Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

[Rei]

Thumbs up: Holding my ground, not raising my voice, and not giving an inch while he continued to be mad about things (up to and including me continually and calmly calling him sir) until he finally left.

Thumbs up: My legs waiting until I was out of sight to go wibbly.

Good for you! How did you do it? I am not good at staying calm when someone is mad at me - I either burst into tears or start yelling back. Also I don't stay calm when I get mad at someone else. Something I'm working on!

I'm not sure how I managed it, really. I just knew that if I gave an inch, he would have won. And I knew that what he was doing was Wrong. Also, I knew from before that he was a deliberate ass, so when I saw him walking towards me with a very determined step, I wasn't expecting anything good.

[Nehali Sophia]

I'm not sure how I managed it, really. I just knew that if I gave an inch, he would have won. And I knew that what he was doing was Wrong. Also, I knew from before that he was a deliberate ass, so when I saw him walking towards me with a very determined step, I wasn't expecting anything good.

It sounds like you had a moment to steel yourself before the tirade started. I hope that the next time I'm in a situation like this, that I'm aware of that moment - where you're aware of what might happen and choose how you're going to handle it.

I can only yell back if it's family. Anyone else, I'll probably silently walk off unless it's a work situation; if it's at work, I can maintain composure but I usually do so by starting to check out.

Checking out sounds like it would be a better option than yelling or crying, for me. But I might not hear any valid questions (as opposed to the rhetorical ones) and then get in even more trouble. Unless, I can figure out how to check out of the emotions of the situation and just focus on the issues.

[Petrie]

Checking out sounds like it would be a better option than yelling or crying, for me. But I might not hear any valid questions (as opposed to the rhetorical ones) and then get in even more trouble.

As soon as someone escalates a situation to the point where they're speaking to me out of that much anger, or literally yelling at me, they've usually lost the ability to make rational points and they've definitely lost the right of my attention and respect.

If it happens at work, I listen as they air their frustrations but as soon as I state our policy and they still repeat their grievances, remaining silent and checking out of the conversation is like removing the oxygen to a fire; before long, it dies on its own. That doesn't mean I won't try to deescalate but there is a point where people just want to be angry and are going to keep being angry, no matter what you can or can't do to help them. In those situations, any response you give is going to give them an excuse to keep ripping into you. Yep, checking out is preferable.

[Rei]

Also, so long as you remain calm, anybody and everybody who sees and hears the incident will be on your side. It doesn't matter what the issue is, if you keep your cool, people will look at the other person as the Big Bad Wolf. This is a consoling thing for me in those situations

[Luet]

+ Went to a new Psych NP and switched antidepressants
- After the second visit, I really, really dislike her
+ The new med has magically reduced my bladder pain by 75%
- It has also exacerbated my finger picking which I had gotten under control
+ I have a script for six months worth
- I'm supposed to go back in 6 weeks but since I dislike her and have a $50, I want to cancel
+ I think I can get my PCP to prescribe it, if I decide to stay on it

[Petrie]

Thumbs Up: Lunch with mom (she came from across town to join us) and little brother

Thumbs Up: Dinner (Chinese!) and then 2.5 hours of NFL network with dad and little brother.

Thumbs Down: I am introvert. I've had next to no awake downtime and less sleep than I'm used to barring any changes of scenery or living situations. I'm f****** tired. I keep saying that but I am. I'm so, so tired.

Thumbs Up: Tomorrow is Saturday, so it's almost the weekend. They tend to be quiet days at work, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Thumbs Up & Down: I feel obligated to do as much as I can while my brother is here since I'll miss being able to do things with someone who actually likes my company when he leaves.

Thumbs Down: Sunday is a family birthday party for my youngest niece. I'm so overwhelmed from how much face-time I've had with people in general that I really don't want to go and share in awkward times with people I don't really like. That would be the S-I-L's family and friends, for the record.

[Eaquae Legit]

Thumbs Up & Down: I feel obligated to do as much as I can while my brother is here since I'll miss being able to do things with someone who actually likes my company when he leaves.

I get like that a LOT. Every time I visit family or home, it feels like there's a zillion people I want to visit or see, and there's never enough time and I never get enough sleep.

Thumbs Down: Sunday is a family birthday party for my youngest niece. I'm so overwhelmed from how much face-time I've had with people in general that I really don't want to go and share in awkward times with people I don't really like. That would be the S-I-L's family and friends, for the record.

*hugs* It sucks to be peopled-out. I hope you get some quiet time soon.

[Petrie]

Thumbs Down: Sunday is a family birthday party for my youngest niece. I'm so overwhelmed from how much face-time I've had with people in general that I really don't want to go and share in awkward times with people I don't really like. That would be the S-I-L's family and friends, for the record.

*hugs* It sucks to be peopled-out. I hope you get some quiet time soon.

Thank you for this response. I hate being made to feel anti-social and freakish because I get drained by too much interaction with people. I don't dislike people (seriously I don't, even if I joke about it), I just can't be around them all day at work with the level of attention they demand and then come home and keep being so ON.

I told my brother I needed some rest, of the quiet night at home variety (even from my dad, who I love but is not in that elite group of people I can be comfortable doing nothing with and not talking to) and he totally outdid himself. He took me to the store to get my craft stuff, then dropped me off so I wouldn't have to go to another store, and got stuff to make me dinner so I didn't have to eat Honey Bunches of Oats (I happily would have).

I'm chowing down on chicken alfredo and Battlestar Galactica is being put on. After dinner, I'll have strawberry popsicles (with real strawberry!).

[Jayelle]

Thank you for this response. I hate being made to feel anti-social and freakish because I get drained by too much interaction with people. I don't dislike people (seriously I don't, even if I joke about it), I just can't be around them all day at work with the level of attention they demand and then come home and keep being so ON.

You know, that is the EXACT definition of introvert. It's not about being outgoing, it's where you get your energy from. I tend towards shyness, but my energy comes from being around people - so I'm an extrovert.

[Eaquae Legit]

Amen to that. I can act very "on" and extroverted, but that's only because in the past I put a lot of effort into overcoming shyness. But the time comes when I can't keep it up any longer and I banish everyone from my presence. The more time I spend around people I'm less close to, the harder it is to even be around people I am close to.

Collectively I refer to other people (especially when I'm feeling introverted) as "The Voices". "I need to escape from The Voices for a while" or "Work was really bad for The Voices today".

Sometimes, when it's really, really bad, I have trouble even speaking. I just lose all desire or inclination to speak, and it's not even conscious. I forget that I haven't asked a question or said something, because well, I thought it, didn't I? Oh right, other people can't read my mind. I can be near-silent for days.

Strangely, I can IM when I'm feeling introverted. Somehow, it's a different brain-circuit. Also for sign language, I've found. I really need to get more serious about learning to sign, since it's a way to communicate when I'm reluctant to speak.




Ummm....

Thumbs up: Hermits United. Want to form our own North American chapter?

Thumbs down: Incomprehensible and contradictory expectations.

[Dr. Mobius]

"I need to escape from The Voices for a while" or "Work was really bad for The Voices today".

You do realize that can be misconstrued as something else entirely, right?

I'm the same way with IM. I've always been more comfortable in IM chat rooms than I am with the spoken language. Though in my case, I think it's just simply because it's easier to make myself understood with text. I have a tendency to get a little tongue tied when I speak, while with text I can edit that stuff out before I send it.

[Eaquae Legit]

Oh yes. That is not a small part of the amusement I derive from the phrase.

I don't know where I got it from. I just remember using it. I think I picked it up from my mom, who may have used it once or twice. Who knows.

[Petrie]

Sometimes, when it's really, really bad, I have trouble even speaking. I just lose all desire or inclination to speak, and it's not even conscious. I forget that I haven't asked a question or said something, because well, I thought it, didn't I? Oh right, other people can't read my mind. I can be near-silent for days.

Huh. While I'm not surprised by this and the idea that it's related to introversion, I guess I never stopped to consider how much is the introversion and how much is just my personality in general. I don't need to be in a tough place to be near-silent for long stretches of time.

It can be hard to interpret me for those unfamiliar with my moods because happy or content = silent, annoyed = silent, angry = silent, sad = silent, tired = silent, thinking = silent. Unless poked or prodded in some way, then it leaks out but typically only family does this. But then, they recognize the faces I'm making and know what they mean, and start trying to fix the annoyed/angry/sad, which just annoys/angers me more because if I wanted their help -which I don't- I'd ask for it. I just want to sit there and stew over it and fix it in my own head.

I'm the same way with IM. I've always been more comfortable in IM chat rooms than I am with the spoken language. Though in my case, I think it's just simply because it's easier to make myself understood with text. I have a tendency to get a little tongue tied when I speak, while with text I can edit that stuff out before I send it.

This is part of why I hate being asked "What are you thinking right now?" I've always struggled a bit with getting thoughts to mouth and having them be coherent, let alone audible (apparently, I'm soft-spoken). With IM, it buys me time to make sure it makes as much sense as possible, which I admit usually isn't that much more than had I said it aloud.

The other reason I hate that question is that my thinking never turns off. I hear men can do that but I really can't.


Anyway...overshare #2 in as many days and in the wrong darn thread.

Thumbs Up: Being understood.
Thumbs Down: Still feeling a little weirder than the average person.

[Eaquae Legit]

Thumbs up: more shifts!
Thumbs down: now working Dec 24, 25, 26
Thumbs up: traded my 3-10pm for a 7am-3pm on the 24th, so I can go to church
Thumbs down: I miss out on the double-and-a-half because of the trade
Thumbs up: I can go to midnight mass!

[Young Val]

This is part of why I hate being asked "What are you thinking right now?"

I knew a girl who ALWAYS answered this question with some variation of "I'm thinking about whether or not it's possible/advisable/uncomfortable/whatever to have sex _______________" with the blank always filled in with whatever she and the person asking her what she was thinking were doing. So, if they were driving in a car she would say "I'm wondering whether or not it's possible to have sex while driving a car." etc.

I asked her once why she always said that, and she said that 95% percent of the time she was asked that question, it was asked by a guy who thought it was deep and romantic. Any response about sex would immediately embarass him and shut himm up, and more importantly, prevent himm from asking her again. The other 5% of the time, she said, it was just funny.

[Mich]

Thumbs up: Portland, in general. Really. I just can't think of anything specific right now because I'm annoyed.
Thumbs down: stupid ways that Portland and Oregon inconvenience me or psyche me out. Like pumping gas! I want to pump my own gas. It's much faster when you don't have to wait for a single person pumping the gas to travel between each car, and you also don't pull into a gas station and find out that it's closing. When you can pump your own gas, they don't close. It just doesn't happen. And that's stupid. I'm also kind of scared to bike anywhere, because it seems to me there's so much more responsibility to it: it's not a recreation or an advanced form of pedestrian, it's competition for cars, and that just scares me. Bikes are not accepted on sidewalks, but that's where I'm comfortable, because bike lanes tend to be in very scary places (like the middle of a two-lane road! WHAT THE HECK?) or non-existent, and I just don't want to compete with cars. So I don't bike anywhere. And that's annoying.

[Rei]

Wait, they put the bike lanes in the middle of the road?! O_o

I'm almost never fazed by biking in busy areas and that would freak me out. I mean, at least it's a lot harder to be doored, but still!

[Luet]

They do that in California in some areas, too.

[ender1]

I make sure I get gas in Vancouver so I don't have to worry about someone pumping my gas.

[Petrie]

I believe the only times you'll find bike lanes in Tucson away from the curb is if there's a separate right turn lane; then it's between that turn lane and the furthermost right lane that's heading straight past the light.

Then again, there may be one on Speedway between separate left turn lanes and the furthermost left lane that's heading straight past the light.

I don't think I'd be brave enough to ride a bike in either Tucson or Phoenix, though. Phoenix being the red light running capital of the US and Tucson seemingly trying to steal that title, or at least title for worst drivers in the US...no thanks.

[Rei]

I make sure I get gas in Vancouver so I don't have to worry about someone pumping my gas.

I forget that you guys have a place called Vancouver, too. Unless you mean Vancouver, BC, in which case, why did I never know you were so close to BC?

[Eaquae Legit]

Thumbs Up: Bought our advent candles today
Thumbs Up: And our Christmas cards
Thumbs Up: And mom sent me the advent readings
Thumbs Up: Someone special booked her flights today
Thumbs Down: Long day tomorrow, double-shifter
Thumbs Up: Love the people I'm working with

[Mich]

I make sure I get gas in Vancouver so I don't have to worry about someone pumping my gas.

I forget that you guys have a place called Vancouver, too. Unless you mean Vancouver, BC, in which case, why did I never know you were so close to BC?

I keep forgetting we have one, too, so don't feel alone. I mean, I live about ten minutes (with good traffic) from it.

[Petrie]

Thumbs Up: Finished another book today. Finally. It was 11 days since my last book completion.
Thumbs Up: Cinnamon roll for breakfast. Yummy.
Thumbs Up: Yard done for the week.
Thumbs Up: House to myself for a few more hours.

Thumbs Down: Cramps in the general internal woman parts region.
Thumbs Up: Not so bad, really, and I've been expecting them. Plus, I dropped a pound that I figured was related. If only the other three would follow.

Thumbs Down: Dentist appointment tomorrow morning at 8AM.
Thumbs Down: I hate having appointments on my "weekend."
Thumbs Down: I paid for Harry Potter tickets using dentist funds, so now I'm short $6.50

Thumbs Up: Chargers play tomorrow
Thumbs Up: Walking Dead tonight

Thumbs Up: Only three days at work this upcoming week and one of the days off means I am getting out of working an evening

Thumbs Down: I'm getting majorly stressed out about gift-giving for my family. I know them all, some better than others, but I have always and will always suck at what I consider required and expected gift-giving.

[Luet]

Thumbs down: Our PS3 (which is also our bluray player) just died.
Thumbs up: We can afford to replace it.
Thumbs down: Still, bummer.

[Petra456]

I make sure I get gas in Vancouver so I don't have to worry about someone pumping my gas.

I forget that you guys have a place called Vancouver, too. Unless you mean Vancouver, BC, in which case, why did I never know you were so close to BC?

I keep forgetting we have one, too, so don't feel alone. I mean, I live about ten minutes (with good traffic) from it.

I think everyone kinda forgets about Vancouver... Whenever it's mentioned up here, everyone just kinda assumes we're talking about Canada.

[Petrie]

Thumbs Up: House to myself, house to myself, house to myself. I'm temporarily a big kid, nanner nanner nanner.

Unrelated Thumbs Down: I am still hurting. Especially when doing things that require I stretch my arms up or in front of me. Things like shelving or washing my hair or riding my bike to/from work.

Thumbs Up: I drew something today. It was pretty basic but I almost always feel better when I get to draw.

[Luet]

Thumbs down: I am still unreasonably anxious about my trip and life in general.

Thumbs up: I saw SIX hawks today. They flew to where I could see them just to cheer me up.

[Petra456]

Thumbs up: I get to go Christmas shopping today.
Thumbs down: I feel like i'm really bad at picking out gifts, so it stresses me out.
Thumbs up: I get to visit some of my favorite local stores downtown.
Thumbs down: I'm not shopping for me (wow, that sounds horrible!)
Thumbs up: I have today off.
Thumbs down: I work tomorrow (I was supposed to have it off).
Thumbs up: Will let me sleep in (because I was up too late playing Halo).
Thumbs down: I slept in a lot, which put me in a lazy mood. Blehhhh.

[Petrie]

Thumbs down: I feel like i'm really bad at picking out gifts, so it stresses me out.

+1 for the Twin list

[Eaquae Legit]

Thumbs down: Christmas at the malls. Blech.
Thumbs up: The internet!
Thumbs down: It always feels like cheating. Or disconnecting from society.
Thumbs up: "Society" sucks this time of year.
Thumbs up: Checking things off my list!
Thumbs down: It's not ALL checked off yet.

[Gravity Defier]

Thumbs Down: This is day three of feeling batshit insane, knowing it's for no real reason, wanting to stop it, and being unable to.

Thumbs Up: Yesterday seems to have been the worst of it, so here's hoping it's ending soon.

Thumbs Down: I'm worried it's going to scare off the boy, now that he's getting a closer, more personal look at it.

Thumbs Up-ish: If he's easily scared by this sort of thing, it's best he get scared off now rather than later.

Thumbs Down: I suffer from these bouts occasionally. It probably won't go away, ever.

Thumbs Definitely Up: My closest, best friends still think I'm kind of cool, despite all my craziness. I feel very well loved (even as I get irrationally angry and lash out at those same people). I'm pretty darn lucky.

[Gravity Defier]

Thumbs Up: At least I already felt awful, quite separately from tonight's events. It was perfect timing.

Thumbs Down: Well...yeah.

Thumbs Down: I may have overreacted, as I'm wont to doing.

Thumbs Up: Hmm. I guess I've also reacted worse in the past but it is still early, so maybe this is a Thumbs Unknown.

Thumbs Down: I may actually feel kind of numb.

Thumbs Up: I do believe I like it.

Thumbs Up: This should have been first: sweet, sweet emo music, here I come.

Thumbs Down: Now I think I'm being childish and stupid. Heaven help me, if I make a bigger deal about it on Pweb than this, I'm begging a mod to block me. I can't keep coming here and having meltdowns.

[Nehali Sophia]

Thumbs Up: Christmas Party tomorrow!

Thumbs Down: My mom came home from work in a bad mood.
Thumbs Down: She started taking it out on me
Thumbs Up: I took a deep breath before going into the same room with her, stayed calm while she ranted, and escaped to my room without getting mad as well.
Thumbs Down: I hate how the above made me feel like I'm in high school again, and not a twenty-something with 2 undergrad degrees

Thumbs Up: Catching up with a friend on Friday!

[Brian]

thumbs down: losing your job

thumbs up: I now know how to fix bikes like a pro.