Philotic Web

Confessions

I have a huge crush on Paul Dimeo.

Confessions

Agh. My mind and my heart have diverged into complete opposites. It's been some 70 days since my ex dumped me. Yet, although I have loads of animosity towards her, I still think she's gosh darn hot. And since my aerobic exercise is, well, the hand, it is obvious that this is part of the problem. I'v...

Confessions

I'm trying not to ruin my surprise by snooping... but I'm not doing very well.

Confessions

I'm using Confessions mostly due to the embarassing, to me, nature of my post. I feel it's pretty obvious who I am, looking back over the post, but this makes me more comfortable. It's funny, more sad/strange than humorous, how the word "lonely" just about makes me break down if I say it, ...

Confessions

Sort of a double post, but... oh well. Dear You, I'm mad at you. Actually, no, that's a lie. I'm more sad than angry, and I don't understand. With the hits my self-image has taken in the past year I do, in a way, blame myself. For what? For being socially awkward? But I always have been, and I've im...

Confessions

Dear You,

I miss you, too.
But I can't tell you 'cause you frighten me

--Me

Confessions

Bob, What? All that time, that book had existed, had been selling in bookstores, and I didn't know about it? In all my visits in the various bookstores- hell, I go to a bookstore at least every week, since it's so convenient- I've seen this book, on the "on-sale" shelves, on random other s...

Confessions

I was very foolish today

Confessions

Bob, I really wanted to do this the right way. And I tried, I tried to do this the honest, right, normal straightforward way. TWICE. And up until now (seven weeks after the second failure), I upheld that if I can't do it the right way, I won't do it at all. Well, today I decided "screw that.&qu...

Confessions

So, I'm a virgin. There, I've said it for the first time in months, since I jokingly told my mother, who has been convinced I wasn't one since I was 17 or so and spent way too much time alone with boys (Alas, I really WAS interested in having 5 hour long conversations about economic theory). I'm abs...

Confessions

I hope I've lost my grasp on reality. Every other option is much scarier.

Confessions

Dear You,

Since it's not you, it's going to have to be him.

I wanted it to be you.

Confessions

People manage to overcome all kinds of relationship handicaps in the world. But fat, ugly, and boring? Give up now.

Confessions

I can't wait until I can be on the receiving end of a mother's day present.

Confessions

Happy Birthday Albert!

Confessions

Dear Confessions, You're not alone. So did I. It was too late for me, too. It hurts me at times, too. What helped for me was giving my baby a name. Then I wrote it a letter. I still feel guilty, even though people tell me I shouldn't, but I like to pretend it got the letter telling it I am sorry and...

Confessions

Bob, I lost my baby in December. I don't know why the pain is rearing up again so suddenly, but I haven't felt myself in a few days. I can feel myself withdrawing from people again. I can feel myself declining. I feel sort of empty. I'm worried about my work performance being affected. I know it's m...

Confessions

Dear Bob, Broken promises. Promises made to me, and promises I made to myself- both broken today. I was going to write, perhaps, a concise Dear You saying "you promised", but I feel like I need more venting than that. Because hell, I did get a promise. I don't like broken promises, stated ...

Confessions

Confession: When I read the above post I began questioning whether one of my alternate identities had suddenly learned a new trick of doing things without my knowledge...

Confessions

confession: sometimes I feel like I am divided into multiple people. I'm not entirely sure who I am and it's agonizing. My religion says I ought to be one thing, and I desperately want to be on good terms with that identity. The trouble is that it is only approaching sex and gender from the perspect...

Confessions

TeeHee. There's a clue, just like when it was Steph.

Confessions

I'm having a baby in early December.

Confessions

Bob,

I had unprotected sex last night, with a girl I don't even like. Now all I can think is "f*** f*** f*** f***, what if she's pregnant now?" God I'm stupid.

Bad move.

--Me

Confessions

I made an appointment with a sex therapist to try to overcome my sexual aversion.

Confessions

Dear Bob, DAMMIT. I thought that might be so. s***. Well, it might be irrelevant anyway. (I still don't want it to be). But if it won't be? (soon find out, won't we?) Either the theoretical, hypothetical Operation Kickstart will be rendered moot... or, well, I guess I could root for the instability ...

Confessions

Dear You,

I wonder
How it's going to be when you don't know me
How's it going to be when you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be when there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
'Cause I don't care

How's it going to be?

Confessions

I thought I was over digging around his stuff looking for things that would upset me.

Confessions

Dear Bob, I'm tired of being poked fun of. I feel like it's all the time here, and I'm tired of it. I already feel useless and worthless enough not having work. I don't like being pushed to apply for any blue collar job that I can because "you're a blue collar worker". I don't care that th...

Confessions

I am worthless.

Confessions

Bob, A random sort of summary-ish post, which also has to do with beginnings. So far, I haven't crashed. Due to a combination of willpower and chance, and I hope it will continue to be so for the next couple of months. It's not going to be easy. I know that very well. It just might be possible, thou...

Confessions

I've got a secret! A good one!

It's too secret to post even anonymously, but I'm bursting to tell, so I'm just anonymously posting that I have a secret. That's okay, right?

Right.

Confessions

It was written to Satya. I love you, dear.

Or no one on pWeb, but the ex knows this message board. Take your pick!

Confessions

I've no idea if the earlier post was to me or not, but in the same anonymously protected way, I felt the need to respond; if only to reflect similar feelings of my own. Dear You, You're right, you did make a mistake. Come to think of it, so did I. Part of growing up. When it comes to relationships, ...

Confessions

Dear You, That's not necessarily a bad thing. Some can find amusement, satisfaction, or even a little bit of pride in reading that from an ex-girlfriend. Only moreso when it's posted anonymously and with such fear not knowing whatsoever whether the feelings described really are as one-sided as antic...

Confessions

Dear you, I made a mistake. I still love you. I compare everyone I date to you, which isn't fair to them. That makes for interesting relationships. And now you're over me, and it's far too late. I sincerely wonder if anyone will ever love me like you did, or if I'll ever really love someone else tha...

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