Philotic Web

Sigh. People. If anything, I'm biased towards interracial couples--mixed babies are adorable. Then again, I don't know if I would marry someone of a different race. I don't think would have a problem with it, love is love. But I haven't had the opportunity to date anyone of another race so who knows. I thought it was interesting that even though white-black marriages have increased in the US, it's still less than 11%. For some reason I thought it'd be higher. I wonder if it is different in Europe or Canada...

After reading Pweb and that blog post this morning, I've been thinking about how my family responded to my uncle coming out of the closet. I was too young when it happened, so I don't know much beyond what my mother has said and how my family acts now. I don't know the exact order of events, but during the whole process my uncle came out, got divorced, and left his church. He had two young daughters at the time and my family is very religious, so I am sure any of those three would have been devastating to my grandparents. I think I remember his wife, but I could be making those up from pictures. Anyway, my grandpa was angry (kind of his style) and Mom says he blamed my grandma for all of it. I imagine it made for some rocky years and I do not envy what my uncle had to have been going through for all it.

My mom and her siblings aren't very close at all, and she claims my uncle was always weird. My oldest aunt doesn't talk to him, but they hated each other all growing up, so that might not have anything to do with him being gay. My cousins and brothers drop the occasional joke about him. It's like the whole family made him into the crazy relative, and frankly, I'm not that proud of it. We all should act better about it, but since we rarely see him or his daughters no one has had to make an effort to act better. I think it makes most of the family more uncomfortable than anything. No one is hateful about or towards him--he's just quirky. It's not the best response for sure, but I am grateful it's not worse.

I think it was really hard on my grandparents, but they've come a long way. My ex-aunt never took his kids away from him--he always had some degree of custody. When we have major family events, he and his partner are invited. My grandma still has his ex-wife on the family birthday calendar. I think she still considers them married on some level. My cousin's ex-wife got taken off pretty much as soon as they got divorced (no one liked her). My grandma did finally put my uncle's partner on there, so that's something. In her old age, she just wants her children to all get along. My grandpa has dropped his anger--he's just too old to care now. My grandparents went to his partner's daughters' weddings and visit them at least once a year. When my cousin (his daughter) came out, everyone took it a lot better (they all saw it coming, so they were prepared).

My uncle is still the weird gay one of the family, but he's still family. It's not ideal and things probably shouldn't have been as rocky as they were, but I am glad that my grandparents were able to put their love for their son over their uncomfortableness with his lifestyle. I don't think I realized before how many people only get hate from their families, and it breaks my heart.

Sigh. People. If anything, I'm biased towards interracial couples--mixed babies are adorable.

I agree .

I always find it sad when I hear people say that they only date others within their own race. I know that it doesn't mean that they're racist. Everyone has preferences when it comes to who they find attractive, but still, it saddens me.

When my cousin and his partner got married, they had to have informal bouncers at the wedding in case the partner's family showed up and caused a big scene. I still think that is just one of the saddest things ever. Not big-scale tragic, like the Darfur crisis or the Holocaust or anything, but really emblematic of humanity's ability to hate. For Pete's sake, if you're THAT opposed, at least just stay away.

Thanks, Shannon, both for the link and the thoughts about your uncle. Both were really touching reads.

Every time I think about this stuff, I remember this line from SftD:

Only one rabbi dared to expect of us such a perfect balance that we could preserve the law and still forgive the deviation. So, of course, we killed him.

It's hard to tell someone who does things you find immoral that you don't condemn them without feeling like you are condoning their actions. To a lot of people it seems impossible. To some people, those who spread such impossible ideas must be blasphemers. I wonder how many Christians would revolt against Christ today. Christianity (and most other religions I can think of) do demand that balance. And that balance is hard.

Siri is better to the boys:

http://amaditalks.tumblr.com/post/13513981784/siri" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Gravity Defier: Yeah, I was Waldo (well, black waldo. Baldo) for Halloween.

Starlooker: Was Rhodes the college you went to? Other than the situations I've outlined, everything's pretty good overall.
I mean, I can't complain about that one time some random frat dudes thought I was cool...apparently because I was black. As, they basically ignored my nonblack friend and five semi-attractive plus female friends...and kept coming up and talking to me. I guessed they wanted me to rush their frat; it was rush season. And most blacks only pledge the all black fraternities.
That was just funny, since I don't consider myself that cool.

Also, I guess I should note that I'm always getting looks from black students, since they all tend to gravitate towards one another. And, I don't. I'm more of a hang out with whoever kind of guy, based mostly on proximity, so I don't know as a high a percentage of black students as most of them do. Who knows if it would be different if I wasn't the only black guy in my dorm, last year. (I know maybe 60% in my year, however most of them all know each other regardless of year) Though, I know a high proportion of Nigerians because Nigerians are my people and we all love each other...I digress.
Anyways, I tend to get these stares from the random freshman or upperclassmen I don't know. Like, a "hmm shouldn't I know you stare?". Like, if they catch me out of the corner of their eye, they'll look over assuming they know me - just to be disappointed that they don't.

Though, I get it mostly from girls. So they could just be checkin me out.

/rambled

On a random note, my roomate(who is gay) once claimed that he didn't want to go to a popular school event because "too many straight people". Oh, and him and his boyfriend once called us "the normies".

Every time I think about this stuff, I remember this line from SftD:

Only one rabbi dared to expect of us such a perfect balance that we could preserve the law and still forgive the deviation. So, of course, we killed him.

It's hard to tell someone who does things you find immoral that you don't condemn them without feeling like you are condoning their actions. To a lot of people it seems impossible. To some people, those who spread such impossible ideas must be blasphemers. I wonder how many Christians would revolt against Christ today. Christianity (and most other religions I can think of) do demand that balance. And that balance is hard.

I think about that quote a lot, too, because that's the Christ I know. I don't know the Christ some of these people claim to be acting for.

I do agree that mixed race babies are cute, though My mother has like, latched on to this- she explicitly wants me to have a happa baby. She told me this a couple of years ago and I made the mistake earlier this week of telling her about a friend who had just moved back to Hong Kong and she asked me so many questions about him-- he and I went on one very awkward, is this a date? Wait, is it? breakfasts in college. Ease off mother! (I am pretty likely to marry an Asian guy; the vast majority of men I know are Asian, though in the past I have only dated Jewish boys named Daniel)

I did once have a crush on a guy who was a part of one of the campus organizations posted on the previous page & liked one of the nutters STATUS UPDATES on Facebook.

Needless to say, I am WAY OVER him.

This seems inappropriately appropriate:

I have never heard of the term "happa baby".

This seems inappropriately appropriate:

I find it much funnier in the context of the episode, myself.

I want everyone to know that I have had "Mulatto Butts" pop into my head at the most inappropriate moments in the past few days.

Thanks a lot, Yeebs.

Some more food for thought that turned up today: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... n-of-women" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I was strongly reminded of the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" to-do, and my inability to explain to people why I was bothered by it.

Two older women just visited my grandmother. It was quite an odd conversation to overhear. One told my grandmother about a primary care doctor that she would recommend, "He is really good even though he is colored." The other was talking about her new Cadillac Escalade and how it made her uncomfortable driving in the black sections of town because they all stared at her, because you see "they like those kinds of cars". And these women are not even from the south, but Ohio and NY. What is wrong with these people? Is it a generational thing? I guess I have never experienced/heard racist comments firsthand before. It really upset me.

It's a generational thing, trust me. I have a lot of family like that, who just are used to the way things used to be said and never got around to changing their vocabulary.

Or their outlook, for that matter.

But it's more of a... passive racism. They probably don't really even notice, half the time, that what they're saying is racist. That doesn't excuse things at all, but it's just interesting to compare the civilized racism of older generations to the aggressive, almost violent racism I saw among some kids in the South.

That reminds me a bit of the Flannery O'Connor I was reading recently. The kind of language being used by her characters was utterly foreign to me and you could see how they thought they were being polite and what have you while still being horrified at their attitudes and language.

The best way to determine if something is racist is to ask this guy: http://yoisthisracist.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Anonymous asked: Being surprised to hear a white person speaking completely fluent spanish?

Yo, you know Spain is in Europe, right?

LOL

I don't know what to say about the whole "passive racism" thing. In a way, it's almost more upsetting to me than the more overt or even violent alternative. The latter is usually based on a sense of fear or feeling threatened by someone different. But the former... I don't know how to explain what I mean exactly, but it seems less based on visceral emotion, but more of a cool-headed intellectual acceptance that people of a different race are inferior to you. Sometimes it comes across more as pity than fear or hate, and somehow, like I said, it almost feels worse to me.

Maybe it's because if you see a cross-burning, hood-wearing racist it's easy to write him off as an ignorant a****** who's probably so filled with hate and insecurity that he's miserable. But how am I supposed to feel about the sweet old lady who holds her purse tighter when I walk by? Or who is perfectly lovely until say I want to date her granddaughter?

A friend of mine and I like to make overly racist comments in front of our 'passively' racist friends and family members. It's fun to see how far they'll play along before deciding we're being 'too' racist, or until they catch onto our act.

Although, it is quite depressing when the person we're trying to make uncomfortable 'out racists' us by honestly being more racist than either of us are willing to joke about...

I don't say this lightly.

What the f****** f***?

(ps. this is a NATIONAL newspaper)

TL;DR version: The columnist sees some 10 year old boys hug each other instead of punch each other and it's the end of men everywhere. We need more bullies.

It's Christine Blatchford. She's always been nutty.

Yeeesh that's nightmarish. And alarming to see someone get such a hard-on for the Fords.

The best way is to take the bully out for a short pounding after school – and may I make it plain, please, that I don’t mean the victims should do this, but rather others.

Really? I'm glad I've never heard of this lady before. She be crazy.

Honestly, I don't think running off to a teacher or parent is the best solution to bullying, but it's a heck of a lot better than perpetuating violence. You can stand up for the bullied without pushing bullies down. Hug on, boys, hug on.

What also bothers me is the complete lack of historical awareness. The characteristics of manliness change over time, and there's nothing wrong with that.

What the f****** f***?

Well, to be fair, it can get a bit out of hand. I hear nowadays some boys or even grown men watch this show about ponies made for little girls.

Wow, just, wow. (To the thread Zero linked to).

Isn't Conservative's Forum a parody, troll forum, though? It's hard to keep track of them all, what with Poe's Law in full effect.

http://www.daniellesucher.com/2011/11/j ... extension/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A very interesting idea. What would the internet look like with all the pronouns and gendered words swapped around?

I'm not sure I see the point in that.

I'm not sure I see the point in that.

To make you think. For example, the link you posted in the other thread about a female superhero becomes "male superhero". How does that change your perspective? Does it make a difference? Why does is the gender important?
I don't think it's for using 100% of the time or anything, but looking at a news story or the internet for a day with everything switched can change the way you think about gender.

Yeah, I wouldn't think using it all the time would be anything more than annoying. But for a day? You'd really think. I think it would be brilliant, say, for a gender-studies course, or a high school sociology class.

Grade 3 slavery math questions spark U.S. school board probe

I don't know if the questions were "offensive." "Historically insensitive," maybe, but they were not offensive in themselves. "Offensive" is just a lot stronger of a word, I suppose.

Also, using "beatings" as a variable in a math question just seems overly violent, related to black slavery or not.

I'd say that it was simply a bad idea. Not offensive, nor warranting an investigation, but simply ill-advised.