He thought of a half dozen ideas before he went to sleep. Ender would be pleased — every one of them was stupid.

the egg man.

Yes, yes, I am ok with this plan. I have a decent collection of random costumes, including a powder blue tuxedo, a bright yellow rain suit with an umbrella hat, a referee jersey, a wizard costume, a three-piece corduroy suit, red and blue valet jackets, and a full custom pirate costume, to name a fe...

Thanks, everyone! I'm glad the word is finally out so Steph will stop asking why no one has said anything. Ha ha! I should have suspected that there might be some suspicious people out there, suspecting things. No one wanted to guess wrong, though. Anyway, this will be our last baby, so Pweb shall n...

So we're sitting at Wicked, talking during intermission, and Steph starts telling me about this conversation she started on Pweb about box max & cheese. But I think she's saying Boq's mac & cheese. So I'm sitting there thinking about the book, wondering if I missed something about Boq making...

Well, I can't very well ignore a request from an adoring fan, can I? Haha. However, in an effort to avoid incurring the wrath of any possible copyright/publisher gurus who may eventually be annoyed if I post the lyrics online, I will email the lyrics to "Arrgh! Avast! (A Talk Like a Pirate Day ...

Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-a.

I confess, I am a fame whore. Before I went to Hong Kong, every few months, I would tell Steph "I need to get on the news somehow. What should I do to get on the news?" Luckily, I don't have tendencies to live out the Grand Theft Auto method of acquiring fame (such as killing pedestrians u...

We sure had a good time visiting with you, Kirsten! I hope we didn't get you sick. I love that picture of the kids climbing on you. They had tons of fun. Thanks for giving us an excuse to go to Cinzetti's! Next time, we'll show you the mountains!

List of things I call my kids (besides their names): For Kinley: Widget, or Widget Doodles (no idea why) The Kinley Monster Missy, or Little Miss For Brayden: Brayden-with-a-dirty-face Crazedo (because our phones suggest "Crazedo" when they don't know "Brayden" is a word) Bud or...

Broke two world records for balancing eggs. Again. +2,000 LIFE points
Free trip to Hong Kong to break said records. +10,000 LIFE Points
Being told by your 5 year old that he is pretending to be you, balancing eggs...Priceless.

Attempted the Atomic Reaper ghost pepper 10 wing challenge at America's Bar and Grill. Involuntarily threw up while shoving in the 9th wing. My coworkers paid for the wings and kept up their end of the bet that I couldn't eat more than 7. Seriously yakked my guts out when I got home. +$50 -200 LIFE ...

I am a Lead Security Officer for Homeland Security. However, I am never as serious at home!

Being invited by a mall in Hong Kong to come break the world record for balancing eggs, judge an egg balancing competition and teach small children how to balance eggs.

+ 500 LIFE points.

My diabolical schemes are coming to fruition. It will seriously increase my life points to take the trip.

Mysteriously didn't get the promotion everyone thought I would get.

-$6000
-300 LIFE points

5 of my aspirations that failed: -Breaking a Guinness World Record- I couldn't find the record that was easy enough for me to overcome. Anyone can break a world record. You just have to pick something random and weird and be willing to spend a crazy amount of time and effort breaking it. Take it fr...

dapyrox, as I stated in my last post, it's not worth my time to try and change your mind, since it's not open to anything I have to say. I'm going to continue with my life of being a dad and going to work to keep you safe. If you want to form opinions based on inaccurate articles you read on the int...

daPyr0x: I had typed out a whole point-by-point response, but I think you have already pretty much formulated your opinion on the matter (even if it was largely influenced by two-year-old articles or two-year-old logic and dubious news sources . Don't believe everything you read on the internet. ). ...

To those of you who are speaking up in my defense, thank you. You're right, TSA agents don't enjoy patting down random strangers any more than the strangers enjoy it. Has anyone paused to think about the strictly-enforced policy that all pat-downs be executed by a screener of the same gender, witnes...

You should have seen his face when I told him I was his father!

Try not to act too shocked that I'm posting. I figured since all the hardcore Pwebbers told me I should get on and post at the Pwebcon shindig (at my house) that I had better get on and post. For those of you who don't remember or never knew, I'm Steph's little-heard-from husband. Not that I don't t...

Thanks to all for all the congrats! I am particularly smitten with her. She is so cute and laid back! Besides sleeping and eating, she likes to look around wide-eyed, as well as making cute little squeaking noises. That is why I have nicknamed her (among other things) Squeaker. I will take credit fo...

It's a girl! Kinley Rae was born at 10:33 on Monday, March 8 in Loveland, CO by planned C section. She weighed 7 lbs, 11 oz and was 20 inches long. Our sons, Tyler (4 1/2) and Brayden (2 1/2) are so excited to have a little sister. They've tried to give her everything from rubber duckies to crackers...

(I hope everyone votes before reading all the posts. It will be less biased.) We technically already decided on two girl names before we even got married: Arianna Rae and Elora Lois. Then we had Tyler (which took some time to decide on) and Brayden (which took some time to decide on). We pretty much...

I've been a slacker and not been on for awhile. (I'm Steph's husband, for any who are unaware or have forgotten me!) I must say it is fun to see a day in my wife's life, with me and our boys throughout! You forget how blessed you are sometimes until you see someone else looking in at your life. You ...

I am waiting for something catastrophic to happen so that we can declare martial law and live in our crawlspace. It would be fun! Now I just need to convince my wife to let me buy a few guns. Hopefully before the whole martial law thing...

I actually AM one of those TSA guys that frisk people at the airport. I know, you're jealous. You'd be less jealous if you knew that guys only frisk guys and girls only frisk girls. Anyway, to answer your question, a card doesn't really get you out of anything at the airport. Old men with titanium h...

I think I am definitely more calculated when I type than when I speak. I think a lot more about what I am saying and tend to review, edit, and try to catch typos. I'd have to agree with that phraseology...if that's a word. I take the time to use the exact wording that I want to use while I'm typing...

While typing a response to my wife's topic, I came to the realization that I communicate differently in text form than I do verbally. I use much bigger words when I'm typing, and generally use longer sentences as well. And I definitely use a lot more commas. Sometimes I worry that people who only kn...

Back by popular demand. Yes, yes, I am a slacker about getting on p-web...actually about getting on the web at all, lately. I have been using the internet as an encyclopedia/yellow pages/news source, but that's about it. I need to make use of its ability to connect me with the outside world in a soc...