Philotic Web

This is the official thread for all Guy Stuff, the sort of problematic things related specifically to being a guy which we never talk about with other guys (or gals, though ladies may on occasion wrest admissions from us during vulnerable pillow talk moments). So if we guys are going to not talk about something this is the thread to not talk about it in.

Remember, if you can't say something Guy Stuff related while standing next to a guy at a urinal, you shouldn't be talking about it at all. As all guys know, ideally, restrooms should not contain any conversation; monosyllabic greetings such as, "Hey," and responses such as "Hey" are generally considered the maximum conversation that can be held in good taste.)

*In deepest masculine voice possible*

Hey.

So...How about them Yankees?

It's about time we have a thread of our own.

*kicks shadow-petra out*

Now if only there was a word we can say that will guarantee the girls will will stay out, like they have for us.


How about a name...like ""He-Man Woman Haters Club"

Or we could simply become the official PWeb branch of NO MA'AM

That's awesome; almost makes me want to watch Married... with Children. I also now realize Sinfest's matriarchy strips are quite similar.

Olhado_: feh, just act offensive and chauvinist enough (i.e. stop trying to hide it), and they won't stay.

As all guys know, ideally, restrooms should not contain any conversation; monosyllabic greetings such as, "Hey," and responses such as "Hey" are generally considered the maximum conversation that can be held in good taste.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw . I don't agree with the choice of the 'no urinals taken yet' situation, though. If there's five urinals, going for the middle one makes it less possible for others to screw up the subsequent choices. If you go for one on the end, you can wind up with some idiot choosing the one second from the end, and then the third guy that gets there is screwed.

This also reminds me once I went to a bathroom that had three urinals, and there was a guy who was using the middle one! When nobody else was there! Who does that? (No partitions between urinals) I really wanted to just stand there and say "dude, what the hell", but that would have been, you know, talking.

My only explanation, Zeroguy is that he was there when two others left and he didn't realize it and they had already been long gone before you got there and the guy had to piss like a racehorse. I've been caught in that situation before and it feels awkward.

"He-Man Woman Haters Club"

Only, and I mean only, if you feed girls to alligators.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw . I don't agree with the choice of the 'no urinals taken yet' situation, though. If there's five urinals, going for the middle one makes it less possible for others to screw up the subsequent choices. If you go for one on the end, you can wind up with some idiot choosing the one second from the end, and then the third guy that gets there is screwed.

I think either option is acceptable. Things are usually fine until you get to the 3 out of 5 situation. There are times when you really need to go or just don't have time to wait or come back later, and all the stalls are occupied, so you have to use one of those off limits urinals. All you can do is keep looking straight ahead, do your business as quickly as possible, and feel very uncomfortable and apologetic.

"He-Man Woman Haters Club"

Only, and I mean only, if you feed girls to alligators.

That can be arranged.

This thread makes me want to sing I'll Make a Man Out of You

"He-Man Woman Haters Club"

Only, and I mean only, if you feed girls to alligators.

That can be arranged.

I'll prepare a list of my suggestions, from Most Desired to Be Consumed by an Alligator to Least Desired...But Still Desired to Be Consumed by an Alligator.

(You can throw me in there, too after everything is said and done. I'll go easy knowing the world is free of certain girls.)

Here's a question. What do you do when you get hard in public?

Take a seat and put your elbows on your knees. But what if there is no place to sit?
"Walk it off". Uh no. The friction of your pants can further arouse you.
Hide it underneath your belt. Sure that works, but you need some privacy to adjust it.

What do you do when you don't have the needed privacy?
Grab a book or a plate and hold it in front of you. I feel so self conscious when I do that!

The embarrassment makes me remember things like that YEARS after it happens. IF it happens again, I'd like to be prepared. Any suggestions?

edited: quotations

I find that the severity of that problem greatly depends on the type of underwear and pants you're wearing. Also, the manner in which you.. *ahem* arrange your goods. Mental discipline helps too.

This is why I usually wear baggy pants and boxers. They hide them a lot better than tighter pants do.

I don't see any more chicks in this thread. Thank me, for my post has worked!

I'm trying to train myself to not care if it's visible. I mean really, if you saw someone else who was obviouly hard, would you care? I think I'd just assume I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing.

But lacking that, mental discipline, and I try to have stuff to carry in front of me when walking.

The way I figure it is that they shouldn't be looking there anyway if they're guys and if they're girls...feel honored. I mean...I know that's a weird way to look at the situation, but I don't think there's any reason to be embarrassed. Sometimes you're sleepy, sometimes you have to pee, sometimes you see something you like. Big deal. Half the population of Earth have the problem. It shouldn't be seen as a big deal.

Your post is based on the faulty premise that women are rational. Feel honoured? More likely you'll get a slap in the face. Strangely enough, most guys I know would be thrilled if they could tell that a girl was sexually aroused in their presence.

Seriously though, it's also perfectly natural to fart, but you're still going to be embarrassed as hell if you let out a loud stinky one in public. Somewhere along the line our society decided that it's inappropriate to have a visible erection in public, so no matter how natural it is, it'll still be embarrassing for most guys, and make most people who see it uncomfortable.

I get embarrassed about it, too. I'm just saying we shouldn't. And I don't really know what I meant when I said honored. I knew that was wrong when I typed it. I should've deleted it, but still...

honored, lol, yeah that'll never fly.

it's the sleepy that gets me the most. just a little bit drowsy and boom, involuntary erection. The worst though are the completely random ones where nothing has aroused you, not even whatever you were thinking about, your body just decided to have an erection at that moment. :p

hmm there are other topics out there: premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation.

I was listening to Love Line last week and a guy called in and had induced delayed ejaculation upon himself so severely as a young teen (from trying to hold it in while whacking off to avoid premature ejaculation in the future when he would get laid) that the semen was backfiring into his kidneys. medically it's not serious, he was just experience an orgasm without any ejaculate. Apparently this is getting more and more common due to so much social pressure telling guys that the worst thing that could happen is premature ejaculation (think American Pie, sitcoms, porn videos, late night talk shows etc). Apparently the lesson that guys have taken from this is that girls want a guy that lasts a long time, such as thirty-ninety minutes. Heh.

I gotta say I feel bad for you guys when it comes to swimming. I was in a course with one poor soul - he was the only guy in the group, and we were doing things like spinal rollovers and body-on-the-bottom-of-the-pool rescues. Completely business/professional, but he couldn't hide a thing. I still really feel bad for him.

Speaking solely for myself, I almost NEVER notice if a guy has a random erection (whether it be a stranger or an acquaintance). I'm just not looking. The only situation where I can imagine it being obvious is if I was seated on a crowded subway train and a guy was standing right in front of me or something. But since I go to NYC once or twice a year, that is not likely to happen.

Maybe it's something that guys notice because you are more aware/concerned about it in general? Just an idea. But if I am anything like the norm, you certainly don't have to worry about girls noticing. But if I'm not and girls are noticing all the time...then the others can speak up.

Really? I'm constantly staring at guy's crotches.

I've never really noticed a random one, I think. I mean, it is kinda of awkward when a guy is crouched down with you or something and you can obviously see it, but other then that, I don't notice them when I shouldn't.

There was this guy in my french class who one day just started to touch himself in the middle of class. Security had to be called and he had to be escorted out. That was one of the most awkward things i've ever been though...

I don't normally notice, it's true. I think that's the only situation I've ever noticed. It's hard not to, when "personal space" is for people who fail the course.

In high school, I would sneak a peak whenever I could at a guy's crotch. Not because I was looking for erections but because I just couldn't convince myself that they had a penis hidden underneath their pants; it always came up as a black censor block in my mind.

"I know you have one...but where is it?!" Like it mattered in the least bit.

You're weird...

*hangs head* Yeah...I know.

I admit, I've only noticed it once on another guy. It was the most awkward thing in the world. . .

My wife and I were at my aunt's funeral, and my dad had a random one. What made it awkward was my homosexual cousin (about 26 years old) noticed and became aroused himself! It doesn't stop there. My cousin bent over to get a really close look. My dad was completely oblivious talking with his brother who lost his wife.
Yeah, I got upset with my cousin.

I admit, I've only noticed it once on another guy. It was the most awkward thing in the world. . .

My wife and I were at my aunt's funeral, and my dad had a random one. What made it awkward was my homosexual cousin (about 26 years old) noticed and became aroused himself! It doesn't stop there. My cousin bent over to get a really close look. My dad was completely oblivious talking with his brother who lost his wife.
Yeah, I got upset with my cousin.

Damn, that's messed up.

Speaking solely for myself, I almost NEVER notice if a guy has a random erection

Emphasis mine. Almost.

Seriously, though, this is exactly my point. I can't recall any time when I noticed someone else having this particular problem. Which means either: nobody else has the problem but me (haha), it's not really that noticeable, or even if it was, I didn't really care enough to remember. So, it's never caused anyone else to really suffer embarassment from me noticing; why should it be different for myself?

Of course, now I realize there are girls like Alea... Now I have to rethink my whole strategy.

(from trying to hold it in while whacking off to avoid premature ejaculation in the future when he would get laid) [...] Apparently this is getting more and more common due to so much social pressure telling guys that the worst thing that could happen is premature ejaculation

Well, there's that, and that it's just plain more fun that way....

Well, there's that, and that it's just plain more fun that way....

perhaps it's more fun than the guys but after fifteen-thirty minutes of pounding it stops being so much fun for the ladies. much less guys that go on for an hour or more, and on love line the guys that were complaining didn't like the fact that they weren't reaching orgasm during sex. it's sort of hilariously backward from the traditional. But that's progress for you.

When I was younger I use to look at guy's crotches, pretty much for the same reason as Alea.

Just curiosity.

Riiiight... And if I stare at a girl's chest, it's just because I'm curious about how those things make milk.

You girls are such pervs. You make me feel like just a piece of meat. You're never curious about what's on my mind, just what's in my pants!

Riiiight... And if I stare at a girl's chest, it's just because I'm curious about how those things make milk.

You girls are such pervs. You make me feel like just a piece of meat. You're never curious about what's on my mind, just what's in my pants!

QFT

It's not like i'll stand there, right in front of you, and stare down at your crotch while we're talking!

Have any of you guys actually been distracted enough by a pair of boobs to stare?