: Movie cancelled. We rescheduled for tomorrow since he still isn't out of work for the day yet, and it seems like he won't be for another couple hours.

Thumbs up: A night of Buffy!

Thumbs down: A Friday night in my apartment alone.

Up: I put just the right amount of cardamom in my sugar cookies. I find cardamom such a delicate, delicate thing that getting it so you can taste just the hint of it but not enough that it's staging a hostile takeover of your tastebuds is really hard. I'm so pleased with the results!

Down: I didn't measure, of course, so I have no idea how much I actually used.

Up: It all depends on the freshness of the pods anyway, so it's not like a measurement would give me more than a rough idea.

Down: I have to work tonight, and there's the bridal shower I gotta be at in the evening.

Down: Insomnia and weird dreams.

Down: Don't have enough time to sleep, finish baking for the shower, and go to church, so I have to pick two outta three.

+I'm in France
-It's far too hot
+There's a swimming pool
-You have to wear trunks, and I have none
+There's a load of shops nearby to buy trunks from
- It's Sunday and everything is closed
+Unlocked wi-fi network
-Only an iPod to use on it
+I can get trunks tomorrow
-There are 800 people here so the chances of our group getting to book the pool again is remote

Overall, bugger

Thumbs up: Got my scanner and it's working!

Thumbs up: Portland on Sunday!

Thumbs up: Blueberry pound cake that Nicole made.

[+] Interview tomorrow!

[-] have to take copyediting test at the interview.

[+] I now own a blender!

[+] Zumba class tonight!

[-] Zumba class tonight.

[+] new smartphone (my first), with which I am in love!

[+] due to my financial prowess, David and I got 2 Droids for a total of $50!

[-] my obsession with my phone is probably a bit much, and I'm already annoyed with how much I spend playing on it.

[+] - Facial today! I feel pampered and awesome

[+] - Gym with a friend of mine tomorrow

[-] - Gym with a friend of mine tomorrow (Gyms are slightly awkward with friends, as you get all sticky and icky and gross.)

[-] - Still no major weekend plans! C'mon people; get back to me!

[+] - Training is going well, and I'll have more responsibilities tomorrow.

[+] Friday's paycheck will reflect my RAISE!

Thumbs Up: I have some training to go to the Monday before Denver, so they'll owe me a day off. We'll just add that vacation time back to the pile.

Thumbs Down: I'm physically drained and started the day that way; I wasn't sure I was going to make it biking in.

Thumbs Up: The people from the shelving company brought in the panels for my shelves that have been sitting unfinished for two years.

Thumbs Down: They were the wrong panels.

Thumbs Up: Hey, they can at least center the things!

Thumbs Down: Just kidding. They're bolted down and didn't have the right tools on hand. We figured this out after I removed all the books. I now have to put them back.

Thumbs up: I spoke with someone about a job through the Christmas season at their retail store, and they sounded very optimistic.

Thumbs down: That means I'll be at the car wash until at least October, even assuming this works out.

Also, I wish we had better inter-city transit so that I could go to job opportunities elsewhere.

Thumbs up: more work is around the corner!

Thumbs up: my boss called me today to specifically tell me the page I had worked on was super-awesome and I did great while she was away.

Thumbs down: two hours later I got an e-mail with many complaints, from my boss, about the page, and some comments that I took to be very condescending about when to use JPGs and when to use PNGs and implying that I should have known some things about the project that I was pretty sure were completely contradictory to what I was told.

Grrrr. That secret, other job that I've applied for should get back to me, so I can finally have "waiting to know if I need to move again" stress can finally be settled.

[+] it's Friday!!!!

[-] No plans for tonight. I need to work on my shy-ness.

[+] Lush party this weekend!

[-] Need to clean my apartment and take my car in

+ It's Friday.
- My hardest practice of the week is today.
-I still had to wake up early.

+ Tomorrow is Saturday.
- Still have to get up early to run (stupid conditioning).

+ Yay! I'm one of the fastest on the team!
- I'm so sore from working hard, I coudn't feel my legs when I first sat down.

- School is coming up.
- I still have three book reports to do.
+ I'm smart.
- But not as sharp as I was at the end of the year. *sigh* I wish I had done some extra math or something, just to refresh myself.

-Still in braces.
-Still have acne.
-Still a teenager going through puberty.


...All in all, my life is doing pretty well.

Thumbs up: I have work to go to.
Thumbs down: I have to go to work.

"Think of England, think of England..."

-The bonfire was cancelled for tonight
+More time to catch up on writing

Thumbs down: No Portland today.
Thumbs up: Portland tomorrow.

^ New music
^ lots of reading
^ progress on the whole stuff/job/etc thing
- It all makes me think of him
v even if I asked he'd say no to lunch even if I stop on my way to SF
v I hate that I care still