Philotic Web

Dear Body,

Thanks for the annoyingly unmanageable hair. *facepalm*
Also, thanks for the horrible eyes. Though, sorry for not fixing you, but I hate how I look in my glasses.

Wish you were taller.

Love,

Cez

Body,

Thanks for the randomly dry skin. Just what I need when I start trying to impress guys again...

Love,
Pl14

Dear Body,

Thank you so much, really, for the annoyingly oily skin. I would also like to voice my thanks for the hard-to-manage long hair. And if you could perchance make me taller by a couple inches, that would be lovely.

Love,
Aes.

Oh and body?

Thanks a whole lot for the poofy hair. Everybody thinks it's like a pillow and insist on touching it costantly.

It's not cotton candy, Dustin. Promise.

Love,
Pl14

Dear body,

Thank you for the squinty eyes, the crazy light sensitivity, and the vitiligo. Oh, and thanks for being a jerk and wholly unable to grow any kind of respectable beard.

-Me

Dear body,

How's it going, buddy? (sorry for the bad pun, had to put that one in). Thanks for proving to me that I'm insane.

Me

Hey there,
Looking good.

Hi,

You know, I want to be grateful. I really do. You've been so good about exercising with me pretty damn consistently over the past several months. You generally do what I tell you to. I'm definitely a size and maybe a half smaller than I was two years ago. So, you know, I try to be grateful. And, like I've already told you, you don't have to lose weight for the wedding. Just try not to gain any. And thanks for, you know, walking and talking and reaching and tasting and seeing and feeling and smelling. And a lot of thanks to my immune system for keeping me flu-free for the past several years. Oh, and hearing. I'm grateful for that. And my voice. Good job, there, larynx.

There are two things, though, that are getting in the way of my gratitude:

1. My skin. I'm almost 30. I'm going to have serious wrinkles soon enough. You've already started with the lines around my eyes. So what the heck is up with the adult acne? And why is it getting WORSE as I grow older? Why? It was not nearly this bad in high school. Please, please, please can't I have a tiny grace period before serious aging sets in? I do my best. I try to do everything right. Yes, I know, I will probably go to a doctor next month when my new insurance kicks in.

2. The whole PMS thing. Which, honestly, probably would be considered PMDD by people who believes that exists (of whom I am one). My concentration and will power is shot, my breasts HURT like mad, and I generally despise myself for approximately 1/4 of my life. And it aggravates problem #1.

So, yeah. If you could take care of those two things, I'd be very, very grateful.

Me

Dear Body,

Enough with the acid reflux already. It's slowing killing me : ( I would also like it if you slowed down on the hang nails lately, they suck.

-Me

Dear my body,

Thanks for still going on. I know I'm not making it any easier on you with all the mental stress, but I'm honestly trying to take at least some basic care of you. If you could speak though, you're free to call it fail of command of a week.

Also, an interesting thread. Seems like I will be visiting often, as I have a *lot* to say to my body.

Dear body,

If you'd just stop aging right now but keep living for at least another 80 years or so that'd be just swell. Keep up the good work.

-Me

Hey...

Yeah... Um, I'm sorry I sort of cut one of the hairs on your head, and now it's sticking up right in the front... And I will try to be better, and not bruise you from now on by tripping, not jumping away from the hula hoop fast enough (you know what I mean), and containing my anger and stuff by not kicking poles or walls! I will also try to study harder for you, brain!

-Me, Your Unworthy Owner.

Also, an interesting thread. Seems like I will be visiting often, as I have a *lot* to say to my body.

Succesful thread is successful.

P.S. from the other post^^^:

Other than that little bruise from uh, earlier, doing good!

Body,

What's WRONG with you lately? I mean, I can accept the current cold as just being one of these things, but what's with the whole refusing to taste stuff? Snap out of it, already.

Me

Dear Body,

I understand it's not your fault that you got genes for a crowded, small mouth and weak, holey teeth, but I don't understand why you couldn't have waited till my dental insurance kicked in to f*** up the last root canal. Couldn't you have waited at least until I wouldn't have to cover the full cost by myself? That would've been nice.

Thanks,

Me

@_@

First time my trademark failthread pic has been used against me.

Dear body,
...Wtf's up with that random strand of gray hair? Not that I have a problem with it, or anything. It's just really random, though I've supposedly had it since forever, I was never able to see it for some reason till now.

Also, stomach, do your fuucking job in the morning, before I fire you.
Seriously. You can't hold down food in the morning? The fact that it's morning doesn't mean you can slack off. Kthxnbai.

Love,

Czez

Dear Tooth Number 2,

Thank you for splitting in an L shape rather than just down the middle. It meant that the dentist was able to save you (by the skin of my... you.) No wonder you were hurting, what with spreading every time you were under pressure. Ouch. Anyhow, please don't be to quick to be rid of the novacaine and please react swiftly and gleefully to the Darvocet when it shows up.

Thanks,

Me

Dear body,

Why are you cold! Stop shivering! P.S. fewer migraines would be nice.

Dear body,

The cold was okay, whatever. The sinus infection that came next was getting annoying but appears to be defeated. And now these sneezing fits and deciding something at work bugs you? NOT COOL.

Dear body,

The glucose test is in the morning. If you don't pass and I have to do the 3 hour, I'm SO not going to be happy with you. Please produce sufficient insulin so I don't have to worry about, ok? You haven't failed this test in the past, so please don't start tomorrow. Thanks!

Dear Body,

You're almost there. Just the toes, now! C'mon!

Quit fussing and aching about the 40 years of glorious abuse!

Dear Body,

Thanks for being woman. Really makes my day, every single "that time of the month".

Dear Body,

Why can't you be a Heroe?

--Jez

Dear Body,

You know what you did.

Joshua

Dear body,

wth was that. You were fine, you were being asked out by the cab driver, complimenting the boy in line on his XKCD button, and THEN you sit down, cough, and then feel like you are going to lose your last night's dinner. WHAT. Rushing through the airport like that was not how I wanted to spend my morning.

Dear Body,

STOP MESSING WITH ME.

Dear Stomach

KNOCK IT OFF!
And NO MORE COUGHING!

Dear face,

I hate having acne. It's not extreme, but it is annoying.

Work on that please.

Love,
Me

dear body if you get to the 190s you get to take a mexican cruise if she gets to the 130s. She's got tenish pounds you've got twentyish, better get cracking BEFORE the new year. :-p

dear body,

I can deal with a cold, even a sinus infection...par for the course. But this aching, sore rib cage/solar plexus to the point that I can't get comfortable in any sort of position whatsoever? Not cool. I don't have a cough, so it's not due to that. If this pans out to be like 9-10 years ago, this is thanks to swollen lymph nodes in my abdomen. Thanks sucky immune system. I'm just hoping it's not an enlarged spleen. I cannot WAIT until the doctor opens in the morning.

ps. What is up with the sudden intolerance/allergy to codeine?! Insomnia, itching, trouble breathing = grrr!

Dear Body,

Oow, I don't know what the hell happened, but it hurts. STOP. Ooow.

Dear body,


Why is my skin SO DRY????
Maybe I've mentioned this before, but putting on lotion every day gets real old real fast

hate,
Pl14